How can I become more of a jerk?

All the jerks are getting the girls. I am pretty confident and assertive and seems like that jerk quality is what I need. How can I be more of a jerk and less of a sweet guy? I need to turn sour.


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What Girls Said 50

What Guys Said 24

  • Selected as most helpful

    I'm gonna be perfectly honest...

    I LOVE jerks. Maybe it's because I'm young, I dunno. I just do. But being a jerk is NOT the same thing as being an asshole. I think it kind of stems from the idea that males are supposed to be the most raw of the sexes, and being a jerk sometimes gives a man the air of dominance. Girls get asked out SO often, every day, by men who try way too hard. It's sickly sweet, and it's boring. Being a bit of a jerk sometimes adds spice. It brings out the catty determination of women and that can cause a lot of sparks to fly. Girls enjoy a bit of a chase too. Like once, I was out with a group of friends and two pretty good looking guys came over. Guy 1 looks at my girlfriend and says something along the lines of; "That's a hot dress. You look amazing.", Guy 2 looked her up and down, obviously liked what he saw, smirked, and then said; "It would have looked hotter in red." That was it.

    Guess which guy she went for. Yeah. A lot of girls have very extroverted and outgoing personalities. They can pretty much get their way with anything, anyone, and not really have to try too hard to do it. So it's really thrilling when someone comes around and isn't afraid to roll his eyes at you and ignore you.

    What to do? When/if she tries to kiss you, pull away. That almost NEVER happens that a guy pulls away, and it will make her want to kiss you more. Poke fun at her intelligence. Women have a tendency to let their IQ drop a few points while flirting. If she says something silly, call her out on it. Don't ask. Just do. If you want to dance, don't ask her. Just take her hand and lead the way. She will follow. Be disinterested for a while. Allow yourself to notice other women while in her presence "discretely". It'll make her work even harder for your undivided attention. Basically, just turn it around so that she will end up doing most of the work to get you, that you would have done to get her.

    Now, the line is drawn when cocky or jerk becomes downright abuse or disrespect. Name calling of any kind, or touching a girl inappropriately is where the hotness becomes rude and intolerable.

    • Thanks very much :)

      And Anonymous, you missed my point entirely! They were "pretty good looking". Like, not hideous. Average. I never said they were hot :p

      And anyhow, they were both about the same level of attractiveness, but Guy 2 MADE himself the most attractive just by what came out of his mouth. A guy can get any girl he wants if he says the right things, I swear it. Just put your cocky suit on and keep thinking to yourself; "I'm hot sh*t" haha.

    • Well put answer.

    • The fact that you actually provided a legitimate answer unlike the other girls makes your answer best.

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  • lol, just be yourself, man!

  • You need to change your personality. Honestly, if you're thinking of becoming a jerk, then you're really not all that confident.

    • i just don't get what we nice good men suppose to do be mean or nice since nice won't get you a relationship and be a jerk gets you a relationship so if you don't mind please tell us what we need to do to improve our game and our self since they chase every jerks she sees I'm not complaining I notice some funny crazy and stupid stuff going on if you understood what I mean

    • one small problem when you say that women chase jerks all the time have sex with jerks and give jerks her virginity etc. so we suppose to be nice while she date jerks she is allow to complain about it and we suppose to help yet she she chase another jerks I say this because I notice crazy and stupid stuff going on what e need to do be a jerk to get a woman to like us or be nice and she won't give you a chance so what do us nice good men suppose to do be mean and abusive or be nice

  • We don't like jerks, we like aggressive guys. We like guys who will walk right up to us and start a conversation, guys who carry themselves with confidence and have opinions and beliefs. The problem with the typical "nice guy" is that he isn't stubborn in his beliefs at all. He will do anything for a girl he likes (such as change his opinions, passions, or beliefs to match hers). I am not saying to purposely disagree with a girl, but don't just change your mind because of what we think. And if you eventually come to share our opinions, that is fine, we can tell the difference.

    The problem with nice guys is that their biggest passion is the girl. How boring is that? Yes, it is flattering at first, but after a while it is just way to predictable. It is possible to love a girl without becoming obsessed. Girls tend to like guys who make us a part of their life, not the whole thing. Think about it, would you want to date a girl who was obsessed with you? A girl who just did everything you wanted her to without having her own thoughts? It would get boring after a while, and you would crave a real relationship.

    It isn't about being a jerk. It is about being yourself, always. Have your own life, be confident in yourself, and don't worry if girls like you or not. Just live your life. Have your own values, opinions, and passions. When you meet a girl you like, talk to her, flirt with her, make her feel like she is special. If you start to really like her, ask her out. Just do what you want to do and be confident that you can do it.

    • No, I would rather be single than have a doormat. "Give you whatever you want" isn't love, it's being whipped and putting the person on a pedestal. Flattering, at first, but after a while you start to crave a real relationship, with a person who can think for themselves. Not a desperate wimp.

    • So are you saying that you'd rather have some jerk who treats you like sh*t than a guy who will love you and give you whatever you want. That's screwed up. I mean what would you rather have, a guy who beats you and verbally abuses you and is unpredictable, or would you want a nice guy who won't cheat or abuse you and treat you like you should. I guess you'd want the abuser. Well I ain't like that and I never will even if I'm single until I'm old

    • This makes a lot of sense. My friend T-bag (thats what every1 calls him) is a perfect example of your"typical nice guy"he is the best gentleman a guy could be but the problem is A.hes way too much of a softy, he's not very assertive, kinda has self esteem issues and he's way too slow on the chase B. he puts the girl way up on a pedestal and kindof obsesses. When he's described girls he likes it kinda just comes across as creepy. I think the problem is guys like that come across as too desperate

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  • UGH! Dumb girls go for jerks. I had my fair share of jerks when I was younger, and I have been with my current boyfriend for three years, I love him to death, and he is a frickin teddy bear! I could never see myself being able to have a relationship with a jerky guy.

    • A lot of times around highschool/ earlier college age girls follow their heart without consulting their head. They follow their instincts to find a strong alpha male type of man. And who has the strongest alpha male personality? the type of guy who acts most like a predatory feral beast aka the typical asshole. These guys have their time to shine but later on most girls figure out how to balance their instincts with logic and end up going with more stable men who can actually take care of them

  • I don't care if the girls in your school like jerks, don't be one. If a girl likes you, you would want them to like you for who you are not someone who doesn't give a s**t what other girls think. And besides, girls like me like guys who are real gentlemen and cares for others.

    • Dont lie you go for jerks

    • You know you go for assholes

  • haha this question is so cute! also, it's not about being a jerk. it's just about being your awesome own cool self

  • Okay, nothing wrong with a little roughness, just so long as you retain that awesome good-guy core. So. Be just a little standoffish, like you are glad they are around but equally glad if they are not... Be a little dominant/disciplinarian (like a dad figure kinda-girls are kinkier than most of us realize.) And definitely poke fun at them a little but not all the time, if you think you can pull it off. Be very slightly critical but not in a way they will take too personally. Let me know how that goes for ya. :)

  • lol. like what the say about girls.

    The hoes could get all the guys.. I'm one of them... and I don't like it.

    am never trusted. I have a fiance now, and he doesn't even trust me.

    same thing goes to guys who are Jerks.

    • I don't think you know this but some guys find hoes to be a big turn on

  • trust me I know what you mean. Jerks act like they don't care and girls flock to them. they want what they can't have and that asshole quality makes the guy ;hot;...but wanna know a secret? They DONT marry or end up with the girls, nice guys do. If you want to be a bit more jerkish without being too nice cause you don't want anyone to take advantage, just don't seem to care sooo much in the beginning of a relationship to get the girl to come to you...but after that you can let go and be yourself. Don't be too mean or too nice, that's the way to go.

    • Why do girls assume nice guys let people take advantage of them? There is a huge difference between a nice guy and a pushover.

  • dont do that ! the world needs sweet guys, there a dying breed! stay true to your self and the right girls will be drawn to you ! Only girls with low self esteem go for jerks cos they don't love them selfs so they put up with being treated sh*t... you want a girl who likes her self is happy fun nice and cute, so if you keep putting your confident energy out there and like yourself you will meet people in no time...

    As if youd want to change your self to be like guys that aren't happy in them selfs and treat people bad ! Come on ... that is so NOT good !

    • No more like by the time there 30. think of it between 25 and 30 the girl will realize she's been dating a-holes all her life and chose the nice guy. Which is good to an extent. But I'd rather be first choice. Not a leftover

    • Hes right, girls go for d***holes alot, those relationships never last but they like the "cool" and mean kind of thing. At least in like highschool, more maturity they are more likely to go for nicer guys.

    • Girls away say this, but when it comes down to it, they always choose the jerk.

  • Stay a nice guy. Jerks get the girls faster, but they lose them when the girls get a clue. It may take nice guys longer to get girls, but the nice boys are always the keepers.

    • i mean may I ask if it's offensive I'm sorry I'm just wondering until when when she have a baby or until she hits her mid 20's and older and she is abuse by her ex oh wait she goes to another jerk I ask because I notice some crazy and stupid stuff a woman get abuse then nice guy help her or she comes to nice guy for recovery then she left him for another jerk what's up with that

    • may I ask if it's offensive I'm sorry I'm just wondering until when when she have a baby or until she hits her mid 20's and older and she is abuse by her ex oh wait she goes to another jerk I ask because notice some crazy and stupid stuff a woman get abuse then nice guy help her or she comes to nice guy for recovery then she left him for another jerk what's up with that

  • women like jerks but in the end we just want a nice guy. look...all the nice guys end up getting married and having a nice life, all the jerks out there are players and end up being afraid of commitment and by the time they want to commit they are old and rusty and the girl he wants is married to a nice guy.

    • By "in the end" you mean after she's screwed all the jerks she could, is getting older and now they're not interested in her anymore, because they want the young ones. Yeah, THAT's when the nice guy comes in to save the day huh? Cool...

    • Yeah, and then the couple ends up divorcing because the nice guy gets fatter and loses his hair, and the divorcee becomes a cougar LOL sorry I just had to say it

  • Are you kidding me?

    NO, STAY a nice guy!

    • But the duche bag got in your pants faster

    • I've dated a lot of nice guys.

      And those relationships were the ones that were waaay better than douche bags I dated.

    • LOL that's easy for you to say... but tell me how many nice guys you've dated before giveing him useless advice. if he can ge more sex by being a jerk then why the hell should he stay a nice guy? asking a nice guy to stay nice is like asking soa hotel for a reservation ... you better give

  • Wow, you are clearly missing the point. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE JERKS. Women's attractions to men have nothing to do with good vs. bad, if anything, women prefer nicer guys. The reason bad boys or jerks get any play at all is because edgy men have a tendency to be more assertive and confident. They don't make excuses, blame their inability to nab girls on other guys, twiddle their thumbs in the background and wait for someone to move in on their target, and they stand up for themselves and their women. A lot of people who describe themselves as 'nice' or 'shy' are really just trying to find nice words for fearful. If you like a girl, don't procrastinate. Don't try to be the best friend right off the bat. ASK HER OUT. If you decide she'd make a better friend, you can discuss that after a few dates. 'Jerks' aren't afraid to make eye contact, have open body language, protect women, and stand up for themselves. If you want to turn more sour and still have the same behavior you must presently have, you aren't going to have any more luck getting women. Women are attracted to confident and assertive guys who aren't afraid to approach them or look them in the eye and are more than happy to defend themselves of their girls when a situation calls for it. Period.

    • No offense to you, but what's the point of getting out there and trying to be assertive when girls reject you anyways. Heck one time I was just trying to have a conversation with a girl and the stuck up bitch told me "go away and go eat some cake fat ass" It's like all girls see is that I'm fat, when in reality I workout 5 times a week at least an hour at atime. I'm just a thick dude okay hun. It just seems like girls are just bitches who don't know what they want, they don't want nice guysmosttime

  • Do not become a jerk. The way to really get a girl is to be her friend... be nice, have fun with her, talk to her, show her who you really are. Girls are just going to get their heart broken if they go out with jerks...

    • Yah being a friend works out so great, because I''ve had so many GF's. Yeah right, you becoem a girl's friend you becoem like a brother , at least that's my experience. It happens a lot to an uggo like me, I'm confident and stuff yet because I'm fat and stuff they don't think of me romantically.

    • Don't get really close to the girl. Just get to where she knows what kind of person you are.

    • That's not fair. Sure it's easy for you to say.... but are you going to date me? I waste time being friends with a girl and then 6 months later I get rejected.

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  • link

    Check it out.

  • Stay the way you are. Girls will date the jerks, but would never marry them.. They are just play toys to have fun with for a little while.. but when we are ready to settle down and marry.. We ALWAYS come looking for the nice guys. I for example have always been attracted to the nice nerdy guys. They are always the best boyfriends. Don't change who you are, or you will just become a play toy.

    • Lol actually not really, he always messagesme .. No matter how many times I tell him to leave me alone and I block him, he;s always trying to get me back. So you will be miserable because no girl is ever going to want to marry you.

    • If I get dumped by some chick, so what that's life it happens, take some time off and find another girl, it's that simple. You may have dated a jerk and dumped him, but do you think he's crying in the corner right now, hell no he's probably happy with another girl, maybe even married.

    • Thats not true. I used to date jerks in high school, and so did all my friends.. but after high school we dumped those guys, cause they weren't worth it, and started the look out for the nice guys, and now we're all engaged to the nice guys. Never been happier! We regret not talking to them sooner back in high school. So eventually Tex.. you will get dumped for a nice guy.

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  • jerk guys don't get the girls.. its the way you are the personality that attracts girls to u.girls should know that once a guy is a jerk the relationship ant ganna last so long because there just ganna hurt you like a jerk that they are girls need to start falling for sweet guys because that's what they need in there lifes a nice sweet guy who loves and care for them

  • If girls are dating jerks they're idiots. The thing that attracts girls most is confidence. So if you're a sweet guy and shy, you should definitely come out of your shell and girls will be all over you :). Girls might like the jerks because they mistake their douche-iness as confidence...

    but in all honesty, bold guys (with confidence but NICE) have always attracted me the most...

    • Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn at your pic

  • Girl's attraction to the 'jerk' is that we feel like we can change him, that we can make him nice, or that we can bring out his other side and have him be nice to us and nobody else, giving us a special feeling that we're important because he's only nice to us. Being confident and assertive are great qualities, but when it comes to being a complete jerk to girls, we really hate that. Naive girls will be more attracted to a guy who is rude and brushes her off, when most smart girls will forget the guy. It's much like when girls think guy's like 'the chase' when really, most guys don't. No advice for you on becoming a jerk, but I would say becoming more confident and outgoing would be a definite plus ;)

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  • i know what you mean dude but please don't let the so call bitches and hos to destroy us nice guys and good decent men and our reputations for being nice and good men let them be single mothers it's their fault not yours keep trying and if they reject you just once because you are nice then forget them let them get pregnant with jerks you are better then this.While those bitches and hos pardon my french date jerks and she lives on the street being single mothers with nothing at all no money no house no thing if you know what I mean and you get a life,a wife loves you for who you are and you have a job and a nice car and a nice house/a nice apartment I hope this helps a fellow nice guy/a good decent man and good luck dude and let's see who have the last laughs and if you got anything to ask me or if you got any questions you like to ask me feel free to ask me and I will see if I can answer your question.

  • its called growin a d***

  • From what I've seen, jerks can 'get chicks', but the good 'nice' guys (not pushover pussies, just nice) end up with quality relationships. If you want to just have fun and 'get chicks' being a bit of a jerk would probably help. Just act like you don't give a sh*t about them and they'll go for it. Although, I shouldn't talk as I am in a very similar situation as you. I guess it depends on how much you want or are willing to change your personality.

    Good Luck!

  • I know what you mean. I think the perception of being a nice guy is just enough to put most women off.

    This guy was annoying me and a few of my friends at a party, so I choked him out then threw my drink on his crotch, and waited till he woke up and sat back and watch everyone laugh at him. All the girls who have previously ignored me for the last hour who saw me do that, suddenly wanted to talk to me. I usually don't do things like that, my usually self would have just walk away, but I had ironically been thinking about this exact topic, and just was in a foul mood.

    I get the feeling sometimes, that if girls did not have the sexual freedom they have now, and they would only have sex with guys they want to go out with, I think I would still be a virgin.

    I tried being a jerk for a while, but it's just not in my nature. I just feel bad for people I've wronged. I guess I'll have to wait till the girls have had enough f***ing all the jerks they can find... by then I don't know if I would want to be with someone I know has been used that many time. I not sure if I want to deal with the emotional baggage that will come with that.

    This situation is very depressing for me, because as I've become older, the idea of having a beautiful loving wife who treats me as well as I would treat her and raising 2 or 3 beautiful children to be good loving people is something I really want to do now. The way things are going, I don't think that dream will become reality for me.

  • you know, I know I feel excatly the same. but best to stay needy guy. just add a little cocky and funny to yourself. pretty sure you get one.

  • Well lots of people say don't be a jerk, hmm wonder why, I bet that the women who say that are either dating a jerk, have dated a jerk, or have never dated anyone at all. I bet the guys who say don't be a jerk are probably single and are in the same boat as you are my friend. So do girls like jerks, yes they do, hell if they didn't why are jerks reeling them in left and right? And if they all wanted a nice guy why are you single?

    I'm a jerk simple as that, so how is my dating life, well I dated like 5 girls at one time, all them were on the Deans list, wanted to be Drs, lawyers, scientists, teachers, so ya your typical dumb girl as the women say. Self asteem issues, well none, they were sweet, kind, caring, women, who came from g reat families, and didn't have any issues they weren't emo or crazy. I didn't have to wonder if they were going to call me, hell they texted me and called me all the damn time. Well if one didn't work out I would get another so I would always have at least one girl to take on dates. As of right now I have a girlfriend and in a great relationship with her. Oh by the way she wants to be a Dr.

    • There is a lot more to it than just being a jerk, being a jerk will get you a woman, but it isn't a guaranteed way to keep a woman. It takes practice to be very successful with women, you can't just be a jerk and expect women to fall for you left and right, some will but the ones you want won't.

    • Wow dear I want to become jerk can I send you private me would you like to give me some tips?

  • Well for one start a good exercise routine. Build up some muscle and pretend like you don't know you have it. Stand up for yourself instead of letting others walk all over you. Girls really like a confident guy that won't back down. Women don't want some asshole they just want the guy that other girls wish they could have. (When they are young anyway) Be that guy. I did this very thing when I was going through school. During middle school I was picked on for being weak and short. The summer before I went to high school I worked out A LOT. When I showed up for high school I saw a few of the guys that used to make fun of me, but didn't do anything. Until one of them couldn't resist the urge and pushed me on the ground. I got up and slammed him into the door which ended him ever messing with me again and I got a lot of looks from the girls. I'm like you a really nice guy so in a little while I got a slip of paper during class that was anonymous from a girl saying she liked me. I find out it was from one of the girls that is short and flat chested, but I started to like her back.

    Really it's natural animal attraction. Females like the male that the other males won't mess with. They however don't want an asshole they want a nice guy to. You could definitely pull it off man! Just start working out and build up confidence then prove you're no push over!

  • its not about being a jerk, girls want a guy that can defend them, and walk on their own. Its all confidence and keeping your heart intact. go to a gym, work out for 2 months and learn to have a simple conversation with females so you don't come off as desperate or insecure

  • This is a long post of female advice is it not? My suggestion : Judge a woman by her actions, never her words. This is my polite way of saying all women on this post ar full of shi+...

    • thank you I too agree and they always do the exact opposite of what they say so I so agree with your suggestions

  • well, if you want to be more of a jerk.. go around and start punching girls in the face or something. being a jerk isn't what attracts girls. it's a misconception that many frustrated nice guys have.

  • To answer your question, try to be a jerk, but do not make yourself out to be a psycho... meaning don't go overboard. Personally, I let doors hit women in the face, and cut them off. If one is having a bad hair day, I let them know that their hair sucks.

    Hope I helped!

  • Dude, don't be a jerk. Sorry some dude burned you recently, but don't sink because of it. You don't need to be a jerk to get more, you just be assertive about what you want and take more initiative at getting it.

    • So bascially turn into a demanding jerk...

  • You Don't Need To Be A Jerk, Its Only The Confidence Girls Like.

  • You don't need to be a jerk I am not a jerk and I get pretty much any girl I want. Be the edgy guy that treats women well. It maybe something you are doing even though being confident. Are you self defeating yourself instantly assuming girls like jerks so putting it in the back of your head when going after a girl? Check out the they are friends of mine and the free stuff they have on there site is more then enough to help a confident guy figure out what he might be doing wrong.

  • Dontbe someone your not, and the guys her are jerks to their girlfriends, most of the time they date complete whores or a girl whos to stupid to leave them. Be yourself, I'm a terribly nice guy and I'm with a gorgeous girl who not a whore at all and her family is great. Just be yourself dude, you'll find the right girl.

  • learn to smack a girls ass in a soon as she reaCHES for a slap to your it...the more you treat a girl like she's less then you...the more she'll learn to respect you...please don't go out and shouting your intentions...its just a mindset that you must learn to master in order to get a girl's respect...please don't actually go around and slap girl's idea is to learn your place as a man. The man guides and is stronger...when you picture yourself like this, then everything else will fall into place...

  • Don't, that's my advice, I too have tried all that (failing) and realise that all you are doing is making it harder to find true love, being a jerk attracts the jerk girls who just mess around and don't take you seriously as a long term boyfriend.

    If someone doesn't love you for who you are then that's there loss because any right minded girl would want a nice guy over a bad guy, there's not many but by hell they are better then the idiot slappers who think a d***head with a can in his hand is any good for her.

  • Girls like dominant guys that make things happens, girls want to be penetrated by that kind of men, and leave nice guys for public events and support their shopping.

    It's their nature.

  • -Act like you're not into her

    -Disagree with her for the sake of conversation

    -When she asks you a question about yourself, respond with the same question with answering her question. Chances are, she'll proceed with answering your question prior to realizing or caring that you never answered.

    -Find new and creative ways to be a Hypocrite.

    -Never sugarcoat your opinion on something because you think the way you feel with offend her standpoint. You're the devil's advocate.

    -When she starts talking about her morals, it's a good time to make her feel guilty.

    -She should never have any reason to believe she's number one in your mind

    -She should never have any reason to believe she's not easily replaced.

    -Condescend whenever the opportunity presents itself.

    -Don't do any "favors"

  • Yes, your finally coming to your senses.

    It took me a while to figure it out by after I changed my life has gotten

    so much better you don't even know.

    1. first off have backbone if a girl p*sses you off call her out on it

    2. never give a girl what she wants unless she deserves it

    3. always keep her on her toes

    4. don't be too available

    5. always have another girl that is interested in you so she has to compete.

    6. have that idgaf attitude,

    7. confidence and blah blah...blah

    8. don't kiss ass

    9. work out and get buff

    10. be aggresive

    not in order but whatever

    • True!

    • And most importantly f*** with her head.

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