Am I a loser because I don't have my driver's license?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend tells me that I'm a loser because I don't have my driver's license or a car.

I can drive. I just can't get my license. I've failed the test twice. The written part is so hard! The way it's written is hard to understand. I speak English, but I'm learning disabled and have trouble. I have gotten extra time, but it never helps and I study very hard for the test, but I can never pass it. I'm 29 years old and my boyfriend is 27 and can drive. I do want to drive too, but it's just so hard and it's also expensive.

I don't have the money right now for it because I can't find a job.

I also have anxiety.

Where I live in CT, you need a car. There are buses. But sometimes that isn't good enough.

My parents never helped me to get my license when I was a teenager because they didn't want me to drive and they were scared to take me out on the road. They're still the same way now. But my younger sister got her license when she was 20. That's not fair!

Several of my friends don't drive either because they don't want to drive, have learning disabilities and anxiety. All those people where in special ed. And then there are some friends of mine that have learning disabilities and were in special ed and do drive. But I have a higher IQ then those people that drive. So I don't get it.

[SilverFox-chan]

I'm 22 and don't have one either. I CAN drive, but I'm honestly terrified to. I have a blood disorder that has adverse physical effects on me, so it'd be dangerous and irresponsible for me to be driving anyway. Not only that, but I also suffer from anxiety. If I drove regularly in busy traffic, I would mess up far too much. I could pass the driver's test easy if I really wanted to, but I haven't taken it yet.

People have their reasons for not having a license, and they should be respected. However, there are sure fine benefits to being able to drive. I find myself wanting a car more and more so I can quit being so dependent, but the ultimate truth is, I'm in NO position to even attempt to try to afford the cost of getting and keeping a vehicle. It's far out of my range right now.

You're NOT a loser. That's just plain mean. =/ He should be more supportive.

[Asker]

Yeah he mostly drives me everywhere. I think he's just concerned that if he needs to go to the hospital and I can't drive him. Or if we have kids one day and I won't be able to take them places. Like if they miss their bus, then I couldn't drive them.

[SilverFox-chan]

Yeah, not gonna lie, there does come a point when you do realize that it would be of substantial importance if you could also drive. It'd help out greatly. Maybe by calling you a loser, he's trying to spur you into more action. Still though, I totally understand, and I wish you the best of luck on that.

[Anonymous]

No, you're not a loser.

I just turned 26 and I don't have my license, but I do have my permit.

By also, I live in NYC so not having a license or a car doesn't effect me.

[Asker]

I wish I still lived in NYC for that reason. But no my parents decided to move to CT when I turned 3. Even though all of my family lives in NY. New Rochelle, Long Island, The Bronx, Queens, etc.

[Anonymous]

It's been a while since I started to drive, used to be OK your 15 great take this class, then go to the DMV, and get your permit, then when you turn 16 it doesn't matter if that's in a month go and get your license, there was a test but it a computer test and it was super easy, questions like what do you do at a red light? That was it you get it your golden.

Fast forward to present day, holy crap, I a lot has changed, I heard that test is hard now, both written and on the computer, and also a driving test at the DMV damn. My suggestion never give up, eventually you will get it.

[Asker]

Thanks. Maybe I will.

[yopyopyop]

Firstly, intelligence doesn't have lots to do with it. I remember a friend of mine back in the day, he was at the same engineering school as I was, and he was a nightmare on wheels.

In France we have cars without license. They are small 2 seats cars, with a small engines (max speed is around 30 mph). That could be an alternative solution if you don't have large distances to drive ?

[Asker]

Google has those self driving cars that they are coming out with. So I'll have to save up money to get that.

[Konnour]

The key for the written part is to learn the question answers by heart.

Forget the rule book and trying to think the answers on your own - it will not work.

..but I'm not sure how exactly it all is in other countries.. you probably must also have that big book of pictures and 4 answer options to each question - the same questions also are in the official test. Just learn them all by heart and you'll complete it.

[Anonymous]

Any guy who calls you a loser because of something so trivial, is an insecure prick who is terrified that the moment you grow a backbone, you will dump him.

He spends his time making sure that you feel like sh*t, like you are a loser, and that no other guy will ever love you.

That's his way of keeping you. By making you think he's the only game in town.

But he's not. He's a prick.

Dump him.