You've got to make it happen

[Anonymous]

If there’s one thing I have noticed in life both in my interactions with people in real life and on social websites like GirlsaskGuys, it’s that people seem to spend their lives waiting for things to fall into their laps and it rings true when it comes to casual sex, dating and relationships more so.

Men and women are often too scared to make the first move, they approach their love lives like they’re playing a game of chess, a game of cat and mouse and if you’re like me, you probably approach your love life like you’re about to enter a Colosseum to fight to the death.

I’ll give you an example of a friend of mine, he’s a great guy, he’s got money, he looks good, he dresses well, he treats people with respect and he’s handsome. Girls like him and he likes girl but he never approaches. He’s scared of rejection, rejection terrifies him, I try and reassure him that rejection isn’t so bad despite its initial sting; he usually becomes agitated and retorts that girls should approach him. He has a point, girls should approach men too, I agree. It’s not about who approaches who, it’s about being proactive. It’s about making things happen.

I socialize with girls at work and they even ask me for my opinion on their dating tribulations from time to time. They’re worried about coming across too strongly; they want to approach their dating lives like a game of chess in case they wind up being checkmated, but why? There are no set in stone rules in the dating game (there’s only the limitations you place on yourself as to what you can and cannot do). If a girl likes a guy then there’s no reason why she can’t ask him out, there is no reason why she cannot take the initiative and lead from the front, there’s no reason why she cannot be proactive and pursue what she wants and girls shouldn’t feel they are above the concept of rejection. It’s about being proactive, both men and women are not proactive enough as a collective and that’s why games are played, that’s why power struggles are formed and that’s how drama is often created where there need not be any.

If you can be proactive in other areas of your life, then there is no excuse for you to be so passive in your ‘love life’. If you are not a proactive person then you need a kick up the ass because life is too short to watch golden opportunities pass you by.

Don’t be the person who in later life wishes he or she could have and should have taken all of the opportunities they allowed to drift on by. Be the person that lives a life with no regret and if you want something, you want someone, you want to be someone, and then make it happen. Think like a champion and you will be a champion, my friend.

[YourFutureEx]

Dear shy people, READ THIS.