How do you deal with people who kept calling themselves fat when they are incredibly thin?

[Anonymous]

Hi. I have had many friends and acquaintances who kept complaining that their fat and heavy everyday and almost every time. I know most people would suggest that I ignore them, or I just let them be. But sometimes, I can't help but feeling unhappy with it and feel that they are very inconsiderate with my feelings. Allow me to explain why:

I've been chubby/slightly on the heavier side due to medical conditions since young. I've been trying my best to stay healthy (though I'm still not slim nor thin) and I exercise (I can't do that much or be intense due to medical conditions). I feel slightly hurt, unhappy or feel that inconsiderate for them to keep saying their fat in front of me, especially when looking at their photos with me (I'm clearly the fattest in the bunch), when they weigh about 90lbs or below for 5'2 or 5'3 and that they are perfectly fine, healthy and look great and have had many guys after them (whilst I don't).

I have politely told them that they are not fat, and I mean what I say. Still, they don't stop it and they kept going on diet for say a month or so and go into such habits. What should I do? And has anyone felt the way that I do? :'(

PS: I also hope some users here would be careful with their words because saying things like what my friends say can be very inconsiderate and hurt other people's feelings.

Updates

+1 y

Forgot to add: I don't comment or say anything about people who are thin or fat because I understand people may get upset due to certain past or conditions that they are facing, psychologically, mentally or physically

[proudtexasgirl]

If you can't just ignore their comments, then confront them. They are obviously seeking attention. Explain to them that it really bothers you when they talk about their weight because they are obviously NOT overweight, and it puts you in a really awkward position. Not to mention how much it hurts your feelings. They need to get over themselves. Maybe if you explain to them that it's uncomfortable and hurtful for them to go on and on about their weight when you have medical problems that really do effect your weight. I would tell you to be blunt and no-nonsense with them, but I get the impression that you aren't that kind of person. Just explain to them that you have medical conditions that prevent you from being able to lose weight and when they talk about how supposedly "fat" they are, it really makes you feel like crap.

[Asker]

thanks for coming up with the word that really describes the situation: "awkward". It is awkward sometimes. Sigh. I don't understand why people are so full of themselves, but I can't help it if they are like that :/ Do you think confrontation will really work? I've thought of it before, but at the same time, I felt that it might be a waste of time too.

[Asker]

oh and I don't feel bad about them saying these stuff all the time, but it can get to me sometimes, Maybe I ought to be stronger

[proudtexasgirl]

Well it can't hurt can it? You've tried being nice, and I understand how impossible it can be sometimes to ignore it when people are CONSTANTLY going on about it. If they are your friends, they will recognize how hurtful they are being and also realize that you aren't just "fat;" you have medical conditions. If they continue on about it after you talk to them, I'd serious reanalyze who my friends are. That would be extremely inconsiderate of them.

[Asker]

nah, it wouldn't hurt to say it. It's just that I wonder whether old habits die hard, that's all.

many people in the world are as how I've put it, whether friends of not. sometimes, I even wish that girls especially stop thinking so much about whether they are thin or not when they are already fine. I can understand people wanna strike for excellence/"perfection", but there's a option of keeping it mum rather than showing off.

Anyway, you made me feel better. Thanks for understanding :)

[proudtexasgirl]

I feel ya. I hope it works out for you, and I'm glad you feel better. :)

[Asker]

Thanks :)

As I mentioned in another comment, they also like to use the fact that I have bigger boobs than them and more sexier than them kinda arguments against me whenever I say they look fine and alright. I don't know why they just like to use comparison sorta stuff against me. Sometimes I joke about it, sometimes it gets quite annoying.

Probably guys will think these are some sorta joke, but it can get frustrating after a while and we just don't know what else to do :/ SIIIIIIIIIGH. girls -_______-

[proudtexasgirl]

Haha believe me, I know what you mean. And on the flip side, it's equally as awkward when someone who IS overweight keeps talking about their weight because then what do you say? Yea, you are fat? Or lie and tell them they aren't? People, or more specifically girls, should just get over it. Everybody has great qualities and EVERYBODY has insecurities.

[Asker]

I know that you know and you understand :) What I've noticed is that no matter how much I tell them how good (or how bad they are), most of them aren't seeking for compliments but rather for approvals. it's a NEVER ending chain. Sometimes I even wonder how their boyfriends put up with them O.O

I actually think some of them really looked much better when they put on weight, although not all of them. We need a subject specially for girls on this in school, lol.

[AliceMcKay]

I had to deak with this and still have to once in a while. My friends and I have like this rule (kinda unspoken). I can't complain I'm fat in front of my friends who is "bigger" than me, another can't complin about her boob size, because they are bigger than mine. If they do we say that they have no right to say that, or I'll say something like you wanna switch with me then. It just works out better. Or else it is really insulting.

I had a friend who said that, or that their ugly. And she was neither. I tried to reasure her but after the 20th time it get annoying. So if she said she was ugly I would say yeah, you are. It is just easier that way. she knew I didn't mean it because I already told her 100x.

I would just confront them. Tell them how you feel, they might not realize what they are doing.

[Asker]

something worth the consideration.

speaking of boobs, I remembered when I told them they are not fat and looking gorgeous, they kept attacking me back that I have big boobs and being sexy and all. I try to joke around about it sometimes, but it gets really annoying sometimes because they kept using "comparison" stuff against me.

[AliceMcKay]

lol, I mean when a friend who has C boobs says hers are too small, that is annoying when you are an A.

[AliceMcKay]

@ update, I know what you mean, I don't call people fat ramdonly. But there is a point where it gets ridiculous, I mean it is hurting you too.

[Anonymous]

no comment - have to say something bad - but I can't - people's feelings. ppfftt

[Anonymous]

I'm overweight and trying to lose now for medical reasons. The people I hang out with are thin and theyre actually complaing about it --- one of em is 5'2'' 45kg ----- and are eating more and we actually joke about our own weight problems :). They know I'm trying to lose the weight and they've never once made me feel bad about my weight, even before I wasn't trying to lose.

Then there are also those who have reached their weight goal and would tease me and make me feel bad about myself. And last there are those that you said who are thin and still diet.

(-.-!) If they'd ask me how they look, Id usually tell them this: "you look fine. You've got a flat stomach. If that's fat, then what am I? a pregnant whale?" then we'd just laugh it off...

But if they get annoying, I usually ignore them or as much as possible not go in the comfort room or anywhere with lots of mirrors with them :)

[raineydaygurl]

my best friend does it all the time and she's petite and 115 pounds and she whines every time I see her and it's like okay your fat so what,does that make me obese? and it really bugs me cause I've struggled with my weight my whole life. she's one of those people who likes her friends to feel inferior to her.now when she says it I just roll my eyes and let her go on with it.

[Asker]

My best friends complains a lot too. but she won't mean how your best friend does. That's not very nice of us, sorry to say this. But have you reconsidered whether she's really your best friend?

One of my best friends is 5'7 to 5'8 but weighs about 120lbs, looking very thin and still wants to be thinner. Another of my best friend, about 5'3 to 5'4 went through a only eating vege and apples phase that she became very thin and didn't have menstrual bleeding for about 8 months O.O Sometimes it's

[Asker]

tough being with them, listening to what they say, when I personally have my own problems to deal with. but thankfully they aren't so much of the sort which I mentioned in my question.

[raineydaygurl]

wow that's really unhealthy of them :(. I've spent 7 years telling her she's beautiful and thin and that guys agree cause she gets hit on all the time. but after her 8 years of putting me down i.ve decided I'm tired of trying to boost her self esteem even higher.i hate being a jerk ,but I don't know what else to say.

[kaythanksbye]

It's annoying as f***. I have a friend who's a few pounds bigger then me and says she's fat and I make her feel fat. It's like seriously? Don't be blind

[Asker]

lol I used that tactic before. they all need specs XD another tactic I've used is that they were gonna get so thin that I can't see pass them through sticks, lol.

[Asker]

@gag_changed_my_name: but they are merely 16 -.- people still change a lot physically after 16, lol.

[Laurie182]

Two words for them ATTENTION SEEKING! :)

[Ezmotts]

Start calling them fat.