What is a role model to you? Better stated, when you were a young man or a young woman who did you look up to and why did you look up to them? For me, of course the would be "list" could be quite large, as I, like all of us, went from child to adult (age wise dependent of course) but I seem to recall different points which included:
.... and the list of meaningless heroes goes on. However, I am not talking about any fantastical ideas that children have about defending the country that I love, having super powers, or anything that sparks the young mind to dream and hope about a future they want to achieve in playing baseball in the majors. No... I am speaking about the true role model. The one you watched day in and day out and through those daily sights you were, in a manner of speaking, molded.
For me, I watched a Father rise early in the morning only to never (literally) miss a day of work, practiced patience, and never once (ever... not even one time) shirked his duty as a Father be it through assuring his kids were safe from dangers, to assuring we knew right from wrong, to showing me, through actions, what it is to be a man. He wasn't my friend, he was my Father. He pissed me off at times (looking back he was right of course and I was in the wrong), and yet never once (not even one time.. ever), despite anything and everything, not once, missed a single sporting event in my entire life. That includes football, baseball, basketball and wrestling as a kid and then football, wrestling and baseball through high school, to baseball throughout my undergraduate years of college. Not once.... ever.
Looking back you have to understand that is an unfathomable amount of time. He was retired military and then retired civil service but mellow, kind but steadfast. Hell, even now in the prime of my life and someone who was very well trained in both the military and out in terms of handling myself and he is still the only man that I know that, to this day, one gaze, even as an old man, a mere gaze of "stop.... now" would cause me to pause. That is not a demand of respect, that is a command of respect through presence, personality, and leading by example not by talking but by doing. That... that is what a real man is to his son and for any of you other guys fortunate enough to have had a Father such as that, you know exactly what I mean. It is difficult to truly put it into words even for someone who has written many articles, stories, and blogs throughout his life. We (people in my shoes - you know who you are) simply know what it is, know how it feels, know the respect we have, and also strive and have striven through our lives to assure that legacy moves forward (as it should).
This is not to leave you women out by any means as you too had/have your own role model, most likely your Mother. It is well known knowledge that the son often takes the lead of the Father and the daughter takes the lead of the Mother. I simply cannot explain the Mother/Daughter dynamic because, even through my vast training into the human mind and human dynamic, I am a man, you are a woman and I will never truly know that dynamic as you do and I would be a fool to act like I do. Point being, my above point about my Father is not leading into a "nah, nah" segment by leaving you out (women) but merely I am speaking on what I know personally.
I prefaced with the above to lead to my main point and something that has, drastically, damaged both young men and women through this modern era and that is the oft break down of the family dynamic. Now let me first say that not having both a Mother and a Father does not fully guarantee anything just as it doesn't doom you in any manner. At the end of the day, we still put our own shoes on and we still make our own choices, and yet, there is a clear and monumental connection to children going down specific routes without the role of one parent, or both. I had to have my Mother because it was crucial that, through my normal youthful rage, I had a calming influence. I had to have my Father because I needed someone to put me in my place, man to man, to show me the right way men handle their business without grudge or giving a shit what anyone thinks. Confidence... the two sided coin produced by nature and by nurture but, at the same time, the two headed coin of two parents working in unison to give their children the best chance possible to surpass them. I am not a parent as of yet but I can tell you, right now, that despite the massive wealth my parents accumulated and everything I have added on to it... that means nothing if I fail to provide for my future kids the same secure, safe, trust laden, etc, environment that I had. I will have failed.
So what does ALL this mean? What is my large med111 riddle in the phrases with this that I normally add? To be honest with you, I pose you a question. Actually I will lead with a statement. In my line of work I do a lot of research. Hell, believe it or not, to know the human mind takes just as much knowledge about real world events as it does about the multiple firings of neural connective tissues and reading specific signs people give and words they state while connecting the dots. Why? Well that's simple. How the hell could I know the swift and often immediate changes taking place within my world if I don't? I (obviously) couldn't or, better stated, wouldn't be able to.
Let's start with women for this round. Who are your role models outside of your main role model or, plainly stated, the person you take after in your behaviors and direction? For those of you who know me already, I don't need to explain myself as you already know, but for those who don't - a heads up - I am all for people being treated as people, fairly. What I am not behind is the gathering around specific damaged individuals who portray themselves as something they are not, gain acclaim with like minded (oft depressed) people based on mutual events that have caused said depression.
Laci Green (is this who a depressed person should look up to? Even to the lay person does she appear stable?):
... is one of the, unfortunately, most well known radical feminists (which dishonor the actual and original course but that is another "take" if I feel the desire) on Youtube admitted this past month to attempted to commit suicide twice, being depressed her entire life and the self loathing goes on and on. This individual, likely, doesn't connect to you, the 25 year old woman who is likely in the "I know the bullshit when I see it" phase of your life but, rather, to the young teen girl who just had her breakup, or the girl who just found out Johnny likes someone else, or, best yet, the young woman who is fighting the decisions of the most difficult portion of her young life. Make no mistake ladies, ages 16-24 is the most difficult portion for many reasons (same for men on this). We are both finding out what we want to do, what type of man/woman we will become, who we truly are, who we can trust, can we trust ourselves, and, most of all, what mistakes will haunt us and what won't. Laci Green, the adult woman and man hating individual who feels men who open doors as a courtesy are sexist feels that girls at 15 can decide their sexual destiny and do not need anyone to watch out for them. The same person who feels that fact should be replaced with automatic belief in terms of rape accusations thus placing the burden on the man to prove his innocence in a civilized society which values fact and evidence and not the ever so crucial "liar, liar, pants on fire" accusation (from either side). The same person who, again, is an admitted life long suicidal thinking, depressed, C2 medicated, and admitted self loathing individual.... that person.... I say again, that person is reaching a monumental amount of young women who are currently finding their way, in the hardest portion of their life already, highly probable that they (the young girls) just had a bad event take place which caused them to seek out advice on the f'ing internet of all places and so they find.... her (and there are others) because, like anyone at that age, we are awed by the preceived notion of connection. Think about that for a moment - think hard as to what I mean - both sexes by the way. Why would a young man... or a young woman need said "connection"? What has changed?
To you young women out there... she is not a role model... those like her are not role models.... they aren't your friends.... they have two goals... the first is financial and the second is to mask their own mental illnesses with seeking acceptance through the approval of others to form the very connection they lacked and created the result. Consider these words. Every decision we make, every time we think it's cool to sleep with two more people because Sally Rottencrotch....
(ie: This wondrous member of society recently, in public, who had a train ran on her and is now bragging about it and eating a cucumber.... think she had a role model? Do you, honestly, buy the "I don't mind" routine? In other words: Sally isn't a good role model and a product of exactly what I am getting at. Do you see this story ending well?):
.... said it was "cool", every time we listen to the distorted ramblings of someone who, for all intents and purposes, should be within the protected confines of a place to get her the care she needs based on her admissions.... every single time we give them the time... we weaken not just our stance for the future but we also weaken ourselves. The descent to being apathetic... the descent to self loathing and the descent to living a life with absolutely no direction is incredibly slow, takes years, and it is based on small decisions, seemingly small at the time, seemingly silly, seemingly "cool".... each and every decision we make either ascends us... or turns us into what we will become.
... and as the circle turns we come back to that is why Mom... and Dad, both... are so crucial and that is why we have seen such a ridiculously swift decline take place in the mere decade. How can a young woman gain that confidence and understanding of men if she has no Father figure? How can she respect herself and know, without a shred of doubt, that not a single successful, handsome and worthwhile (the guys YOU WANT - that ALL women want) man will never give her the time of day if her Mother doesn't teach her a very simple truth or set of truths about what it is to be a woman? I know you won't admit this but I also know that many of you blame yourselves. If you have never heard this, let me be the first to say, it is not fully on you and you can remedy this. It won't take drugs, it won't take dong, it won't take asking "rate my boobies tee hee - attention, attention, me, me, I, look at me, me, me!" If you were never shown, by a true role model, what to watch out for, who to watch out for, that you matter, that guys should matter to you, that people like Laci Green are poisonous, ways of how to build your confidence through actions while you fulfill the fate you were meant to tread, etc.... then you simply weren't given the tools to succeed so you, fundamentally, cannot be fully blamed. Now that isn't to say you don't own your decisions because those are on you but the frame work is not and you need to remember this. Not friends.... parents..... not buddies..... but role models, parents (or the like) who gave you the chance to fly. Both working in unison to fill absolutely crucial roles for the young mind. Both equally important to both men and women.
The younger guys are no different. However, your (our) innate nature force you (us) to go down different paths to the same end.... or goal lines. Where as women fill their depression and fall deeper and deeper down the rabbits hole through their longing for connection through contact, any contact (which normally leads to sex en masse, before they are ready, which they later regret and fall deeper on themselves - all while Laci Green types tell them they are special snowflakes in training or whatever bullshit concocted lies they conjure), men fall deeper into their own self and close themselves off, in totality, to the world. At the end of the day though, the loss equates to the same loss. Again though, make no mistake.... the end is just as treacherous as it is for both. None of you can fool me about the "I don't care about bitches and hoes" crap and saying that shit because, guess what, it hurts you, it weakens you and even though you can't see or touch it, it corrodes you. Let me be utterly blunt so there is no question here. I am all for equality but I cannot stand white knight beta goobers who write these: "I support women and men are meanie poo poo heads. OMG OMG, internet girls will like me, suckie suckie five dolla PAAALLLEASE!!!" However, let's be serious here, let's cut the shit and talk like men. This issue (more times than not) begins with the absense of the Father because some knucklehead forget that insertion could equate to Gerbers and some girl convinced herself "love... LOVE! Unicorns, rainbows and turtles shitting glitterbugs!"