I have no respect for people who want to be "rated"!

I have no respect for people who want to be "rated"!

Now that I have your attention, here's a serious question to ask yourself: How is validation from a stranger on the internet really going to help you? People who ask for ratings are either self absorbed, or have ZERO self-esteem, in my opinion.

Most of them do this because they let other people affect their own self worth, or they think they can't get a date simply because they are "ugly". Well let me tell you, the reason you can get a date is your attitude!

It doesn't matter how "hot" you are; if you act like a selfish pig, a disrespectful child, a liar, or a whore, no one will want to take you seriously, unless they're getting something else out of it.

No one wants to date a depressing downer either. If you don't love yourself, and you spend your time believing you are ugly and worthless, how do think they will feel after investing their time and feelings into you? They'll feel like a worthless failure too, because you keep telling them you are miserable, even when they're standing at your side, trying to lift you.

Confidence plays a huge part as well. If you're too shy, quiet, and scared to speak up, how is anyone going to get to know you well enough to find out if they like you? Take a chance, and face your fears! This one is on you.

If someone pays you compliment, accept it, and believe it. You are not them, you cannot see what they see. Obviously they DO think you are worth a second look, and you have no right to tell them what they are allowed to believe.

If someone is with you, dating you, then obviously you are worth something, especially to them! Unless they are acting suspicious, and hiding things from you, stop digging and trying to figure out why they are with you. The answer is, they want you!

Sure they may look at other people who you think are better looking. That's normal human nature, and it doesn't mean anything. That other person may look hot on the outside, but they might be ugly inside.

I look at cheesecake, but I don't always eat it. I know it's bad for me, even though I get that short moment of pure bliss! The zuchini bread may not be as tasty, but it's still sweet and delicious, much better for me, and less likely to give me a heart-attack later on.

Your looks have nothing to do with the kind of person you are. Stop worrying about how "hot" you are, and just try to be a good person. That's the most desirable trait you can have.


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What Guys Said 23

  • or perhaps they are they're just curious how people perceive them and on this site they can do so in the presence of people with more objective opinions...

    I highly doubt most are asking for the reason I mentioned but I imagine some may. heck I may even ask just to sort of see what people perceive me as... although not likely haha

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  • Only self esteem people need to be rated. I know I m handsome so why should I need to other's opinion? Bullshit

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  • Someone rated me 6.5 after that i never post pictures or get myself rated
    That picture was badly taken tough.
    I have seen people rate some ugly people so high like 9 or 10 but so really attractive one gets 7 or 8 . getting yourself rated can even lower self esteem

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  • I think people need confident in stead of worrying their looks in front of others.

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  • My question is why would you respect anyone on this site when you don't know them? Similar to that, why would anyone care for your respect, when it makes no difference in their life (i. e. you mean nothing to them).

    You are assuming that your respect is somehow meaningful. It is not. At least, not to strangers.

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    • The title was nothing more than shock factor, which you'll see if you read the article.

  • sometimes i post pictures. i Do not seek validation but an honest assesment since hardly anybody is objective about themselves. people usually have either low self esteem or overblown egos. I just like to get some feedback i am genuinly interested i both nrgative Nd positive ones.

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    • See that I'm OK with, just title it like "What do you guys think?" and specify in the details something like, "Just wondering how this makes you feel./What comes to mind? etc".

  • My self esteem isn't great, and I think a lot of these questions come from genuine curiosity as to how I come across to people (I've never asked for a rate though). I think its ridiculous to use a sliding scale of numbers though.

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  • Sometimes yes sometimes no. I can smell a narcissist a mile away and the great looking people that ask the rate me questions are ridiculous yes.

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  • Like the article pic, beauty and the beast. I see myself as the beast and my magic rose is dying with time:( but um although I get what you saying I still don't judge people for seeking external comments about themselves. I need to see a dating coach for example so he can externally spot what my behaviours look like and can objectively give me advice on it so I can get dates. I want objective opinions on me.

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  • We humans are all made in our own identity and are good in ourselves. We really dont need another to tell us if we are.

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  • I rate your post a 5 out of 10, it may have been higher but it was too long and I didn't read it

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  • My self-esteem is low (only with respect to being in social/romantic situations), not because of my physical looks so much as my specific weaknesses as a person that make it evident that I was not designed to fare well socially and romantically and going through my childhood with very few friends, implicitly being made fun of, and never having made any progress with respect to dating or even merely interacting with girls at a more than superficial level.

    I can speak just fine to people on a daily superficial level, but cannot seem to make any actual friends let alone get any dates. Though, I am working on it and actually getting professional help, but I am just saying that this is the reason why my self-esteem is low (personal weaknesses, not so much physical ones). And again, when I say my self-esteem is low, I mean only with respect to my social and romantic life. My overall self-esteem as a person is decent. But if you isolate my social and romantic life, it's critically low.

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  • @dragonfly6516
    Serious question: Will you rate me?

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    • Even if I agreed, what would that accomplish? Best case scenario, I tell you you look good, but does that make you feel any better? Would you even believe that I actually think you look good, or would you think I'm only telling you what you want to hear, or being nice just to make myself look good? Why do you want to be rated? What kind if answer/information are you looking for?

    • I am just messing with you @dragonfly6516 because of your strong stance, so serious. =D

  • I don't have any problem with people doing that. I have self esteem problems so I can relate to why they would want to do that.

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  • Well I fall on one side of your story I have zero self esteem and it comes from years of being made fun of told your ugly and repulsive and most of it started when I was way younger so how am I to believe anything else especially when I had family members saying the same stuff

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    • People only say things like that when they're jealous, or if they can't control you. It's meant to break you down so that you'll do what they want, just so that you can feel loved by them. I would know, I've been where you are. My mother is the very definition of "emotionally abusive".

    • Well what if it was my sister that said these things

    • Family can hurt you worse than anyone else because they expect you to tolerate things that other people should never have to, simply because you're "family". They see the parts of you that you want to hide, and bad people will exploit that, blood or not.

  • I wish I was cheesecake and not zucchini bread haha

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    • Tasty and bad? LOL Cheesecake is a one night stand; Zucchini bread is worthy of a lifelong commitment. Does that sound better?

    • But I like cheesecake... haha don't worry, I'm just joking. Of course I want a lifelong commitment.

      Also, zucchini bread is gross. If I have to be some sort of bread, I wanna be banana bread haha

  • Most of the womens questions like that, I comment on, I basically just answer how you wrote this. "Why do you need validation from random people online". They usually reply with "because my boyfriend doesn't compliment me enough". Obviously, that's not a reason to come online asking for compliments from random strangers butttt, you have to sort of feel bad for them. I mean, on one hand, there is no "rule" that says you HAVE to compliment your girlfriend (if there is, show me and I will digress) but on the other hand, if she really does struggle from body image, maybe it will help her if we tell her she's OK. you'd have to ask yourself though... why isn't the boyfriend doing it? what is his problem, basically

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  • So we should have zero respect for people who have zero self-esteem? That's just what they need. (y)

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    • You missed the point. The title was only meant to draw people in. I want these people to have respect for themselves, and to realize that they do matter. Everyone matters in some way. Who or whatever put us here did that for a reason, and it's no one else right to tell you who or what you are/can be.

  • Oh you're missing out. It's a chance to say a flirty comment to someone, who while seeking some validation gives you a chance to charm her in the process. :)

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  • This articles sucks... an opinion of an individual who really have no proper understanding of why people ask for rating.

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What Girls Said 19

  • Yep. Preach!

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  • Reading this made me feel 100 times better about my boob size I've always hated them & still do there just so small & im 20 years old and I have no clevlege and I wish i had just there were more fuller and bc of this I don't like to wear bathing suits or anything that has to do with dealing with boobs showing I don't want them that big but at least more full i guess it's Bc im under weight & very thin :( :'( growing up I was always under weight that my mom would give me ensure to drink & help to keep me healthy and I still take it today but I gain the weight but it never shows and I hate I hate being so thin im only weigh somewhere in the 90's. And your right about guys respecting girls even though they have small boobs I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now and there's never a time were he judges me about it or anything so I guess he really cares about me

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  • Yes, it's true that goodness is "the most desirable trait you can have," in reality, people are much more shallow than that and do in fact want to have an attractive partner. In fact, I may go so far as to say that some people care about looks far more than personality, which is quite unfortunate.

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  • I think the reason people ask for a rating is because they think strangers will be more honest with them. I don't think even strangers are willing to tell the truth though. I haven't asked for a rating exactly, but I have been made fun of quite a bit for my looks.

    In my old blog, I wrote about my experience once with it. I had a lot of followers on it. The blog was mainly about reviewing trails I discovered and then walked. It wasn't anything exciting except for the people who are fellow hikers. One day I decided to actually write about a personal experience that happened to me because of my looks. I was feeling down about it.

    Many of my followers asked for a photo because they didn't believe I could be ugly. They said from following my writing they saw a beautiful person. At first I didn't, but people kept asking so I finally did. I put my photo up. I made sure it was an unedited photo of my normal self. Every single person told me I was beautiful. They told me that the people who called me ugly in real life were likely jealous.

    I don't think they were all honest. I think they just wanted me to feel better about myself. Maybe some of them were honest, but it's hard to believe when so many people offline tell me I am very ugly because I have a mans face instead of a womans.

    So I disagree that strangers don't lie. Although I've yet to actually see an ugly person when they post the rate me questions. Most are gorgeous and so I tell them honestly what I think.

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  • I agree asking for a rate is either low confidence or someone who wants attention. But i guess that's fine except if someone is rated lower than what they want to hear, they get upset or flip out.

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  • Validation from a stranger can be extremely helpful. Strangers don't care how you feel; they are unaffected by your reception of their opinion. Therefore they are more likely to be honest. Plus I've seen a lot of under 16s on here asking for rates and I don't see anything wrong with it at all--they're young and their perception of "self" is underdeveloped. Sometimes a confidence boost is good for their development. It doesn't mean they're self obsessed or that they have ZERO self esteem. It just means that they're normal.

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    • I agree, though people can become obsessed or rely on it too much.

  • We called it ego.

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  • I think some people do it out if fun and others do it probably cause they have low self esteem and don't have much confidence. But I must say those rate me questions do get annoying after a while. They need to quit caring about what other people think of them and learn to love themselves. We can't make them love themselves. Or maybe they're insecure or care to much about what other people think of them.

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  • The reason they ask a 'rate me ' question is because they can. It really is none of your business. Whether they do it cause they want validation from others (it could be they have low self esteem) or seek attention for whatever other given reason. I dont see why people like yo should stop them. It is a free world, they do it cause they can.

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  • some are fishing for compliments, those are the annoying type.

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  • These "rate me" questions do get pretty annoying after a while... I refuse to answer them!!
    I understand people have low self-esteem, but they have to learn how to stop caring what others think about them.

    Seeking validity from strangers isn't the way to go.

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  • You are the voice of reason.

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  • I agree, the way you put things at first is a bit harsh but it makes people keep reading.
    That cheesecake example was great by the way, but I still hope I'm not zucchini bread :P

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  • I completely agree with you on this. That is why I erased my previous Facebook account and made a new one, so that I can leave all those insecure, or attention seeking people away from me, and now I only have the friends I truly communicate with. Because, in my eyes, those guys and girls blindly fail to see a whole bunch of more important things everywhere around them, over and over again. They are not worth hearing about, neither I want them to dig about me. Life is not about looks, or about someone's opinion.. and whatever the comments bellow say, people should try to admit that they get interested whenever they get a notice that someone has approved/liked something of theirs.

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  • OMG your totally right. I may not have strangers rate me but friends do. When you put it this way you are absolutely right. God made us who we are. He didn't take opinions from all his friends. Thank you I needed to read this.

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  • My self esteem is shot to shit but even I don't ask for ratings but I get what you mean entirely

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  • People ask rate questions just because they want to know how attractive they are to others. Nothing wrong with that. Some are just curious or bored.
    Anyways, Not respecting someone for a reason like that is pretty stupid.. But I'm pretty sure they don't care if an internet stranger like yourself respects them or not.

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    • The title was only meant to draw you in. How can I judge someone that I don't know? If you read the post, you'd see that I want people to realize that looks aren't everything. When no two people like the same attributes, you're only opening yourself to people who will possibly give negative opinions, and you're literally asking for it.

  • I'm not sure why they would need your respect in the first place... They're internet strangers you'd never meet asking for you to rate their appearance, not asking for you to respect them. Just saying...

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    • You're right, but you misunderstood. The title was only meant for shock factor. I cannot judge someone that I don't know.

  • This made me laugh!
    Hun, not everyone is as strong as you! Be happy that you are.

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