I don't have a boyfriend at the moment, but I'm sort of seeing someone, and he's like that. Although I find it sweet that he cares so much, I'm beginning to feel like he thinks I'm a psycho or something because he's constantly asking me how I am. I'm like, please lay it off, I'm perfectly fine and if I'm not fine, I will tell you!
When something is majorly wrong, I'm usually pretty upfront about it, but I don't vent just for the sake of venting every time I'm not 100% satisfied. I'm a pretty sensitive person, so I'm easily overwhelmed, and I've learned to deal with it on my own - no one would be interested in hearing me bitch about every little thing during the day that isn't to my liking. So sometimes I may have an expression that says "I'm a bit stressed out" or "I'm not entirely tip-top dancing in the streets over flowingly happy right this instant", but it doesn't mean PLEASE ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG, 9 times out of 10 it simply means "Carry on, I'm processing information", and the 10th time I'm going to freak out and then you'll know. Ok? Ok.
Interesting question. I usually get annoyed with people asking me if I'm fine even after I've been insisting for half an hour that I'm perfectly fine.
Okay, for the guys part of the question - it's because he wants to know that you're okay. It may be because he can see that there's something wrong when he looks at the expression on your face, or because you have some sort of 'tell' when you're upset (my sister starts making a hell of a noise in the kitchen and bangs things around to annoy everyone else - misery loves company). He also maybe wants to know that whatever it is, he wasn't the cause of it. Guys are also 'fixers' - meaning that we want to fix whatever problem we hear about rather than be a venting booth. That's you girl friends, but very few guys are sensitive enough to care about doing that. I try to be because I want my girlfriend some day to really value spending time with me, as much as what I will with her anyway.
Most of the times these guys are clueless on how to behave around women and thus they ask this question; I used to be the same way, and I did it cause I was eager to please my girlfriend at the time. However, I eventually learned this annoyed her so I learned to be more subtle about asking the question. Looking back, it was my lack of experience and insecurity around women that made me ask that question. Best thing is to tell him that girls don't like this question too much. Good thing my ex told me :)
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I've encountered this, too, with girls, and its amazing how many are annoyed by this question. My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship right now, and I've seen this same reaction when I send her emails asking this question. I think its a little bit of insecurity, because we often think we did something to cause this mood.
Is that normal to have this reaction online as well? Help me on this part, girls?
Because girls aren't straight up with guys. They want guys to listen and be there when they have a problem. But when something is bothering them, they aren't honest and up front with it. So the guy hears, "I'm fine" but any guy that knows about girls, knows that this is not really what the girl means. So if the girl wants to get the guy off her back, she should start being honest.
He could be like me, I am only happy if everyone around me is doing well and happy. So I pay attention to people's moods and try to help them through their problems.
I learned long ago to stop asking someone if they are all right. Unless they are family, close friends, or someone who looks extremely in a badly way, I will avoid asking how they feel.
Some people only like to share what's going on in their heads when they want to :)
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