I stumbled upon a tumblr blog called just-shower-thoughts and thought it is a cool idea so I decided to share the 30 funniest thoughts with you! :)
1. I just realized we describe something as being “organized” because everything is in the right place and doing its particular job, just like the organs of a body.
2. It is extremely possible that there might be a number between one and thousand that I still haven’t ever spoken out loud or written down.
3. Minimum wage is basically like saying “if we could pay you less, we would”.
4. I’m pretty sure if hiccups suddenly disappeared and no one got it ever again, it would be a long time before anyone would notice.
5. I never realised how great having no food allergies is. I can go to the store and literally buy anything without having to check the ingredients.
6. If Netflix really wants people to stop sharing accounts and pay individually, they should just start offering porn.
7. If all drugs were legal, there would have really awesome commercials/marketing campaigns.
8. Yawning is like your body’s 15% recharge warning.
9. If smoking caused immediate hair loss instead of eventual cancer, fewer people would smoke.
10. I don’t have a inner voice, I have 3 inner voices. One that says what I’m really thinking, one that calls me stupid for thinking that and one that tries to explain my point of view.
11. I can never flirt with an attractive bank teller because she will always know how poor I really am.
12. There are roughly as many boobs on this planet as people.
13. I wonder if Leonardo DiCaprio thinks he won the Oscar because he deserves it, or if he thinks they gave it to him to stop the jokes.
14. The United States of America is the only country without an actual name. It’s just a bunch of united states that happens to be all in America. We just call it its own description.
15. If I squeezed a new bottle of ketchup and ketchup came out, I would never realize that the safety seal was missing.
16. Every time I have to chase a ping-pong ball, I feel like a 3 year-old. I’m convinced there is no cool way to chase a ping-pong ball.
17. I could have learned a new language if I spent as much time practicing as I do jerking off.
18. I used to be the youngest person in the world. So did everyone else.
19. Most people will gladly store their useless junk in their garage but leave their $20,000 car outside
20. The most realistic part of GTA V is when I’m charged $5,000 every time I go to the hospital.”
21. The only difference between “mostly sunny” and “partly cloudy” is my weatherman’s outlook on life.
22. I have no clue how Imgur is pronounced.
23. Spilling your coffee on yourself in the morning would wake you up faster than drinking it.
24. The British use rubbers to correct mistakes whereas Americans use them to prevent mistakes.
25. Birth Certificates are just receipts for human beings.
26. If the number 666 is considered evil, is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?
27. If I had a time machine, I would strictly use it to travel to the past and buy cheap groceries.
28. If I have 2 choices and 1 of them is taken away, I have 0 left.
29. The phrase “I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me” is actually a depressing statement about how people are born into gang culture and the cycle of poverty.
30. Eating leftovers is like having dinner for two with your past self.
Hope you enjoyed this Take!