I am shocked at how many shallow and spiteful men there are. Looks like the previous generation of women really screwed you guys up. I mean, why would anyone dump someone because of their face value? I'd say that it would take a lot more than the guy was shorter or is missing a limb for me to dump him. It would be awkward and take a bit to get used to, but not dump-worthy. I mean, it may be part of the reason later on because I still have an awkwardness about it, but I would not dump a guy soley for that. I need an emotional connection, and if he is lacking in that department then I would consider dumping him.
Besides, since when is dating not a commitment to you people? My boyfriend and I are in a commited relationship, we are not married, we are young. We don't leave each other on a whim, especially since we live thousands of miles apart. I have a few emotional issues, but he has never left me yet. He has anger issues, but I'm not going any where. I'm overweight, he doesn't care. He thinks he's chubby, I don't see it. I think there are a lot of people out there who need to re-evaluate what dating really means, the pathway to finding someone for the long term.
Now as for all of you guys who think women shouldn't be taken seriously, I think you need to be smacked. Equality is important, but I agree feminism has gone too far. Equal jobs, yes. Equal household chores, yes. Equal laws, yes. But unfortunately, some women are trying to over throw the men and say we're better, and change things to the extreme. Guys need to have their things too, no-one is better and no-one is worse. But we cannot limit each other to women's work and men's work. What if a guy likes fashion or design? He should be able to get that kind of job and not be limited to 'typical male roles'. What if a woman enjoys law enforcement? She should be able to do that and not be forced to stay home with the kids and clean, stuck in a 'typical female role'.
As for this guy, I say he was a shallow jerk, and that if the girl doesn't want this to happen again she may need to find a more mature guy(mentally, he doesn't have to be old), which will probably be easier since most that approach her will be the type to overlook that missing finger, already proving they are mature. Overall, she's better offf without him, and I hope she finds someone better who will truly care for her. I wish your friend luck~
My partner f***ed his hand up royally at work several years ago. When it first happened we thought it was going to be OK with a couple surgeries but it isn't. It is very messed up and is never going to look or work the same. I actually have to massage it almost every night cause the tendons tighten up drastically on some days. And he is going to have to deal with that the rest of his life so I have no idea what we are going to do when we are in our 50's if it's this bad in his 20's.
When he hurt it he went through months of depression about how it was going to affect his work and how he was so young and had to deal with something like this. And he had to do lots of rehab and a lot of surgeries to get it to where it is now.
There are a lot of things that happen when someone is changed physically for good. The person needs a lot of support, love, and acceptance for the rest of their life. It's been years since he originally hurt his hand and he still loves when I kiss his hand and tell him it's my favorite hand. If you are a selfish person and you don't love the person who was hurt, you don't think how this has affected their life. You only think how it affects yours. Your friends boyfriend only cared that he went from being the guy with a hot girlfriend, to the guy who was with a girl with a handicap so to speak. He stopped seeing her and all he saw was how she now reflected on him. Especially if one of the reasons he originally wanted to be with her was her looks. He also was probably realizing how much care and love she needed in the following months and he chose not to give that to her. He can hardly tell her it's going to be OK when he is only thinking how much his life sucks now.
I'm sure it's heartbreaking to your friend cause someone just told her that she isn't valuable beyond her body parts. I hope you guys support her and give her lots of love during this time. And while dating might be harder for her now because less men will probably be hitting on her, she will probably end up finding a man who cares more about her as a person and not how she makes him look.
that is pretty sad. The thing is though, they weren't married.. when you get married you stick with someone through every thing no matter if it is getting paralyzed or whatever it is and if you don't then you shouldn't have married that person because you truly don't love them! you just love thier body! If she is beautiful with a great body and personality then one day one guy is going to thank him for letting her go... just think at least it was just a finger... what if she is with him for like 20 years and gets both legs cut off and she really needs him, at least right now she is still indepentant! And I would be sad without a finger but its just a flaw. She will still make that SPECIAL man happy one day!
Obviously it depends. Don't be upset over this because guys often find something to get out of relationship. He probably didn't like her or saw her as a someone he wants to sacrifice his life,heart, and emotions, and actions to stay and share with life. If he felt that, he needed to end the relationship but was very idiot enough to know relationships can be ended in smooth friendly way but chose the worst time to damage his girlfriend. Personally, I consider someone who lives love ones simply because someone happen to them as not much smarter than bids can't remove their boobs from the fences they sleep. Very stupid. However, you also have to understand your girlfriend and her boyfriend know more than they know each other. She might have hunted his feelings so many times that he felt it is the best time to take the revenge. She might not remember or assumes it is not the case but this seems he is taking revenge to the its highest bid. He want to hurt her so bad she feelings dumped because she is "handicap" now. Well she is not and figure might not even limit her abilities. However, you should tell your friend that she is lucky because such a jerk who interested her this way when she was in weakest state, deserves no respect, remembrance, or women. She is lucky their relationship ended sooner because imagine if she married this jerk? It would have been disaster if she had children with him. She is lucky and knows the left her for good. Tell her is fortunate and lucky to be liberated from a jerk and deserves a magnanimous gallant man who treats her with special care ALL THE TIME.
lets see, women dump men because they are needy, women reject men because they are a nice guy and not a bad guy, women dump men because he canot read her mind and satisfy her sexually.
if I had the time or energy I could come up with a long list of what women reject men for that is just plain cruel.
and you know what...women tell men to "GET OVER IT!"
so you know what? tell yer friend with the missing finger to "GET OVER IT"
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On the whole, I agree with all the previous posters: she's lucky she lost the ass.
However, I am going to play Devil's Advocate just a bit, using my real life as an example. What if he was going to break up with her anyway and the finger got in the way?
Many years ago I was dating a girl. She was a lot of fun, pretty, yada, yada, yada. But I wasn't feeling it anymore and it was time to move on. ON THE VERY DAY I was planning to break up with her, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. The next day she had a radical hysterectomy. For two months after that she was receiving chemo... I didn't break up with her on the day I had planned because that was, well, cruel. Instead, I waited almost three months. Now, there was nothing between us that I hated. I visited her everyday and supported her through it all. But the fact was, I wanted to break up. And eventually I did when the timing was right. So what I'm saying is, what if he wanted to break up earlier AND DIDN'T so that she wouldn't have to deal with too much at once?
But, for the record, I doubt that was the scenario and I think he's an ass - she should consider herself lucky.
Well... They aren't married, that's a pretty big deal in this whole thing. Girls need to stop acting as if their boyfriend is their soulmate. Not to say that the depth of a relationship is defined by titles, but seriously at such a young age a boyfriend is pretty much nothing.
And we can't know whether or not this guy has a weak stomach when it comes to gore and mutilation. Just looking at her stump might have made him queasy.
To me one lost finger doesn't take away from the whole package. But it is understandable why he wouldn't like it. Don't kid yourself, you would never date a guy with really noticeable bad teeth. Huge brown stains, crooked, and some missing. Different levels of beauty exist for different people.
Some guys make all guys look bad.This is the biggest pile of Horse Shit I have ever heard.You think the girl I love and tells she is beautiful everyday am gonna leave her because of a finger?Even if she was blind I would stay with her and love her and I would not be going anywhere even if she put a restraining order on me.This guy sounds like a ****.Love is blind it see no color no disability or any thing else that falls in the bottom with those things. Can you please give her my number am so serious.
it definitely is shallow but that's how many guys are. Appearances mean a lot to a young guy.
She will eventually find someone who likes her and doesn't care about the finger.
Girls can be just as shallow however. I've seen women leave a guy after he's lost his job or his house.
Its when you're expecting something to be a certain way and then things change that people don't like.
Thats why women don't like it when a guy loses his money and why men don't like it when a woman gets fatter.
When we have gotten what we want, we don't then want to downgrade especially if we know we could get what we want again.
its human nature. Some people have fought past the shallow and visceral human behavior. They are the best of us
=^.^=
I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the guy and your guy friends. They're not married. If they were married and he did that, yeah, messed up. But that's one of the many reasons they're not married yet. That's what it means to not be married. It means that if someone better comes along, or if something happens, you can abandon ship. Why? Because you have your whole life ahead of you, and you haven't committed yourself to anyone.
It's no different than guys who leave their girlfriend because she gained weight, started showing signs of aging, or simply because they found someone younger or better-looking.
It's no different than girls who leave their boyfriend because he lost his job or fell out of shape, or simply because they found someone more successful or better-looking.
That's life. It's not the guy's fault. It's not her fault. It's fate's fault. If she wants to be angry at someone, it should be whatever caused her finger to get chopped off.
I can't count how many men have come back from the war missing legs and arms, and faces blown up..and their GFs AND wives leave em...and we have a woman whining over a FINGER?
get some damn perspective ladies!
women have no problem providing drama, but they can't take the drama!
That avatar on your profile, ladyinred1989, is of a girl with a great body and she seems to be missing parts of TWO fingers. So, I think it's you who got dumped by that jerk. He apparently didn't really love you. Having an accident and losing parts of two fingers, for me, is not a leaving offense. People do terrible things to people they care about for little or no reason. Yes, it royally sucks.
However, there are good people out there who would never do such a thing to the one they love. Dana Reeve stayed with her husband, Christopher Reeve, until his death after he was stupid enough to get himself thrown from a horse which turned him into a quadriplegic. It was not so recently in the news about a returning Marine Veteran who had lost both of his hands in combat. A special house is/was being built for him and his wife who apparently has no intentions of divorcing him because of his severe handicap.
This really p*sses me off because there are so many guys that tell their GIRLFRIENDS (for those guys who said they werent married so he didn't owe her anything),they love them so much and would'nt care if they wore no make-up and wore sweats and sh*t all day they would still care for them and love them just the way they were!,
they're bullsh*ttin ,mostly everything in a relationship is from a physical aspect,and it shows perfectly in this example if theirs a blemish or somethings happened to a women that makes them not as perfect as they were when you met them ,then their just not good enough anymore.
And yet you men sit there and say your sick of women rejecting you and breaking up with you because of all these stupid little things,you have no one to blame but yourselves.
tell your friend not to dwell on this she needs to pick herself up and move and ,but also realize she can do better with someone who cares for her and thinks she's beautiful inside out,:)
I see a lot of people jumping to conclusions here.
If I were in a 1 month-old relationship with some girl and she lost her finger, sh*t, I might leave too. Actually, odds are I would because that's just not attractive.
On the other hand, if it's an 8 month relationship and I have feelings for the girl, it's not so clear. The same thing for if a Girlfriend started having to take meds that made her pick up some pounds, IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW THE GUY FEELS ABOUT HER.
Just because she was his Girlfriend doesn't mean he has to stick with her through this.
A lot of women divorce their soldier husband when he gets disabled from fighting to protect the country... This is seriously the first time you've heard of anything like this? It's just a fact of life that people don't mean it when they say "I want to be with you no matter what." What they mean is "I want to be with you as long as it's still convenient for me." Regardless of which gender says it. Most people just won't go through much hardship for someone else.
In a twisted way, this is a funny situation. I don't favor the boyfriend decision for I believe that a person who leaves another for that reason is shallow beyond belief. So she lost a finger, I mean I'm sorry to hear, but that shouldn't be a deal breaker. And who gives a F**k if they're not married, its all about personal integrity and true acceptance when you're in any relationship. This is a new low in my book and its a sad thing to hear that men leave women for something so dumb. What if he lost his leg, how would he feel if she left him? In marriage, it says "...for better or for worst" makes you assume what will happen to his married life if something bad happens to his wife. Any man that will agree with the boyfriend is some one that I call a High Risk Heart Breaker. What goes around comes around!
That's silly. A missing finger? So what? As long as she's fine now...
Well, some guys are more picky about things than others.
See, to me, personality would matter more. Now if she was always complaining about the missing finger, etc., then maybe I'd leave if she was always whining about it; or if it's a result of her being habitually and dangerously klutzy (and this is not a rare incident), and if she never listened to me, then I might leave; not because of the finger, but a personality issue.
...but if she's got a great personality and the beauty factor, then I don't care about the missing finger.
I suppose that she can be glad that it happened when it did though; if the relationship were deeper, or they were married, that would be a lot more pain caused to her.
it's the girls problem for even caring. sorry, but whoever is the one that is being neglected is always the one with a problem, whether you're a girl or guy. that's life. harsh. does she want to be with the type of guy that would leave her because of that?
yeah, it's unattractive to have a missing finger. she probably has a broken heart, and it only makes it worse to hate the guy since she really just hates herself for loving him. tell her to accept the fact that her brain is crazy for him, and that she can just let those feelings be and to move on with her life, because suppressing those feelings will only make it worse.
she needs to pursue what she wants out of life and not worry about what others want from her.
answer my question please. thanks.
Maybe there is more to it than what you know. They could of been having problems before hand or he didn't see it has a serious relationship. Your defense for her is she is beautiful and has a hot body? How about she is nice or caring it is not all about the physical relationship. It is sort of a contradiction you say he left her over a physical aspect but defend her by using physical aspects.
Wow I'm sorry to hear about your friend. that shows that he didn't truly love her or care about her and was just with her for a good time. no they are not married, but his feelings for her were just not that deep to withstand something like that. just like say if a guy lost his job and his girl left him...then she never really cared about him at all to begin with. I'm sorry this happened to your friend but she should look at it like a blessing.. he left her and made room for a man who will truly care about her
Look at it this way: he did her a favor. If he's that shallow, she can do better. He wouldn't stand by her because she lost a finger? It's likely she'll face bigger problems as her life moves forward. If her boyfriend is stupid enough to leave her over something so small, how could she expect him to handle a real crisis? Everyone faces adversity in life. Men stand up to the challenge; little boys run away. Believe me, he did her a favor!
That is so what a guy would do. Men always complain how shallow women are because we care somewhat about looks, but we are not nearly as picky as them. We dont' care if they lose weight, have disabilities, we stick with a man thick & thin. But if a woman dared to gain weight, men would dump her like she was a piece of trash. It doesn't surprise me that this guy left this girl because she lost her finger. She no longer fits his perfect idea of a woman. I'm tired of men, I'm tired of their crap, & I'm tired of their shallowness. Women are so much nicer than men, why? Ug
Hey, that's too bad. Sh*t happens, just gotta deal with it.
But since I don't know more to this story, I'd say the guy was attracted to her sexually, but not emotionally. It takes time to create a bond between both, and sadly this bond wasn't strong on his side.
Hopefully, karma will come back and bite him in the ass. The next few women he approaches, I hope they reject him off one small fluke of his.
This really got me. Honestly, it would be really weird to approach a girl that was missing a finger, but if she was attractive and cool about it I would forget it quick. If I were in his shoes and already in a relationship, I wouldn't give a F**K. I'm actually thinking about this girl that I'm only now dating and if she lost a finger, I really wouldn't care one way or another, though it would take a little getting used to... for like a day.
its probably because you were dating her too, I don't know if I could stay with a girl who also had a girlfriend.
No but she lost a finger, have you ever recieved a 4 finger handjob? its not the same.
Oh the lulz.
Okay now seriously.
Yeah maybe he is a douche for that but its hard to stay with someone who is injured or sick for that matter and additionally they probably had previous relationship issues that were catalysed by this event.
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