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My boyfriend toke his baby mama out to eat for her birthday?

Ok my question is..is it wrong to be mad that your boyfriend toke his baby mama out to eat for her birthday while I was at work. He told me that he... Show More

Said he finally said he only gave him 150. We have tons of bills coming up and I'm far from greedy but wouldn't you think 30 toward rent would of been better because I'm not paying for it because he was birching and stressing for a couple days before that about money. And also I feel if he can't buy me anything for our one year anniversary or Valentine's day this year he shouldn't get her anything dinner or not. He has money to take her out for her birthday but doesn't get me anything

Most Helpful Opinion

  • As a girl who has two cousins who have children out of wed lock (one of them being male), I can safely say that your boyfriend andthe mother of his child being on good terms it's much better for thekid, trust me! My male cousin and the mother of his child, basically loathand dispise each other. It wasn't always that way, but they'vealways had rocky relationship. He's got custody of the kidsand she's not a very good mom. They're not together now, buttheir eldest son (who turns 13 this weekend) had to watch allthe fights, yelling, swearing, talking smack about one another,the police being called and the constant moving in and out witheach other. It's been hard on him and he'll probably now havemessed up view on relationships and their youngest ( who is 3)doesn't talk and is acting out aggressivly, that's probably due tothe fact he's never had proper bonding time with his mom andshe's never around, I mean she's see's them, how often I don'tknow. What I do know is, that it's very hard on those kids havingthere parents not be on good terms.My point, is I understand that maybe you're hurt that he didn'ttell you the complete truth, he should have. However, there'snothing wrong with him taking the mother of his child and theirson, out for her birthday or paying for the dinner. It's a nice jestureand sets a good example for their son. Also, I noticed how yousaid to another answerer in comments, that your boyfriend has said"I love you" to his childs mom? Just because he tells her he lovesher, doesn't mean he's in love with her. I'm assuming they were acouple once and may have at one time been in love and now theyhave a child together? Not to freak you out, but having child bondstwo people together for life and if they split on good terms, than ofcourse they might still feel a love for each other. That doesn't mean they'regetting back together or in love with each other. You know what I mean?My best advice would be, if you're really afraid there's somethings elsegoing on between them. You should sit them both in a room and confrontthem and ask "if there's anything for you to worry about?" And, say "You'drather know the truth now, than later on and risk everybody being hurt" Ultimately, it all comes down to trust. You just have to trust him andtry not to get too angry when he does things with her, it might start to makehim feel like you're trying to alienate him from his childs mother. Obviously,you don't want that. Just hang in there and I hope things work out in yourrelationship. Good luck! : )

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What Guys Said 6

  • You have merit if you're upset he lied. Deceit is a dangerous thing. As far as him taking his ex out, given that they share a kid, it could be considered the decent thing to do considering the circumstances. The girl is going to be apart of his life whether he wants it or not. Things move smoother is you stay on good terms with said person. p.s. he didn't take her out for a private dinner. He went with his son, his father, and the mother of his son. That's not cause for reprimandation. Also, maybe he lied because he felt you would not see things in such a way. It doesn't excuse him trying to deceive you but it explains it.

    • One other thing that just donned on me... perhaps he didn't lie and just provided you with a half truth. His fathers birthday was in that same week, correct? The dinner could have been in celebration of both birthdays. That's not an uncommon situation.

    • Show Older
    • He has no reason at all. He said he will change the way he talks to her. But hasn't happened after what I seen him telling her he loves her again.

    • Well, it looks like you have all the facts. The rest is up to you.

  • Since he has a kid unfortunately you're going to have to deal with the baby mamma. Him taking her out for her birthday and bringing the kid along is perfectly fine. The fact that you over react with him is probably the reason why he twisted the truth a little bit. Now spending money on the baby mama and then not getting you anything at all isn't right. She may be the mother of his child, but he still have respect for you and show appreciation for you on your anniversary and on Valentine's day and get you something or make you something

    • I ment to agree with your comment not disagree

  • Your being selfish, the guy spent time with this kid and the mom was there. It was a nice gesture for him ot pick up the bill on account of her birthday. He gave his son a nice memory. You're kinda drawlin' by making a bigger deal out of it than it should be. It's not about you per say. A father needs to have a strong relationship with the mother of his child. It doesn't mean that he wants to be with her. You drew forreal on this. Kinda selfish.

  • I think it is completely okay for him to take out his ex-girlfriend, who happens to be the mother of his child, and also to pay for dinner. But there should also be very clear communication around it. He should start by telling you that he would like to take her out for her birthday, asking how you felt about it, setting a realistic start and end time for the meeting, so you need not to worry when he will come home, checking in with you over phone if he runs late. Anything to make you feel secure, that shows he is honest, cares about your feelings and doesn't do it in order to make you jealous or try to get back with her. You should also cut him some slack, don't drive him away or into lying to you with you jealousy. In my opinion he is allowed to have a good relation with the mother of his child, it could even be a sign that he is a nice guy, taking responsibility for his past. But the situation needs to be dealt with responsibly and there should not be such messy miscommunications like it seems to be the case here. That just creates drama on both ends. Good luck!

  • This makes no sense. Your boyfriend's mom is a baby, or your boyfriend has another baby that isn't yours? Next time, be more clear. Don't hurt the baby emotionally.

  • wud you prefer that the child grow up hating both his parents and becoming a person that is emotionally traumatized?think about it this way, you cud be his step mom in the future. your boyfriend is being a good person you shud not make a big deal about it. the one thing you shud complain about is how come they cudnt go at a time when you cud of been there as well.him paying for her= not a big dealhim deciding to do the dinner while your at work= big deal

What Girls Said 6

  • I'm just gonna be honest and tell you something you don't wanna hear: They're probably still f***ing. They went out for HER birthday, not the son's. Mommy, daddy and baby going out to eat is what families do. And if he did not get you anything for Valentines day or anniversary then that is a huuuge sign. He's not showing the right amount of dedication to you and that's not fair. His actions are showing that he's playing around with you and just keeping you around but he's still with her

  • This is a little confusing. I think the worst part of it is that he didn't tell you the truth. He first said he took his dad to lunch right ... but later said it was also for her birthday? It's not a deal breaker, as long as he doesn't pay her special attention like he still likes her

    • Sometimes I feel as he still wants to be with her telling her he loves her all the time. Even on Valentine's day he said happy Valentine's day I love you. Uncalled-for. And today sent a text wishing her luck at her new job and if she needs anything or help he will do so because in his own words "I do love you". Wtf is all this. Feels Like a bigger picture if he always telling her he loves her. But I also know they have a good friendship cuz.of thier son I guess

  • Id be mad. I'm dating a guy with a kid and the way I feel is that you two should only really need to talk about the kid. You two decided that you two cannot work despite the fact you have a child together. Plus he lied to you, though I'm assuming that he did because he knew you would react the way you are, which I support by the way. But lied none the less. Plus if this is how you feel its how you feel. Don't try to make yourself the bad guy when I think you obviously know who is wrong in this situation.

    • That's what I said. But they also have a good relationship for their son and are good friends after all this. But if you read more to what I told this guy that answered my question..you will see how I feel that there is more to this than just a mother of his child.

  • *took...

    • Well thanks for spelling grammer. I was typing fast in anger. Lol

  • I have a 5 year old daughter with my husband and he has a 9 year old from a previous relationship. Funny thing he does is he will take his son and our daughter out to eat and not tell me that his sons mother "tagged along"...NOT OK! I personally think any relationship between boyfriend and baby mama should be kept strictly about the child! There is NO reason why he needs to be taking her out, he should be taking the son out not her! It's a little different be I have a child with my husband as well so I really feel there is no reasoning for anything more than a cordial relationship between the two. Very simple..pay your child support and take your child for visits or weekends etc. there is no reason to play house for the kids sake. Why create a fake setting for the child?

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