Why don't white guys like me?

Question

Okay, so I'm a black girl. I guess I'm kind of shaped like your stereotypical black girl. I have big hips, a big butt, big breast, and a small waist. I know I'm not fat and everyone I know, knows I'm not fat.

But I don't act like the stereotypical "black girl." I'm not "loud and ghetto." I've grown up around a lot of different races but I prefer white guys. But, white guys don't seem to like me. Not sure why, but its kind of upsetting.

Plus, all my friends, black or white, look at me as if I'm crazy, if I tell them about a white guy I find attractive. Even when I tell my own mother. She doesn't like straight tell me, "no you can't date white guys." But, when I tell her about someone I find attractive, the look on her face shows that she's depressed.

I don't know what I should do. Any advice?

oOsweet~o~nessOo · Accepted Answer

Well from what I've heard, a lot of white guys believe black girls don't like them.

Probably has a lot to do with the way our cultures are structured: like black men are typically put out as being more " masculine," due to the stereotypes about aggression, athletics, and size.

For some reason, a lot of people conclude that black women would only see black men as the epitome of masculinity due to these factors, making black men their only choice.

But for a lot of black girls that's definitely not the case.

I'm exactly like you, my black friends and family make the same faces and comments when I point out how attractive a non black guy is.

I ignore them.

I use to be frustrated and hated how I felt about the guys I was attracted to - brainwashed by our stubborn overly prideful society to understand that there wasn't anything wrong with the type of people I liked.

Once you realize your totally 100% fine in liking what you do - then you'll begin to meet some cool white dudes.

Where I'm currently located - a lot of people interracially date here; black girl / white guy couples are kinda common.

I've noticed upon coming to college that a lot of white guys have an attraction or curiosity about black women and other non white cultures.

Some white guys just want the thrill of having sex with non white women - to see if it's different and what not. One white guy I met said something about " losing his minority virginity."

I shook my head and laughed.

Then there are white guys who legit want a relationship with non black women - or have a fascination with them. It's like the lure of the opposite of what they're used to and vice versa.

Like all things, it ultimately boils down to preference - some white dudes love black women, some do not.

How you find the guys who do like black women - you have to make friends and get to know these different guys. The more you befriend and talk to the guys, the higher your chances for finding a white guy who wants to be with you. Or maybe a couple white dudes :)

No one likes ghetto, unless they're ghetto themselves ha ha .

That mentality isn't very flattering on anyone - what sucks for us black gals, is it's always automatically assumed that we are this way, because stereotypes always stick for some reason with people.

Be expressive of who you are, give people the idea that your far from a stereotype and let who you truly are show.

This of course doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your culture as a black woman to find a white man - NO don't do that. A lot of white guys who dig black girls like us for that bit of attitude, our black female quirks etc -

One of the white dudes I'm good friends with (we've kissed :D) always comments on how cute I am when I do the neck thing ha ha :P

But yea, be you and keep your head up.

Your a beautiful black woman - and a lot of white men notice that.

bendystraws · Accepted Answer

I'm mixed Korean and Black. White guys DO like me: very, very much. The problem is white men are raised very differently from other men and you have to take that into account. Unlike other races of men, white guys are taught specific things and these things will affect you, because most are race-specific.

Whites are more sensitive to and obsessed with race and skin color than the rest of us. You need to take this into account the way you would what you'd cook if married to a man with a peanut butter allergy. Does this imply white men have a race/skin color allergy?

YES, YOU'D BETTER BELIEVE THEY DO. Here is how that may be affecting your experiences as a black woman who wants to date white men:

Unlike men of other races, white men are taught early that:

1. "Only very thin women are sexually attractive." You've encountered this because all women have, including white women. They dislike that so many white men want Asian women. The reason white men love Asian women is most are extremely thin and will work hard to stay that way, whereas white women know better. White men actually love full round breasts and thick butts in secret. They are just socialized to pretend they don't. This is why after choosing a thin white girl with a boyish body as wife, they often get a Latin or black woman as a mistress. There is no explaining this logically. But if you want to date white men successfully, you need to accept this about them.

2. "You can have sex with a non-white woman in secret, but you are not allowed to marry her or we other white men will ridicule and punish you, and you might even find yourself disinherited." White men actually ridicule and shun one another for dating interracially, though all share the opinion white women are "materialistic gold diggers and sluts" and dislike them. Again there is no way to logically explain this.

3. "Black women are harder to satisfy sexually than white women. Besides, aren't black women used to black men's bigger c*ck? How will I compete against this?" This one's ridiculous: biggest I ever saw was on a white guy, but you'll NEVER deprogram a white man out of this lie. They're obsessed by black penis. He'll fear you'll run back to it, no matter how wonderful in bed he is. Even the awesome white guys eventually will bring up black c*ck with you one night after sex. Sigh, reassure him, turn over and go to sleep.

It's not going away. Ever.

4. Unless you're beautiful, YOU will have to be the aggressor.

Best wishes.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

Why don't white guys like me?

You're unattractive

You're unattractive to them

Your personality is unattractive

Your personality is unattractive to them

"I know I'm not fat and everyone I know, knows I'm not fat."

Yet do you know if the white guys you like think you're fat? Just because you and those you know don't think you're fat doesn't mean that others can't.

"But, white guys don't seem to like me. Not sure why, but its kind of upsetting. "

Perhaps because they don't find you attractive? Just because you're not fat, loud, or ghetto doesn't mean that who you like will like you. Just like a guy not being fat, loud, or ghetto doesn't mean he's attractive and the girl he likes will like him.

Any advice? Rate your appearance honestly and take these into consideration:

some white guys don't find black women attractive at all.

some white guys only find certain shades of black women attractive.

G-Daz · Accepted Answer

Big butt you say! :D lol For many white guys its a case of environmental influence, lots of white guys will state they don't find black girls attractive and probably kind of feel that themselves.. But honestly I believe its more a case of social conditioning and environment. These same white guys who state they arn't attracted to black girls will still find celeb black girls like rihanna, gabrille union, beyonce etc attractive so don't ever feel like they arn't attracted to you.

I think all it might take depending on the individual guy is for you to get to know them and honestly I think a lot of them will realize how attracted to black girls they are. I certainly find black girls attractive and there are many white guys that are open to dating them too no rush

EngineeringStudent · Accepted Answer

There ARE white guys that would date Black girls.

Think of it this way:

A certain percentage of the single guys you're interested in don't find Black girls attractive period.

A certain percentage DO find them attractive, but aren't looking for a relationship with anyone.

A certain percentage DO find them attractive, but don't find YOU personally attractive.

A certain percentage DO find them attractive, find you personally attractive, and would date you. THESE are the one's you're looking for. If you get rejected, well, they weren't part of that small percentage you're searching for anyway.

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

you sound like you're really pretty and to be honest your looks would probably be more appreciated with black guys, so you might want to try and date them because the odds of you finding a white guy willing to date a black girl (seriously and not just hook up) isn't that high

moloz · Answer

Your mother and many other people have some old hate still living even to this day (not just black people).

To be honest, you're problem is that you don't make yourself to be liked. Those people, accurate or not, do believe you're not okay to be dated. The good news is, you can make yourself to be liked. Just don't sit and wait because there's a 1 in a 100 000 a white guy will approach you.

AdamUndead · Answer

It's all about stereotypes.

I agree with other guys, some of us find black girls much hotter than others.

Like, I'd NEVER date a girl with blond hair, no matter how nice she'd be. I just can't cause somewhere in my mind I have this voice tellin me "This girl looks like a slut, move on dude" and that's what I do. I think that it's kinda stupid to judge by the looks, but that's how it works for some guys and girls.

Baby-Gurl · Answer

It's probably because of the area that you are in. There are probably plenty of white men that are interested you but they probably don't know how to approach you. I wouldn't worry about it to much if you find a guy attractive whether he be white or black just approach and him and say and be flirtiaous and things will be turn out for ya most likely. Just be you and g0o0o after the guy your interested in.

Anonymous · Answer

I have always loved white men but can't find one that is interested or I also find that we become friends and we flirt and then once they figure out I like them they act weird or distant or example I just recently approached this white guy I thought was cute I had been looking at him for months we would speak to each other and finally I got up the nerve to say something.. I had a brief conversation with him and I gave him my number I even mentioned I thought he was cute.. He never called me? I see him every now and then we speak to each other but it makes me wonder what the reason was why he didn't call. I am not a bad looking women I'm sweet... I don't have an attraction to black men they don't own me or do anything for me just not interested in them... what am I doing wrong?

peacenic · Answer

next time Your Mother gives You that look,ask Her ," why such a look?" and she will probably have a insight You have not considered...

stereotypical "black girl." <--- I do not understand this, so guessing? aggressive women scare me...

smbcomix · Answer

There are definitely guys out there that are attracted to more than just their own "race." I wouldn't mind dating a white girl OR a black girl. In some cases, black girls tend to be the ones I can get along with the easiest.

And yes I'm white. :)

Serotriptomine · Answer

I don't find black women attractive at all. And I wouldn't be able to tell you why, because I have no idea. So I can understand the issue.

RiaBug · Answer

GIRL! I'm nicaraguan..you don't know what you're missin! black guys are th shizz! I've dated white guys too. my parent s are white. I just feel like black guys cherish a b***h more

lolli · Answer

They're probably scared. I guess you have to look for the subtle signs of attraction and go from there.

Anonymous · Answer

they probably don't like black girls as much just like you don't like ethnic guys as much...

johari · Answer

They could be jus too scared to show their attraction

Anonymous · Answer

Don't say you look like a sterotype every race has a trademark look its a fact not a sterotype and be proud of GOD's gift..maybe try approaching guys

stillagoodgirl · Answer

Maybe they secretly do

MakingaRuckus · Answer

You need a pic

Anonymous · Answer

you have to try to approach them

Anonymous · Answer

The slim shady ones do

Why don't white guys like me?

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