Please Help ! I'm actually in a dilemma now and would appreciate any kind of advice in this regard.
I have a best friend who is a guy and he's not just another guy-friend for me. We both actually understand each other so well that we can read each others' exact thoughts every time ! We call this our very own "special-connection". We have known each other for 3 and 1/2 years and this "special-connection" started a year ago. It still baffles both of us as to why this sudden telepathy has emerged between us and neither of us share the same with any of our other friends (and I should mention an incident wherein I dreamed of him falling sick 1 morning and by afternoon he texts me telling he is down with flu! Weird! ) .On the other hand, he can easily pick out when I'm sad even though I try pretending otherwise( I need to mention that I am a good actress) . We do care for each other sincerely.
Ok,so by now I hope you have got a picture of our friendship. But recently he has started having feelings for me and yesterday asked me if I was in love with him. He feels that we are since we share this "Special-connection" and he wants me to decide if we need to take this relationship to the next level - that of being in a committed relationship. He was sure it was love for him but I have no such feelings towards him. I mean, I do not see him in that manner and I didn't know how to respond yesterday so I have asked him time to think over it. I also told him that we need to handle this maturely i.e. in case if I respond in negative I told him that I wanted us to remain as we are now.
Now how do I exactly go about telling him that I am not in love with him. He is a gem-of-a-friend and I don't ever want to hurt his feelings..(But I cannot go to the extent of pretending to be in love with him so as to not hurt him) nor ruin our current friendship. So please help me and give me suggestions on how to do this in the right manner without being rude.
Most Helpful Guy
First of all you need to realize that no matter what happens now things are never going to remain how they were. Even if you say you just want to be friends with him he's going to be hurt that you rejected him (no matter how nicely you word it or what excuse you give). Even though it seems rude/mean/etc I believe honesty is the best approach. You have to tell him how you're feeling. Don't make the mistake of trying to be nice and just stringing him along when you really have no intention of ever being in a romantic relationship with him. (You see that a lot on here, someone doesn't want to be rude so they inadvertently string the other person along making the situation even worse.)0