I am so upset. He was everything I wanted in a man. He never struck me as a sexist guy ever. I've known this guy since Middle School. He was my best friend and lover. Now I can't help but feel cheap that he expect me to take his name. I dont even think I can marry him anymore. What do you girls and guys think? Is he a sexist?
Most Helpful Girl
I don't necessarily think it's sexist but if my boyfriend insisted on me changing my last name to his then I would feel hurt, it would feel like my feelings on keeping my last name mean nothing to him. I could never marry or be with a guy who puts a last name before my feelings.
I could understand a guys point of view/feelings about wanting a girl to change her name but he needs to also understand your feelings on wanting to keep yours.
I would honestly see it as a red flag if a man insisted on you changing your name and didn't bother to understand or respect your side first. If he's dictating a name before marriage, imagine what other petty bullshit he will find important after marriage.
People need to stop doing what everyone else tells them to do, it's just a name in the end, it means nothing and it says nothing about your relationship.
I hate when people say "it means you two are connected and a family now". No it doesn't, you two being together, respecting each other and loving each other makes a marriage, not a shared name. And if you can't understand that, then you're probably not ready for marriage.3
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