How to help a parent that has suicidal thoughts?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I wrote lots of things and then deleted.

She was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 2 years ago and she was getting treatment until about 8 months ago, she moved to a village to take care of my grandma, grandma has dementia and mom has stopped taking a medicine. Mom’s other siblings ditched their responsibility of caring about their mom and it’s only her and my grandma.

Now her thoughts of “giving up” have returned.

I need to figure how to help her from this far.

Updates

10 mo

She told me she’s planning to keep taking a medicine and when I asked her about that, she opened up about her depressive thoughts. I talked with her, cheered her up and helped her plan an appointment. She’s also willing to go to get a professional help. I think that’s pretty nice. I think I’ll need to contact her more often and make sure she feels needed, heard and less hopeless.

[molonski2]

Wow , now that is a very difficult question , you can only deal with what you can deal with , I can kind of understand mums despear seeing as where she has come from and seeing what she has to endure , while at the same time thinking " Is this what I have to look forward to " ? Not greatly accepted so much over there but she really needs to see an empathetic , qualified phycologist , and I think all you can do is try and lead her in that direction , while also encouraging and stressing to her that you are still here , we all need to be needed , and you need her too , but you will support her , in every endeavour , its a really really delicate situation that sits on a knife-edge.

I really feel for you , and probably think I'm not qualified to answer , but I know people , and you somehow have to turn these thoughts around.

[molonski2]

The update sounds extremely positive , I think that covers all bases.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@lafemmefatale_1 That's a tough one without being there. I lost a good friend because I wasn't there so... i'm probably not the best person to weigh in on a good course of action. Get her help in something. Convince her that you need HER to teach you... how to run a marathon / how to best cook secret family recipe / how to start a company... whatever she can help you with, and ideally her better than anyone else. GIve her a reason not to punch out until that's done, then hopefully you can get her to a better place while you're buying time.

[kylee2437]

That’s usually how suicide thoughts go. Most people have suicide thoughts. And they will linger and heighten depending on circumstances , how someone is taking care of themselves and different situations. Be there to support but also continue to insinuate she does need help.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@kylee2437
DO "most people have suicidal thoughts" really? I've never heard that.

[kylee2437]

@BoopBoopBeep so you are saying you never thought or ending it all before? I find that hard to believe

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks, she knows she needs help, I think she told me that, because she knows I’ll support her to go. But the problem is timing, she has been through a lot lately.

I’ll support her financially to get the best treatment, I’ll also try to support her emotionally, but I don’t know what else to do from here, I’ll call her more often.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@kylee2437
No. I love my life. I mean even in the times it sucks... THIS episode sucks, but big picture? My life is awesome. Every day I'm not getting shot at is a great day, and the days i AM getting shot at... well... so far I've been a better shot than them... THAT is a pretty good day. When they send more people it's kind of flattering that i don't just warrant some rookie recruit. I wake up to a gorgeous view first thing in the morning and last thing at night I have wonderful rescue kittens curled up beside me, families of raccoons that bring their babies to hang out on the deck. Weekends? Wow don't get me started on those.

Jan 1990 I had a massive head injury from a car wreck that pretty much formatted my hard drive. Lost all my memories before that, so can't say if I have EVER had those thoughts, but I haven't had them since 1990 at least.

I'm really sorry if you have them... and if "most people do"... that's really horrible. I wish they could have rescue kittens and baby raccoons visit them. I was really bummed when they told me last year I was dying because I thought of my rescue kittens being confused why I wouldn't be around to play with them anymore. I thought man this is such a great life, I'd really like to get some more of it.

[kylee2437]

@BoopBoopBeep but that’s the thing, that’s the difference of someone that won’t end their life. They see value in it in some kind of way, and some people just need more guidance than others to dig up that good part of their life that they aren’t seeing in front of them.

[BoopBoopBeep]

No I get the "why" part. I've known a great many people who were suicidal, at least in the end. It's the frequency part that was shocking to me, if it's true.

[kylee2437]

@BoopBoopBeep you have to take into account how many people in this current generation have current depression, anxiety etc problems

[BoopBoopBeep]

@kylee2437
We're going to need a lot more kittens...

[kylee2437]

@BoopBoopBeep my kitty definitely saves my depression

[BoopBoopBeep]

@kylee2437
They're great aren't they? @lafemmefatale_1 how about getting your mom a kitten?

[Agape93]

One thing I was told, bad as it sounds, let her know if she ever does it, others will die too.

But bad as it sounds, there's. Ultimately nothing you can do to stop it. If one decides to die, they'll do it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

She hasn’t decided, she told me she wants to keep getting her treatment.

[Agape93]

If she's fighting still, she should be ok.

[dynamicyandere]

I believe the best thing to do is be a very supportive and empathetic daughter and love her like only a daughter can.


As for the professional help, that’s very good that she’s seeking that.


Having a qualified mental health professional through this would be good, along with your enduring and attentive support.


I wish you two the best and for her recovery. 🪴

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

🤍🤍🤍

[MORPHEUS_12]

Food for thought. Being a caregiver, your mom could lack the coping skills to deal with her carrying for her mom. Perhaps you could lighten her burden by giving her a break from time to time.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am in a different country. Thousands of kilometers away. Her sisters feel happy their mom is not their burden anymore, my mom is the only one taking care of her. She also has no time for herself or for working. She feels depressed and hopeless.

[love_conquers_lust]

I've had experience with suicidal relativrs, of which I don't feel like sharing the details here right now. Always trust life.

I'm dealing with a relative in hospice care right now. I like to debate politics with him. He and I are on the same wavelength. It gets his juices flowing, trying to massage those folds in his brain. Treat him as if there is nothing wrong at all. It makes him more lively.

You want to help her, call her. Beware, she may not remember you as her condition deteriorates. It takes patience dealing with the elderly.

[Jazzy54]

If you’re in the US, please call or text 988 on her behalf. If you’re not, contact your local emergency department. Don’t wait. Do this immediately. Best wishes and I hope your mom gets the help she needs. 🙏🏽

[ArrowheadSW]

Any reason why she stopped her medication? Politely but firmly try to get her back into treatment perhaps. Sorry to hear about this. It is rough.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think she stopped, because she thought she was getting better, she was at a better period of her life, better able to control her emotions.

But she has met some difficult unresolved life situations and got depressed again.

[boggboss]

This is the thing u yourself can't help her no longer feel this way u can do your best to show her life wouldn't be better without her but she will need professional help

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

She knows she needs a professional and told me she wants to go as soon as one of her siblings come to take care of my grandma temporarily. Her siblings don’t care and aren’t coming any time soon.

[boggboss]

Not much more u can do then unfortunately

[Sparkie460]

The only way that you can help her is to get her to a doctor. She has to get back to taking medication.

[Sparkie460]

You should keep in contact with her so she knows you care

[Gent207-2]

There is a song YouTube called Please Don't Kill Yourself - you should send it to her

[Alex-Snow]

There is a National suicide hotline. Google the number and call it and ask for advice from an expert

[msc545]

She needs professional help. What medicine is she taking?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yes, she knows she needs it, she asked me to help her arrange an appointment. She no longer takes a medicine. She was prescribed Buspiron and used to take it last year. She’s going to go to an appointment next week or so.

[msc545]

ok good

[Christoff92]

Play some relax music audio Soundtracks. That should do the trick. Hopefully 😊

[justabuddy]

Is their a doctor or therapist that could call in once on a while, or stop by?

[justabuddy]

I hope everything is going ok.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks, everything is okay.

[collie22]

Get some help from a professional