Suicidal thoughts what do I do?

[Killjoy182]

I have been so down I have a really weirded appetite like I will eat something so small and feel full and when I eat dinner (I eat alone in my room ) I just throw all the food away I flush it down the toilet, because I'm not myself anymore I'm not even happy my smile is faked my friends don't notice no matter how I try to talk to them about it I mean they are good friends but it doesn't click with them and my family they don't notice I mean they know I get bullied and are helping but they don't notice I don't want loads of attention in fact I hate it but I'm always helping them and putting on a smile for them acting like I'm okay for THEM I mean I've lost it I can't bring myself to enjoy the things I used to enjoy such as art and drawing and being social all I can think of is ending my life I mean to me it would be better that's how I feel and I'm always on the verge of breaking down I can't take it anymore I mean what can I do I'm so god damn lost !!!

[centigrade]

*BIG hug*

The first thing you need to do is accept you have a "problem" and posting here, as little as it may seem, is a good sign because it shows you have acknowledged it as a problem and have taken the first step to getting help.
Now, even if you don't want to, you need to open up and let someone close to you, someone you can really trust, come into you life and help you untangle the wires. I mean ask them to go to your room and have a heart to heart with them, no fake smiling. You might can do it alone, but having that person there to talk to, to cry on, to just spill your guts about everything to will help enormously. I'm not the one to say go find medical help or a psyc. You need to find that one person and just let it all flow out. EVERYTHING! Don't hold back anything, words or tears, because when we see someone in pain or suffering it just clicks in most of us to help and that is what your person will do. Your not eating right and feeling suicidal may be because you are bottling up all these feelings and your body can't handle the stress of having all these things on your mind so it does not know what to do.

Please, please, please look for that one person and you will find them and together you will overcome this. People care about you wayyyyy more than you could ever think, hell I teared up writing this for you, so please, I begggg you, talk to them.

[Killjoy182]

Thank you I will take your advice and talk to someone

[centigrade]

Thank you. For most helpful but more importantly for getting help! Please know I'd be happy to lend an ear if you need me to :)

[Sissy_girlyyyyyyyyyy]

No storm lasts forever, so as hard as things are, please hold on cause things WILL get better. God loves you, your family loves you so dearly. There's so many people who care about you.

If things get worst you'll have to talk to your mom about your feelings, you're her angel, she will find a way to rescue you, I promise.

[Anonymous]

Get a boyfriend he will put you on the right foot.