Men Who Like Curvy Women: My Boyfriend Doesn't Like My Figure?

[redrumey]

This is my SOS to men who date women with the opposite figure they prefer.
I've been in a relationship for nearly four years. I'm very happy with it, but my personal insecurities have me questioning whether he is. His ideal female figure is curvy. I do have curves, but he would like me to gain weight to become even curvier than I already am. I have body dysmorphic disorder - I have an incredibly warped sense of myself and feel my body is larger than it really is, which affects my eating habits, socialization and self esteem. I was heavier in high school and worked hard to lose weight, so to gain it back would be incredibly difficult for me. He is aware of this and has been nudging me to gain weight since we first started dating - taking me to restaurants and "anciently" ordering a larger portion, extra dish, or flat out telling me I should eat more. At first I was able to ignore it, but after all this time of being told to change my appearance, I'm beginning to fear he no longer, or never has, found me attractive. I've become so insecure, I'm afraid for him to touch my body because I don't want him to be disappointed. If I gain weight, I will be even less happy with my body. But if I don't, I'm afraid my boyfriend will never be happy with it.
I guess my question is:
Guys, what is your opinion on girls who aren't your preferred body type? Have you dated them? Did it work out? Is there a compromise that can be made?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you to everyone who replied c:

[Azara]

this has nothing to do with him preferring curvy women or you not being curvy. he dated you and bingo he's trying to change you and he's extremely controlling and completely inappropriate. he's crossing all sorts of boundaries. obviously you were not comfortable at a higher weight. dont change your body for anyone. your body will be with yo your entire life.,

also he sounds extremely unhealthy as a boyfriend. i would not stay with someone like that. the fact you think the issue is you're not his ideal, is worrisome. he manipulating you like crazy. and he thinks its ok., and im not sure yo dont think the same. you got to start standing up for yourself before you expect anything anyone tells you to do.

IMHO tell him to fuck off if he doesn't want to date you thats his decision, but you are who you are and he has no right to mess with that. im seeing so many guys trying to change their gfs-- its sick.

i wish you luck and hope you come to a solution that brings you strength and opener. take care :)

[justbanANNAz]

gosh...

all ill say is this. 4 years is a long time, so I'm already sure he loves who u r as a person. he also MUST be attracted to u physically.
If he wants u to gain weight, u need to question his intention. if he's worried about your health, i think he's a great guy. if ur already healthy and happy with where ur at, then he's trying to change u up to suit his own image of how he'd like u to look and that is NOT. KOOL.

its your body girl. i think ur the only one who should have a say as to how u want to look. if a man doesn't like that, u dont need to change yourself to suit it. dont lose yourself for someone else.

for your sake, i hope his intentions are good.

[kopperheadroad]

So what your saying is your boyfriend told you hé like curvy girls and you are not curvy plus you surfer a condition that mâles you sée yourself like u were in a d'un housse miror? Punch him in the throat.

[skeptic007]

I've gone out with skinny women,,, big women,, and medium women I like something about each of them
1) skinny girls I love the fact that I can put u over my shoulders and carry you to the room and have my way with you so much fun tossing you around lol
2) medium girls I love the fact that you're thick in all the right places and when you cook ladies its soooooooooo sexy can't help myself
3) big girls you're bodies are sooo much fun everything you do is so soft and feels so nice and omg that booty just wiggles

AND EVEN THOUGH FEMALES DO SO MANY WRONG THINGS I STILL LOVE THEM CAUSE I KNOW DEEP DOWN INSIDE THEY JUST WANT LOVE

[sobg71124]

That's a really fancy name for what pretty much every young girl suffers from. Hey, I'm thinking what a great excuse to put on a little weight. I also like thicker/curvy girls too. I have been with girls who are too overweight and nudged them toward losing, but I could see myself doing the same things as he is with you! What a man is physically attracted to isn't going to change much (although maybe influence a little by the girl he is with - that's partly how I came to love curvier girls). I would try to compromise. Agree to put on, say, 25 pounds, but that's all. (you do look very skinny in your photo)

[redrumey]

Thank you for your opinion. I appreciate that you took the time to answer my post. The profile picture previously wasn't me. I typically put up artsy photographs, not realizing it may cause confusion

[sobg71124]

Oh, I see. Well, then maybe whatever number you guys both agree on would seem reasonable.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

I've dated plenty of chicks that weren't my type. The ones that were more hooked up on that fact was them.

I'm glad you feel differently about it. You are one of the few people who think a relationship goes deeper than looks. It never worked out with the others because of their insecurities. Always thinking I was on the look out, always bugging me about it, always feeling bad about it. You know, your basic drama. But yeah it was never about their size.

It's kinda sad that your b/f is making you do this, he sounds like a dickhead. Also, this is kind of the reverse of what I thought would happen. I've never heard a story where a dude is trying to get his girl to gain weight.

[redrumey]

Thank you for your opinion. I appreciate that you took the time to answer my post. I wasn't sure if this was a common issue, so I'm glad to see it from a man's perspective

[sobg71124]

I am not at all attracted to skinny/petite girls. I have passed over plenty of girls for that reason. If you're not attracted, you're not attracted. There's not much that will change that, but to soften her up a bit!

[Tractorbeam]

I'd define a curvy woman as one with a waist/hip ratio close to 70%. Anything above 80% is unhealthy for a woman.

[Anonymous]

Many men settle for girls. You're likely being settled for.

[MrScTi]

Lol.

[Anonymous]

Well, wouldn't he have to be a lions head, so he could go after you?