• Ask
  • myTake

Why Do Girls Want to Get Married?

Starting at birth, our heads are filled with images of our wedding day.

Parents dream of seeing their little girl walking down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown. Even if we do find the cure for cancer, we better be married when we do it! While I'm sure parents equally dream of their sons eventually getting married, it is a bit less exciting to plan for the day they will finally get to wear that rented suit and patent leather shoes.

What naturally comes along with this pressure to get married is the guilt, particularly from our mothers, when we aren't yet wed. As we get older, the level of guilt is ratcheted up exponentially with each year that passes without a set wedding date. With every family gathering we attend without a "fiance", we are forced to endure a sort of Chinese Water Torture that involves hearing about every other relative or friend who is getting married soon.

"When it comes to the thought of going through life as a single woman, a chill shoots through our spines like ice was dropped down our shirts."

We must invent more creative and believable excuses to answer the inevitable, "When are you getting married?" question at parties. Like, "I want to finish my time in the Peace Corp first", or "I have a pact with my best friend that we will not get married before the other and she cannot find the right man." In addition, we are endlessly subjected to the hushed whispers of how we must be lesbians or just do not know how to cook.

Another thing to keep in mind is the constant barrage of images we see our entire lives which place us all on the inevitable path towards marriage. Barbie, the symbol of unattainable wealth, beauty, success, and happiness always looked her most beautiful in her long white wedding gown as she walked down the tissue constructed aisle in our backyard ceremonies to Ken, her handsome groom. Every book, television show, movie, or song that is marketed towards girls always focuses on falling in love, getting married, and living happily ever after.

Gogus olculeri

From Cinderella and Prince Charming, to Luke and Laura, to Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, we are inundated with the idea that we will never be truly happy until we find that perfect man and walk down the aisle. It is almost like some sort of cultist mind-control that has been ruling our destiny since we were old enough to say the words, "I Do."

While guys do not seem to think that these issues are that big of a deal, for girls the decades of pressure, guilt and marketing have taken their toll and we start to feel as if we are actually going to explode if we do not get married soon. This certainly does not apply to all women but it does apply to most.

Ultimately, we all just want to have that feeling of safety and security. Women today are capable of doing just about everything a man can do. We are doctors and lawyers and builders and athletes, but for some reason when it comes to the thought of going through life as a single woman, a chill shoots through our spines like ice was dropped down our shirts. Our minds drift back to our "old maid" Aunt Mary who everyone else felt sorry for. (Although in retrospect, she did seem happier than all the other aunts).

So remember, girls are not obsessed with getting married because we want to be. We are obsessed with it because that is what society expects from us. We are merely the victims of a lifetime of mind control and advertising dollars. So, give us a break and just propose already! It will make us all a little less stressed and our mothers happier too.

What Guys Said 22

  • imarriage is stupid

  • I wouldn't remarry again. I just want to find a nice girl to live with and then I'm happy. Marriage has a great deal of risk to it, and in today's times a marriage contract isn't necessary.

  • Did not see that ending coming lol. Whatever happened to people getting married because they love one another and want to spend the rest of their lives with one another?

  • Well being a guy , some say its sad but I dream of getting married and plan it out and how special it will be in the same way as most girls dream about it. I cannot wait untill I meet the right girl :)

  • So it goes with society, women are abandoning family-related things and are just pursuing their things. The result, the destruction of men and that good ol' thing we called "family."

    So what do people with this kind of mind want to achieve? Just be a single woman forever? Or marry, have kids with a man you want, then divorce him? I mean, not even men ever had this kind of thinking. I'm sorry, but in America, women were always capable of becoming whatever they wanted to be. Amelia Earhart e.g.

  • Interesting article, don't sit down and be the victim so willingly though.

  • Why girls want to get married?

    I would no doubt say ''Eternal Love''.

  • I definitely agree that the pressure comes from the parents. Biologically speaking a person's life isn't complete until they have grandchildren. (Until they've raised a child that can procreate on his/her own). For girls, that goal is so much more potent!

  • Marraige is over rated anyway. I think people should just work on being happy and if it happens great, if not, well that's great too.

  • Wow I was cheering along with that right up until the finishing sentence...I really don't know if I want to get married...ever. I mean dudes get the whole "oh he doesn't want to commit" thing when we say things like that. But truth be told I'd totally love to be in a committed relationship with that one special girl for the rest of my life. It's just being married puts so much more on a person. If me and my SO need some space I want that to be possible without all the legal drama.

  • Don't women want to have kids?

  • All of my married friends tell me that they envy me and then ask when I'm going to get married and join them in Hell. If that doesn't keep a man single then consider what my friends tell about arguements and disagreements: "You can be right, or you can be happy. It's your choice". I'll stick to bachelorhood for a while longer thanks.

  • Oops didn't see the last paragraph. Hmmm. So the point is that it's all the pressure is unfair, the magazines, and financial side of it causes bad side effects, but hurry up and propose anyway.. hmm. Hence my problem. Somebody above said marriage is "the only true way you can show you love someone". Divorce rates? My life experience has been different. Some of the happiest couples I have seen (envied) have lived with each other for years, acted as a couple, without marraige.

  • I need to find a girl/woman like you. I hate the institution of marriage. I think it fails on so many levels and yet it is expected. I worry that I will meet the right person, and she will be dead set on getting "married" and my heart will break into pieces.

    I want a gay relationship. By that I mean that being gay breaks the society norms, and it becomes less about following outdat traditions and customs and more about two people caring for each other. I want a straight version of that

  • This article doesn't mention the REAL reason girls want marriage: ALIMONY. They can marry some guy, then after 2 1/2 years divorce him and take half of what he owns (even if he owned it before he ever knew her) AND half of what he'll make THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

    Marriage is a bullsh*t concept that only worked in the old days because women had no rights and couldn't own property so they had to marry a man to survive.

  • I hate it when asked why I am not married yet. Its really no ones business but my own that I chose to remain single and have yet to meet that women who I know who is the "one" for me. I think marriage doesn't work in todays society as its not taken seriously. I have friends who are married and they seem happy and content and good for them. Then I have friends who aren't and they are enjoying life to the fullest and don't even think about marriage but do wonder about it.

  • Nice try! But I still believe you are the crazy one! ;) lol

  • "[girls] are merely the victims of a lifetime of mind control and advertising dollars" - you are then saying that girls are weak and men are strong. now if you want to admit that, despite equal worth, there IS a big difference between men and women, and that a lot of old-school chivalrous things still apply, then fair enough - I'll agree with you. but if women are the self-actualised independent creatures they keep saying they are, then they should rise above 'advertising dollars' and social crap

  • "hi my name is such and such...will you marry me" hahahaha

    also. check out the song "mind control" by tantric. might help you better with this kind of thing

  • And by all fake I mean that marriage is built on a house of cards. Men will never get the amount of sex they want, as women withhold sex to try to make their man better than their girlfriends'. Women constantly gossip and compare themselves to one another... A man is just another chip on the table they use to make each other jealous. Men are no saints... we care about sex, not so much about the women... as a women gets older and unattractive the marriage becomes more and more strained.

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 30

  • because they think the only alternative to being married is being single. Very far from the truth. you can happily live with someone without marrying them, and without the pressure of tolerating the bad times, just because of the "vows"

  • Don't do what society expects you to do. Do what you feel is right.

  • #obsessed not phrased! Lol

  • Don't know. I'm a girl and have never been phrased with marriage, I find the whole concept scary

  • (continued ...) feel like they are running out of time. Many also feel sad and neglected, because it seems like all their friends have found true love, except them.

    Well, in my case, I have always dreamed about the 'fairy-tale' wedding and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I want to take care of my husband, have children and live what I consider a fulfilled life. I still wanna have a career and job , that's why I'm just waiting to graduate college to get married (already engaged)

  • To a certain extent I do believe what the article says. I can certainly say that in really catholic countries like Brazil, girls are expected to get married. The pressure is usually created by the girls themselves, usually when they are around thirty and unmarried, because they have not fulfilled the 'task' that society required of them. The pressure is also build up by the fact that most girls at this age are married and seem happy with their husband and possibly children, and also because they

  • I truly want to get married some day- not because of stupid media pressure, my family/friends/mother, or because of Barbi. I want to get married to have a day so everyone can celebrate that I have found the love of my life (I know you don't need a special day to do that,everyday should be a celebration, but I want one anyways) and so I can have that one dream day of my partners and my life that will only get to happen once. It's the closet thing to a fairytale that a woman can experience.

  • (sorry ran out of space). If people are pushed into marriage then it is the wrong meaning of marriage (which I hate, marriage is for life). I respect women that don't want to get married but at the end of the day, if I didn't want to, I'd stand up for myself, and just say marriage isn't for me. Even if there is guilt, your parents etc. should respect you for your decision.

  • Liked the article however I would have to disagree. I was never pressured to get into a realtionship, get married etc. I want to be married, but that is because I want security and I think its the only way you can show how much you love that other person. And society doesn't expect us to get married. I know tons of older people that aren't married. And I wouldn't say obessed with getting married, people just want to get married more then others. And its a shame people are pushed into marriage.

  • Who are Luke and Laura? And is this article some kind of joke? Seriously.

  • But it's commonplace that every girl feel about it. we live in an entire society, how can we ignore what people talk about us?

  • My-uh-"Aunt Mary" is actually the one who is putting the most pressure on me to be with someone, to the point where she said I'm not allowed to bring a friend to the family Christmas party if it's not a man. I do have to admit I have often thought of my ideal white wedding, but until recenlty when family has started pressuring me to "bring home a man" and friends have semi-jokingly said that I will be a cat lady soon if I don't get dating, it hadn't really bothered me that I haven't dated.

  • Marriage sucks balls.

  • So I don't know what happened durring your child hood but my mom always said to be happy and sucessful before I even considered marriage(other wise she will kill me). I think this next generation has been more focused on jobs and careers than boys and babies. Marriage is a serious thing and moms preasure should not be a factor in the decision. Chill out on the wedding thing if it happens awsome if not, there are better things to do anyway. ps do most women really feel all this preasure?

  • Great article... until the last paragraph. So, not only are women NOT expected to fight back against massive peer-pressure and mind control, men ARE expected to give into it as well.

    Ladies this is OUR problem, not theirs.

  • I don't want tio get married.

  • I never dreamt of a white wedding and didn't think I'd get married. I didn't stress over it. Met a good guy--we married in a court house. Women should have the right to choose, just as men do and not stress or be labelled.

  • Eh, I suppose this applies to some girls, maybe most. I never dreamed of a white wedding, though. As a little girl, I dreamed of making piles of money and changing the world. I hope more women grow to focus on things other than walking down the aisle.

  • Am of a marriageable age but never once have I thought of getting married. I don't daydream or obsess about it either. If anything, I agree with the stressful bit from the mum, yes. But I rather do more important things like earning tons of cash, buying my own luxe house, driving a sports car, studying subjects I've always wanted to and working in my dream jobs. Travelling and hanging out with friends and family. That' enough to satisfy me.

    I totally agree with Marisa above.

  • I want to get married till I'm financially stable and he's stable in his job too. But right now I don't have a boyfriend. Also be with the person that I love. I don't believe in a big wedding. It's just way too expensive. I'm kinda leaning towards a small wedding or married at court.

  • More from Girls

Join the discussion