Room mate walking around topless... offensive?

[Prettygurl12]

Not 100% topless, but in a sports bra and yoga pants.

I work out a lot and on really cold days I set up a workout video in the living room and workout.

The other day I was doing this and it got quite warm so I took my t-shirt off and finished the workout in my sports bra and yoga pants.

After the workout I was having a yogurt and one of my room mates walked in unexpectedly with her boyfriend. It was kind of awkward because he stared and all, but I excused myself almost immediately, grabbed my shirt, and went to my room.

The way our apartment is set up is that the front door opens directly into the living room/kitchen. There's no hiding anything you're doing in the living room to anyone who walks in the front door.

She was supposed to be gone all day from 9 AM - 5 PM and so were the other girls I live with. Yet she and her boyfriend come strolling in at 1 PM. I wasn't expecting anyone to come home.

That night, after the boyfriend left, she came in my room, I said I was sorry for the awkwardness earlier that day and instead of agreeing that it was awkward (it was), she ripped me a new one about dressing like a whore in front of her man and how she didn't need me flaunting myself around him. Her exact words were, "You knew we were coming home. I don't see what right you have to flaunt yourself around like being skinny gives you the right to look like a whore."

Am I wrong to be offended? I felt it was an honest mistake and I don't dress like that except for workouts sometimes. Especially not when I know others are in the house.

But on the flip side... I feel like, if I want to dress like what she calls a whore in my house, I can damn well do that.

Would you be offended if you were her and your room mate did this or no?

[bijinbijinbijin]

I would very much not like for my roommates or friends to go naked in front of my boyfriend.

In your case though i would be more understanding if you were truly just enjoying your privacy and we walked in on you and then you hurried to cover yourself up. The fact that she had to point out that you are skinny and resorted to name calling shows that she is a little jealous of your body.

i have roommates and all of us walk around with very little clothes on in the privacy of our own home but we all have an understanding that if someones boyfriend is over or just guy friend then put some clothes on.

[Red_Arrow]

She was not naked. She was wearing a sports bra and yoga pants. I have seen women outdoors wearing that and similar outfits (during the summer). She should have been okay like that and even so, she immediately left the room.

[LittleSally]

Yes, I would be offended!
You went to your room as soon as they arrived. What more could you possibly do?
You didn't know they were coming back - even if you did - you have the right to workout in whatever you want. Sounds like a decent workout combination - especially for home workout. Fgs...

I am 100% certain her boyfriend told her you were hot and now she's mad at you because she sees you as some sort of competition in that insecure and obviously kind of nutty head of hers.

You're in the right, girl. No worries.
^-^

[LittleSally]

[The first sentence is in reference to your last question in the question description. xD Not to your main Q.]

[CommieDearest]

She sounds like an insecure twat. I wouldn't even think anything of my bf seeing one of my friends in workout clothes lol.

[madhatters4]

i do think in communal living we have to be extra considerate. even if you aren't expecting people to come home, obviously there is chance someone might stop in. that said I really don't think she needed to react so sharply with you. I imagine it was primarily just defensiveness and insecurity because she was worried that you may have gotten the attention of her bf.

I'd just say sorry it was an honest mistake but nothing to go fight about. and maybe start doing workouts in your bedroom if you can

[Prettygurl12]

I would but my room isn't that big. My room is 11'x9'6. Add in there a bed, a desk, a dresser and a bookshelf and I have about a 4x2 ft space to workout in. She doesn't get mad when our other room mate does the same thing.

[madhatters4]

well I think she was just mad because her bf saw you and may have stared. perhaps you just give her a little time to relax and then explain your situation and figure out what you can do to solve it

[Red_Arrow]

From my perspective, you would have been perfectly okay to be wearing what you were, even if you were expecting her to be coming in with him. You were properly covered for being in a gym or exercising outdoors even, so how is it wrong to be dressed like that in your own home? I have visited gals in their homes and their roommates have walked around in regular bras and found nothing wrong with that.

[Red_Arrow]

Thank you for MHO. :-)

[summiter]

You were in a sports bra what is wrong with that. It is not different than a bathing suit. She was way out of line and probably jealous that her bf was staring at you. (lucky him!)

It is your apartment also and you should be able to dress anyway you like.

[martyfellow]

She's just feelkng insecure because she doesn't look so good as you in a sports bra and yoga pants! Don't let it bother you... everyone has a right to their insecurities!

[TrackisLife]

No, she is completely in the wrong. This is your room where she decided to bring some guy into your "house." There is no reason for her to react to you the way she did, her boyfriend should have been able to control himself from staring at you when he knows he is walking into a apartment shared by girls. How dare she call you a whore when you are sitting at home with nobody able to see you? That is a bitch roommate I would ditch her for someone else if I were you, that's just rude.

[oddsonchances]

She is jealOut of you and your body , you have not done anything wrong and your right to be annoyed but the fact she mentioned you being skinny gives signs she wishes she had your bod , take it as a compliment because in a strange way it is. Make yourself scarce if you can next time she brings him over.

[TadCurious]

She REALLY needs to get over herself. So what if you were working out in a sports bra? In the hot summer weather, when I go to the park to work out, I sometimes see girls jogging in a sports bra. A sports bra is much less revealing than a bikini top worn at a public pool or beach. Your roommate is being ridiculous, and what she said about you looking like a "whore" was offensive.

[meatballs21]

Yes, be offended! She's a jealous, insecure, rude bitch! It's your home too, and a sports bar and yoga pants are far from the most revealing thing you could have been wearing!

I feel sorry for her boyfriend, she's probably one of those psychos who doesn't like him talking to any other girls at all, even if he's responding to "can I take your order please?"

[GoldCobra]

You didn't do anything wrong. She is overreacting. The fact that you didn't know they were coming back supports your innocence in this situation. She was worried you were purposefully trying to get male attention from her bf, that is why she is upset.

[GoldCobra]

By the way I'm curious. How much do u bench and squat? :)

[Prettygurl12]

Oh nothing impressive. I squat about 115 right now and bench... significantly less. Like 75. I have chicken arms that decided this is as big as they want to get. Way back in the day I was squatting 375 and benching 125 but then I took a break. So hard to get back into.

[GoldCobra]

Still pretty strong!

[Prettygurl12]

Haha if you say so!

[existing_not_living]

No, not at all. I say let it roll off your back. She's just insecure. I'd be offended too if my roommate said that, but my roommate is my sister so she's always calling me a whore (with love though, haha)

[Prettygurl12]

I'm just shocked she thought I was trying to steal her boyfriend. I have my own boyfriend lol I don't need another. And certainly not him lmao

[existing_not_living]

OOOH BURN!!! Haha, she's probably pissed that he was most definitely checking you out. Girls with insecurities get jealous pretty dang easily. Is she chubby or fat or just regular (not skinny but not thick?)

[Prettygurl12]

She's regular. She's like 95 lbs but is really short (4'10) so it makes her look regular. She's certainly not fat, but she's not like rail thin either.

[existing_not_living]

Wow, lucky. Wish I weighed that much. I'm hoping to at some point. If she ever tries to pull anything on you I would just ignore her or tell her to shut the eff up.

[PinkAcid]

what the hell? a sports bra is perfectly acceptable in your own home it doesn't show anything. she is quite clearly jealous that your body is more attractive than hers and she is very insecure about her relationship

[adamski24]

You are fine it's your room mate that going over the top.
1) you're in your own home shared or not you can dress/wear what you like
2) it's not like you went out your way to be seen
3) you not walking around nude or naked not that it should matter even if you are in you own home it's not sexual to be nude or naked so defiantly not if in underwear.
you were just wearing a sports bra and yoga pants.
It's not you fault that she feels that way and can truest her boyfriend.

[rjroy3]

Honestly, guys walk around shirtless. Sometimes just in boxers, even with roommates with no issues. I don't see why a girl in a sports bra would be any worse.
Not the least bit offensive. Sounds like something you wouldn't do tho

[rjroy3]

You should tell her to check if the coast is clear before letting him in. You have the right to dress however you want in your home and you have no reason to assume guests are coming over. You need to check her

[ButtHearth]

I totally know how you feel. Just because I have an aversion to wearing pants all my roommates constantly slut-shame me, and insist I cover the furniture with a plastic bag before I rest my bare hiney on it.

[Hans222]

Bwa, in the end what's the difference between a bra and a bikini for example... I'm not an easy person to get shocked :-)
I think that, as long as it was not really naked, it's no problem.

[Pariah_Dog]

Your roommate is jelly and insecure as all hell. Sports bra and yoga pants is perfectly reasonable to wear while exercising in your house.

[Dandeus]

She's an up tight bitch. Lots of women dress pretty much like that when they go to the gym or go running on the streets. That she called you a whore for dressing like that in your own home is just stupid.

[ShaeNielson]

I would never live with a girl like that. If I want to walk around in a bra in my house, then I'll walk around in a fucking bra. What a bitch.

[Prettygurl12]

I admit I didn't know her as well as the two other girls when we decided to room together. We needed a 4th for the apartment and none of us are really good at making friends and one of the other girls suggested her. She's a nice girl... just apparently not when she feels you're making a move on her man.

[ShaeNielson]

I'd talk to her, and tell her that you can look how you want in your own home. That you have no interest in her damn man, and that you didn't even know he was there. She needs to calm down, and stop being such a bitch.

[PhiOmega]

wow, I think you should be able to tell u have a really rude roommate, maybe she's wound up because she had some insecurities rise up but that gives her no right, and it is your place too, truthfully there's girls who dress as such at my gym

[bubble_tea]

No, I wouldn't, unless your sports bra and yoga pants have strategic cut outs..

[Prettygurl12]

Yeah... no, they're pretty standard issue

[lace1228]

I wouldn't be offended. No different then being at the beach in a bikini.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

She was in the wrong for acting the way she did to you