Relationship, hook up, friends with benefits, booty call, call it what you want but make sure your needs are getting met!

[sjoes006]

People often enter into one of the above described relations with false hopes and expectations of it becoming more or the person being something that they are not. Here's the thing though, while in commited longer-term relationship you do need to make concessions to your partner's best interest at times, in the others you should be keeping the eye on you. Because no one else is and if the relationship isn't serving you and your needs then why are you in it?

Often times when a title isn't given to the relationship it starts out as casual but if it persists long enough uneven needs/ expectations develop between the two partners. Because they have a title of friends with benefits, hook up or whatever the person wanting more is made to feel like they have no right to ask for it because they aren't official. The thing is- You do!

You have that right to ask for what you are wanting and needing. They do not have to give it to you, they have the right to say this is all I have to give right now. But that doesn't change how you are now feeling. Sometimes the other partner will get upset and feel as though you are changing the terms, as if you two entered into some kind of legally binding contract. But hey it's 'casual', right? It's free and flowing and when it isn't working for you, you have the right to realize that with and address it with them.

My point is that it is natural to want to hold on to these relationships longer than they are working for us because at one point it was and we like this person. But realize when it isn't working, get closure and get out. Once you feel the pangs of emotion that aren't being returned it is time to severe ties. You can hang on for scraps but the damage of doing so can unravel one.

Hey hook ups work for some people but usually only for a short period of time. Sometimes they turn into love ever after but that is the exception. Be fair to yourself and look after YOURSELF, know when it isn't working anymore and have the strength to walk away to something that does. Best

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

I feel like too nice poeple should read this. Everyone elseis looking after themselves so dont feel bad about looking out for yourself. Who cares if you come off as an asshole, you do not owe anyone anything. Except in sex, i feel like if you get you should give. Otherwise its just a oneway thing and its extremely boring.

[sjoes006]

Thanks I really like this comment. Some women, especially young women tend to give much more than they expect to get but this take is certainly meant for the kind hearted man in love with an emotionally detached woman.

The thing is in a relationship you are somewhat obligated to each other but without that title sometimes people feel they can't speak how they are feeling. And when they do and are shamed for it they just go 'okay' and continue with the thing that doesn't fit anymore. This is what I see on this site. But it so is t the way life works. It is t the way jobs work, friendships or 'hook ups'. Yet people hang on to hook up situations in quiet desperation. No judging I get it but just call it.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

I've had girlfriends who would give me blow jobs and not expect me to return the favor lol. Not going to lie, I really enjoyed that. But I was just scared to go down on them because it's gross when you don't really know them. I had another girlfriend my junior year where we were really close and that was the only way I was able to go down on her because I knew her really well and she was a really clean girl. In life, people are always trying to get more then they give. I don't blame them, they are looking out for themselves. So I always make sure I ge what I want because if I don't then who will. This is especially important for girls because people try taken advantage of them all the time.

[NatashaJ]

You both makes sense and I'm tired of giving a lot in a relationship and not getting what I want or at lease some respect. Got out of a relationship of 3 years because he can't make up his mind and he treats me like shit and barley gave me respect anymore. Now I realize I refuse to put up with people shit anymore if he disrespects me 3 times he out and great mytake.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

So does des this mean im in the lead for male mho?

[sjoes006]

MHO isn't given in my takes.

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Why not, cmon.

[iamyourneighbor]

Very informative and non judgmental take

[iamyourneighbor]

I think these types of relationships should be avoided all that they together this avoid heartbreak

[sjoes006]

I definitely agree. But they are some common today. Often times it is just a way of being in a relationship while trying to skirt any responsibility to the other person by one of the parties while the other party is wanting more. These types of sotuations are meant for a month or two at best but sometimes I see them drag on for yearssss. No people no!

[iamyourneighbor]

Trust me I know

[Scrambledagain]

Love this take, some advice that many people were not given when growing up. I also include prostitutes and pick up artists for men as some guys can't get their needs met because they are shy, nice or ugly (or a combo of all 3)

[rjroy3]

They actually did that in ancient China. Had the boy practice having sex with prostitutes

[Scrambledagain]

@rjroy3 They do this in Italy too. The men get pro's to practice for their intended future lover. Fun article to read.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Sex is not for self-affirmation and self-validation. The idea that it is, is one of the most destructive lies ever fed to our generation.

[SonicRiver]

Exactly I don't do casual we are either in a relationship or we aren't.

[alfonsosloan45]

That is an interesting position.

[SonicRiver]

An interesting position is wanting to be exclusive?

[Dave20152]

What some people have a hard time doing though is saying no, and keeping it no. If you give in to somoene, you're deafeating yourself. Have some respect

[medical2523]

So what if I never had any of those and my needs aren't being met

[LordZero]

So far, I've only had sex with prostitutes. Never had a ONS, friends with benefits, or girlfriend.

[iamyourneighbor]

Are you serious? You look attractive though

[iamyourneighbor]

Sorry I mistaked you for another user because of your username.

[verticallyinsecure]

lol this was funny

[LordZero]

@iamyourneighbor

Tbh, the girls I had sex with weren't real prostitutes. They were just college girls looking for money. The found me attractive I guess, but they were also looking for money. I mean they could've ran away from me once I gave them the money, but they decided to stay anyway. I don't know what is an appropriate term for girls who are willing to have sex with me but are also looking for money, too. I guess it was somewhat like a ONS, then. They gave me their numbers, too. I felt that they were sexually inexperienced just like me, I ended up having to take control of sex since they didn't really know how to be dominant. It's fine though, the girls and I ended up enjoying the sex, but I think they liked it better than me because they never had sex with a guy like me, plus I'm larger than average because all of them were shocked when they saw how big my penis was, LOL.

[kitty71]

Im not getting any of those for a long time hehe

[BackInGame]

Women's and hot guys' hobby.

[WhatTheHellAmy]

Good mytake!

[James19]

Very nice take