Why would a guy start avoiding a girl he likes? I am VERY Confused

OK, there is this guy...it was like instant attraction when we met. He started pursuing me (flirting, wanting me to see him, and trying to get my attention). Well, I like him too. The flirting and signaling went on for months. He did little things to see how I would react, which I reacted to let him know I like him. Then I did little things and got reaction back as well. The talking kind of stopped though and when we saw each other we would just stare into each others eyes not saying a word, as nothing needed to be said, since the looks said it all. So even most recently I did something to let him know I like him, and got a mutual response back. So now we know we like each other, and now he is avoiding me. At least it feels that way, since he use to go out of his way to at least say hi or something. Why would a guy start avoiding a girl he likes (or at least acted like he does) that he knows likes him back? I don't understand it, as now of course I feel like he doesn't like me as I would expect things to move forward...not backward or stop. I am so confused now.

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I can relate. My crush did this to me since last summer. The flirting was so intense that at times I wanted to just scream, "either s*** or get off the pot"...lol. Then recently, the ignoring started and I saw him more and more with his ex (they have kids together). So, I've basically given up on this. I was hurt because he did all the same things that your crush is doing and then just dropped me. I am happy for him if they are back together. I don't wish any bad things on him. I just wish that he wouldn't have started flirting with me if he still had her on his mind. Hopefully, your guy is just shy or unsure and will eventually come around. It sucks that even older guys still play these games. Good luck!

    • Wow. Sorry that happened to you. People shouldn't pursue others if they still have loose ends with their ex. That is how people get hurt, such as yourself. With my guy, I am leaning toward the shy, unsure, afraid as you gals noted. I know very little about his relationship history, but what little I do know apparently he got married a long time ago and it was very bad, so I can see him being cautious..but he was the one initially pursuing me. Time will tell. Thank you for your input.

What Guys Said 3

  • 2mo

    only reason i would start avoiding my crush after i already established myself with her its either cause i saw something that was a red flag or i felt like she wasn't reciprocating my feelings for her so i would fall back to it won't hurt as much which is my current situation LOL

  • Hes testing you out and...guess what is working. Its a little immature but that's what he's doing. If it bugs you, then why don't you get him back with his own medicine, lets see if it bugs him the same way its bugging you. Then you will see if he really did like you for the long run. Nevertheless, good luck with everything, so be it.

    • Testing me out? I am not sure what you mean. All his current behavior is doing is making me frustrated and feeling like he doesn't like me. This is not going to benefit him, because I feel like I am being pushed away and then I will be less hesitant to want to get involved with someone who is so wishy washy and in and out.

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    • Ah, I get it. Thanks. Well, I do like him. But I am too old for games. If he really wants to see if I care about him, that is hard to do when someone avoids you. He can't even see if I am frustrated by doing that. ha ha :p Oh and I agree that I am confused because of him. I have never had this kind of problem and feel like he may have issues he needs to deal with himself.

    • Like I said in a way I don't blame him for doing this to see how you would react. But then again I do, because it seems like you do like him, but he's pushing you away in a very bad way. He's even confused me here a little lol. If I were him I would stop these games and let you both be together with no games but just the truth in general. Well either way, good luck with everything, it seems like your a good girl, and you both could work something out, good luck there ms.

  • There are some guys who think that ignoring a girl and making her feel like a scumbag will increase their value in that girl's eye. Believe me, it works for some girls. But relations are not bound by laws because every person is different but some guys do follow the same techniqu for all girls. Probably that's what is happening with you. I would suggest, either completely ignore him or tell him that you like him. When I say completely ignore, that means that even when he tries to get you to talk again by making you feel good still ignore him. Because the guy will try to make it an on off situation until you propose him yourself. all the best

What Girls Said 1

  • Okay maybe he afraid? Are you his first relationship? He might not no how to deal with his own feelings and yours. I think the best way to find out what's going on is to actually confront him and ask, your not going to get any answers by not doing that because only he can tell you what's going on. But honestly I think he does have feelings for you why would someone go out there way to make a conversation with you if he didn't have any feelings for you? But I do think you reallly need to speak 2 him because then at least you know where you stand with him! If he was just playing you along then at least you know what type of person he is now before you got in to a relationship with him and it would be his loss. Goooodluck!

    • Thanks! Being afraid did cross my mind. Or maybe that now we know how we each feel, he decided this is not what he wants to pursue after all. I would not be his first relationship...but it seems he doesn't have many of those. I am starting to see why. :(

    • I don't no, something must be wrong for him to behave like this all of a sudden expecially if has shown that he is intrested in you. But I really do think just ask him!

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