Don't pedestalise women

[BritGuy212]

These days there is one thing that men commonly do is place women on a pedestal for simply being a woman. Truth is that women on an instinctual level have absolute disdain for men who pedestalise them because pedestalising women is a characterisitic of a beta male, i.e. a nice guy. Women look at men who pedestalise them as weak and controllable thus place these guys in the dreaded friendzone. Men who don't pedestalise women are the men who have the greatest luck with women, and tend to have the most successful relationships with women.

Women don't want to be a man's everything (nice guys tend to use the terms "the One" and "She's my everything"). Women are attracted to men who don't prioritise them. Women are attracted to men who strive for a mission in life, and put that mission above everything else. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out.

Another way men will pedestalise women is by giving them unearnt rewards such as compliments and gifts. They'll call girls beautiful, gorgeous, and whatnot, without her having earnt said compliments. They'll buy her gifts without her having earnt them. Stop that.

Of course, (insane) women will shriek at such remarks, and proclaim that they prefer "nice guys" over "jerks (who don't pedestalise them)", but will fall for the latter because they are wired to do so.

Last but not least, men who pedestalise women tend to let women make the rules. Women don't want you to play by their rules. Women are actually attracted to men who don't play by their rules, and create their own. If you allow a woman to make the rules, then she'll resent you more than even a rapist can't inspire. Women from the manjaw weight-lifting crowd right to the Tumblr feminist crowd want to be led and dominated by a powerful man. In other words, women don't like pushovers.

[Rahdle]

This is 100% true for some women. Not all. Ask any old married couple, the guy pedistalized his girl. That's what makes for a long happy marriage. Not saying you should bend over backwards for her, but love her, provide for her, trust her, and never stop holding her hand.

[bloodmountain1990]

I don't think you have to put a woman on a pedestal to do that.

[Rahdle]

But it helps. Proves you're great full to have her

[Kirah]

I disagree, why should my man put me on a pedestal, if I'm not willing to do the same? Equality is the way to go. Put each other on a pedestal, that seems ideal.

[bloodmountain1990]

Yeah but from my experience, any time I've acted lovey dovey or appeared more interested, it hasn't worked out.

[Rahdle]

Pedistalizing isn't just acting lovey dovey, it's treating them like a princess. Cuz deep down, every girl wishes they were a princess. Or at least treated like one

[JohnBhoy94]

"Ask any old married couple, the guy pedistalized his girl. That's what makes for a long happy marriage" ... BULLSHIT!

Putting someone - anyone - on a pedestal is putting their needs before yours. Women notice this and it turns them off because it makes you seem weak. As soon as the woman smells weakness from a man, she'll test his "manhood" and gradually retract herself from the relationship.

And if I asked "any old married couple" about their married life, do you think they'd all say "Oh yeah we're super happy, we date all the time!" ? No, they bloody well wouldn't.

For a relationship to work in the long run there has to be constant courtship... most couples don't have what it takes and it results in divorce... just look at divorce rates in the West lol, look how many "happy" couples there are!!

[KAZ-2Y5]

congratulations you get the bullshit award
3.bp.blogspot.com/.../bullshit.jpg

[BritGuy212]

Call it bullshit, but n a subconscious level, you do exactly what I speak of.

[KAZ-2Y5]

You don't even know my name yet you are making a judgment? Okay dude say whatever the hell makes you happy

[KAZ-2Y5]

Plus not many people get my bullshit award be proud and blissfully ignorant.

[Ozanne]

Now hold on ladies... much of this Take is actually very true. Some things that aren't I'll point out in a second, and they aren't as a whole what this was about, from my interpretation.

I've been put in that bizarre royal-like position and let me tell you, I couldn't stand it! The reason why is because it was unnaturally unequal. Here was a guy who actually called me Princess (which I fucking hate) and made me feel uneasy with his constant attention. This attention was on par with how a 10 year old treats their favourite One Direction member. We couldn't have normal conversations or do normal things because he lost himself in being my pet. I fucking hated this. Here's where it got worse, when I just wanted a "normal" night and not have to listen to how he worshipped me, which got old, he became sad and/or angry telling me I didn't appreciate his royal treatment toward me. I'm sorry but no, I don't appreciate not having a fun, normal relationship where I can just talk and have normal conversations. So all of that smothering and phoniness was all about appreciation and what he might get from me in the end, if nothing else, the acknowledgement that he was doing the right thing. Far from it. It was the worse I've ever been treated.

Now, Take Owner, as much as I agree with your opinions - there are some things that you say that are off. I'll quote you, then comment:

"Women are attracted to men who don't prioritise them."
Not so fast. This is not true. Women understand there are going to be some priorities that take precedence such as kids or ailing parents, but if you hold the primary relationship with your partner, you should both be coming first to each other overall.

"Women are attracted to men who strive for a mission in life, and put that mission above everything else."
Again, we are not expecting to come first at all times, especially if he has a career, but as a person, in the primary relationship with him, we do for the most part. We are attracted to ambition, but part of the ambition means to include a life with us - or so we hope. So overall, these are just shifting around as priorities.

"They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support..."
True, but in turn we hope that they will also give us support to follow our dreams, if it's a career or otherwise. It works both ways. So this was just off by a bit.

(more)

[Ozanne]

…they prefer "nice guys" over "jerks (who don't pedestalise them)", but will fall for the latter because they are wired to do so.”
I’m sorry but this is just false. We are not naturally wired to choose a “jerk”. Define jerk if you will because to us, it’s someone who is all-around disrespectful – choose the applicable attitude problem. We don’t like this at all. Women who choose jerks are often too insecure to know their own self-worth, and believe they can’t do any better. But for the most part, women aren’t even labeling what “nice” is. She’s wanting chemistry and compatibility along with good old fashioned appeal (whatever that appeal happens to be to her). If he happens to fall in line with whatever “nice” is, then fantastic.

“Women don't want you to play by their rules. Women are actually attracted to men who don't play by their rules, and create their own.”
This is a bit too black and white to call this false or the truth because to me, when you meet someone and start a r

[Ozanne]

a relationship, you create rules together. If either partner plays the “my way or the highway” act, it gets old and irritating really fast and I don’t care which gender it is doing it.

Anyway, overall your Take does send the message that we don’t want lapdogs, which is true. But know the difference between both parties showing confidence and respect, knowing who they are as individuals as opposed to preferring and settling for mattering very little to the other person.

[BritGuy212]

The man is the boss of the house.

[Ozanne]

That's all you've got? LOL No, he's not - not in any healthy relationship I've seen, and certainly not any I've been in. There is no "boss" when two people are partners in love. But hey, you're 18 and you'll probably have that figured out in maybe ten years or more. Both the man and woman have to decide if they want a pet, not a partner. If either one wants a pet, then that novelty wears off really quick.

[BritGuy212]

"Equality" in relationships ruins them despite your baseless protestations.

1. heartiste.wordpress.com/.../
2. heartiste.wordpress.com/.../
3. heartiste.wordpress.com/.../

I enjoy being right. :D The MAN is the boss.

[Ozanne]

What are you linking someone's personal blog for? That's about as significant as your opinion. You're 18. Soon enough it will be time to grow up.

[LightsOff]

I agree that I don't want to be put on a pedestal, but that is not the same as making me your priority. When I'm in a serious relationship with someone (and in the future, possibly married) I will EXPECT my partner to make me his priority eventually, just as I will make him mine. It's important. It means you care. It means you view your partner as family. If a guy eventually doesn't prioritize me, I will just assume that he will never really care enough about me and I'll end it. Finding a balance between your priorities is key obviously but if I NEVER come first, not even once, then the guy simply doesn't care about me. Like I said I will prioritize him so I expect him to do the same.

And just because a guy doesn't put all women on a pedestal, it doesn't make him a jerk or an asshole. It means that he's not a delusional prick and that he actually sees women as his equals (ideally).

I also don't want to be led or dominated. In the bedroom yes but outside of it, no. I want to be treated with respect, I want him to listen to my opinions and thoughts, and I want him to do what I ask of him every now and then. It's give and take, and compromise. You can't generalize all women and expect them all to want the same things, that's ONE way to drive your relationships straight to hell in one swift move. If a guy just wants to dominate me and never listens to what I have to say, then I won't want to be with him. A relationship like that would make me feel worthless. And if a guy doesn't even want to play by my "rules" once, then that would just be annoying and would make me irritated at him. I would not want him more for it. In fact, it would make me want to stay away from him. Again, the relationships I want are about giving, taking and compromising.

"If you allow a woman to make the rules, then she'll resent you more than even a rapist can't inspire"

What the actual fuck? Really, what the ACTUAL fuck. That's just... horrible. Plain and simple. What an absolutely vile statement. Either you're dumb as fuck or trying too hard to troll. Either way that's a shitty thing to say, and in no way true at all. Jesus.

Your problem is that you're trying to oversimplify everything by forcing women into this tiny box of standards. You NEED to realize that women are individuals with different wants and needs, and that those wants and needs aren't defined by our gender. Get that through your thick skull.

[FinnishBeautyGirl]

I agree with you totally. This guy is either dump or reaaaaally plain and simple who thinks he knows everything about women and our minds

[OpenClose]

I agree with some points, but not all.

- I agree that men should put women on less of a pedestal. Contrary to popular belief, this is not progressive, it is actually REgressive. Back to the Victorian era.

- However, gift-giving and "chivalry" are not necessarily putting women on a pedestal. If she doesn't reciprocate much, and you continue, that's when to be concerned.

Putting women on a pedestal involves often ignoring or putting up with shitty behavior because "happy wife, happy life" or "the woman is always right." or a complete misinterpretation of "treat her like a lady."

Basically, men set themselves up with - and are often raised on - the expectation that women are angels. When this expectation is shattered, they consider them demons. Women are neither. (Or perhaps they are both.)

- It's not so much about whether or not he plays by her rules. It is more about whether or not he is internally or externally motivated to observe them. Similar to "making his own rules", but not entirely.

For instance, if a guy buys a girl flowers because she asks him to, he seems like a doormat. If he buys flowers despite her not bringing it up, or asking he not, it is seen as romantic.

This may be why younger girls tend to go for badder guys. It's not his "badness" they like so much, it's his internal motivation for behaving this way.

Plenty of guys are internally motivated to be good people, or cooperative, or good students. The problem is that when you are young, it's hard to tell these guys from the ones who are externally motivated. That is, guys who would otherwise be bad, but are only good because they fear backlash. (False dichotomies aside)

So "bad boys" stand out much more as being self-motivated. THIS is the damaging part for young men and women, as shown here: https://goo.gl/zFQ2KS

When you get older, you can tell which guys are being nice because they genuinely WANT to be, and which guys are only nice because they can't be jerks, or have an ulterior motive.

Once two guys are determined to be self-motivated, the good guy usually wins many more hearts.

Case in point: How many girls prefer older Malfoy over older Longbottom?

[far2gud4u]

WOW... omg WOW what a take...

I hate to tell you this but I dont like guys who treat me like they can't be bothered. I am a great girl, intelligent, look ok, have a great personality and so why would I want someone who treats me like I am nothing?

Sometimes a girl is everything a guy is looking for and so he 'put her on a pedestal' as you put it. The thing is, the girl does the same with him if they are feelings that are requited. So there is actually no pedestal in a relationship where they are in love as she loves him too and all he does and puts him on a pedestal also.

This is basically just a post on 'how to always be single and never settle down' My boyfriend had this attitude and soon changed it when i got fed up of thinking he couldnt be bothered with me. All of a sudden he makes the effort to show me he doesn't take me for granted (because women do one hell of a lot for men and dont even show it most of the time!).

One day you will meet a woman who is your everything and your attitude will change because it needs to if you want to keep her.

[creepycreeper]

-looks at what girls said, sees a bunch of lies-

-looks at what guys said, sees a bunch of whining manginas in denial-

www.badassyoungmen.com/.../...ff-the-pedastal.jpeg

[BritGuy212]

These are the modern men that are holding us down. I wager that they read Feminist Daily.

[creepycreeper]

I agree they are holding us back.

[Fattuesdayz]

This is actually true, though most women are not conscious of it, I personally think.
We like a good chase and we like to fight for what we want. If he's too nice, we walk all over him. Some girls like those guys. I personally, do not. I don't want to manipulate a guy and always get my way. But I do not want to be disrespected either. Not a jerk, but not really a "nice" guy. I'm not a "nice" girl, and not every girl is, so we don't all want "nice" guys.

[BritGuy212]

Exactly. The problem with nice guys is that they propose no challenge. They wear their hearts on their sleeves.

[Trayus]

Agree, agree, oh and did i say agree? Gotta train your women better men. This means not letting her get away with crap just because she's a woman. Simply put, have a fkn spine. And if things go south... big deal, you can always get another, better one.

[BritGuy212]

You're the sanest one here.

[Trayus]

I clearly struck a nerve with the females and what I say is abjectly true. Relationships live and die, all people are disposable to each other. You had a boyfriend X years ago, now you have another one. Your existence alone doesn't make you particularly valuable to me as a man, as all women have vaginas. If you have the entitlement complex, I don't NEED to deal with you, as there's more women out there, that can offer more than a vagina to me.. A scary prospect if most men start putting themselves first as most of you do, I know...

[RationalLioness]

It's hilarious the bullshit that people come up with. Congrats for making me laugh. :P

1) Women are wired to go for jerks? Just like men are wired to fuck every wet hole that passes their way? Do you know how asinine that is to lump every single person with varying individual traits and personalities into a single entity?

2) "Pedastilise" is NOT a word.

3) YOU most certainly should not define anyone's relationships because you're ignorant. There are men who love to shower their women with gifts---they can if they want to. There are women who love men who put their woman before anything because and some will do the same to him.

Many relationships don't work due to incompatibility. I can make up many possible scenarios based off of what you said... but that doesn't mean it doesn't work AT ALL.

4) Please use some common sense.

[sailorjupiter]

yup agreed, this post is full of arrogance and ignorance. forever alone post, lolz

[muspelhem_5]

It comes down to: Don't be a nuisance.

Most people don't want to hang out with a self-effacing lapdog, because it puts you in an uncomfortably unearned superior role.

But for women, it goes further: it causes physical disgust, i. e. is a major turnoff.

This does not mean you need to dominate her, just try to have some self-respect.

It's funny for me to be even talking about this, since I have major self-doubt myself, and will often act exactly this way.

Anyway, treating someone well is actually a proactive task. It requires initiative, energy, hard work. Acting like a lapdog is sort of easy: you just agree with everything the other person says and remain passive until prompted to do or say something. Not the same thing. And not that desirable.

[muspelhem_5]

Edit: While it does not mean you need to dominate her, people who lead are usually pretty attractive.

[PrincessTashaaaa]

Women do like nice guys. We just don't like guys who pretend to be nice just to get what they want.

Nice guy:
Asks you how your day was and listens to the answer.
Opens a door for you.
Thinks of you through out the day.
Thinks you're awesome, and tells you so, but also tells you where you're wrong.
Is mature enough to have an argument with, without it turning into a fight.
Appreciates your gifts, and buys you things YOU would like.
Doesn't compare you to other girls.

Jerk:
Uses you only for show.
Doesn't give a fork how your day was.
Checks out other girls.
Picks apart your flaws.
Ditches you or stands you up.
Picks his buddies over you.
Calls you his bitch.

Jerk pretending to be Nice Guy:
Is nice to you, only hoping for sex.
Buys you things, hoping for sex.
Takes you places, hoping for sex.
Believes in the friend zone.

[AleDeEurope]

I agree with the title, we shouldn't put women on a pedestal, but I don't completely agree with the rest of your Take.
Just because you tell her she's beautiful doesn't mean you're putting her on a pedestal, it's just a compliment, you're flirting and want to let her know you're attracted to her.
But putting them on a pedestal just creates insecure men that think they're not enough for them, they create the "league" system, and basically stops them from approaching women causs they think women are better than them.

[BritGuy212]

"Compliments breed complacency. Critique breeds conciliation."

[angelling]

I disagree with this. Gifts and compliments shouldn't need to be earned, that's why they're gifts and compliments. Not all women feel this way, I fail to see how being called "beautiful, gorgeous, etc." = being pedestalised. Bottom line, not all women feel this way at all, no one should be pedestalised but I don't think this take accurately portrays what being pedestalised is.

[OpenClose]

I agree. Putting women on a pedestal is not about giving them "unearned" things.

by the way, I like the idea of giving gifts, but if a girl doesn't reciprocate much, then I'll certainly lose motivation to do so.

It's not so much the money that bothers me, nor chivalry, nor any of that. It's the EXPECTATION of all of that.

It's kinda like a girl is making herself a sandwich. She'd probably be thinking "Oh, hey, I should make my boyfriend one while I'm at it!" Then before she can start, her boyfriend shouts "Hey, be a good woman and make me a sandwich while you're in the kitchen, would you?"

"F*** no I won't! Come make your own damned sandwich!"

Same applies to guys giving gifts or being chivalrous. Especially if you are the type to analyze everything until it is misogyny, then we'll start doing an analysis of our own.

But that brings me to the main point. Putting women on a pedestal is not about being nice to women. It is about ignoring their flaws, or putting up with shitty treatment.

[Aeon_Flux_21]

Angel you forget one thing. All women are enslaved to their instincts as are men. Why do you think women like tall guys and badboys? Girls like the power and status of a man.

[angelling]

Ok, Aeon, you're lumping everybody in the same boat. I do not like bad boys and I don't like tall guys because I'm very short myself. Things just aren't as black and white as that.

[angelling]

Yes I agree Open, no one should have an expectation of such things.

[Bonnie12I27I12]

there's a difference between a nice guy and one who kisses up to you. its really annoying when a guy keeps saying "you're really beautiful" or "you're amazing". if you want to compliment a girl then make it smooth and do it in a flirty way every once in a while. not every single day unless she's your girl.

[sailorjupiter]

well, whoever create this Take...
you're totally not understand women AT ALL
this is exactly the best way to get rejected and ignored by ladies, I guranteed

[ruskodisco]

I agree.
But feminism these days and the modern women just makes us men checkout of society and not even ever think about dating or marriage.
Millions of men are waking up and just saying "screw this" and avoiding females all together.
Good luck young females, cause you ladies are about to get competitive.

[RajeshTheJeshter]

Good kid. 18 years old and you already figured this out? Goddamn I envy you. How in the hell did this happen?

My favorite comment on here was the forty-year-old woman lecturing you on growing up. lol. While she admits as much that you are more or less spot on.

I wonder what her deal is? And why isn't she at work?

[CityBoy773]

You should have named this "The douchebags guide to women."

[BritGuy212]

That has a nice ring to it. Thanks. :D

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

Although I do not agree with most of what you say, putting the pussy on a pedestal is a problem. Especially when they then realise she shouldn't have been there in the first place.

[bloodmountain1990]

Agreed. There's millions of women out there and they have flaws and make mistakes just like us men do. So ask yourself this? Are you perfect? No? Then why is the women you like perfect. They need to be treated as equals.

[CumminsTomic]

From my experience I actually agree with this. Follow your career goals and the right girl will follow you. Don't chase the girl. But it is so hard to do sometimes... loneliness is hard

[LightsOff]

Doing your own thing is good but don't expect her to be ok with you constanly trying to dominate her and force her to "play by your rules" as the take owner said. A lot of what the take owner said is complete bullshit and I hope you understand that.

[CumminsTomic]

Yeah im not going to extreme as in this take, just general idea.

[RationalLioness]

Any guy who puts his career before his woman is unattractive to me.

[CumminsTomic]

@RationalLioness Well thanks so I wouldn't want someone like you. I want a girl that can respect my career and not be a ego bitch like my ex

[RationalLioness]

Respecting your career is different. But putting placing your career as more important as someone is pathetic in my eyes. *shrugs*