Why I Don't See The Point In Bashing Couples This Valentine's Day

Nothing can be more derogatory than hearing a person defame the quality time of a couple in public exposure by shoving an ugly truth like this:

Nothing lasts forever! You'll break up anyway!

The trend to downplay all people in a healthy, loving relationship has become really recurrent in my country, the Philippines, to the point that commercialization has taken a huge leap in incorporating the trend in business strategies, yielding to products as hideous as this:

Wordplay from Filipino, "Forever is really non-existent." Wala means "none". Talagang means "really".

There's even a movie about it which I find dumb in the first place:

I don't see the point in channeling some bitter person's feelings of bitterness by speaking so unabashedly of the people who have attained the exact, same goal s/he wishes forβ€” a romantic relationship.

Let's face it; I bet most people who are feeling bitter this Valentine's have been either indifferent or have been hurt. The indifferent ones may not be really interested in speaking something against the commercialized celebration. The ones who have been hurt previously in their past may be overly affected to the point that they drag the present down and be down on the dumps all the time.

In the world, "love" has had many convoluted and misleading connotations that have been instilled in the minds of people who stick to ideals and delusions.

Love lasts forever.

Love heals all wounds.

Finding love is the most profound goal one must attain.

When all of those beliefs are proven to be untrue for some people, they would often be in endless outrage which cannot be pacified by time alone. Feelings of hopelessness overpower people's rational capacities and resort to unhealthy ways of expressing grief.

Now, several rhetoric questions can point my underlying points here:

(1) Why plant insecurity in the zenith of others?

(2) Do people really feel the need to weigh the worth of a romantic partner for the validity of an annual Valentine's Day celebration?

Tomorrow, February 14, would be Valentine's Day, a day when most people would be engaging in expressing love. I bet everyone would be pouring out love in the five respective love languages eminent in every member of the society according to Gary Chapmanβ€” acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, and physical touch.

For those people who do bash couples, passively wishing for every couple to end their relationships, please bear in mind that:

(1) Valentine's Day won't magically change its essence;

(2) You'll be wasting your time acknowledging others at your own expense of time; and,

(3) Valentine's Day isn't the time to do that. The holiday isn't exclusive to couples.

Valentine's Day isn't even primarily designated for people with romantic relationships. It is for everyone who can love. You, dear reader, can love in your own way!

Wouldn't it be hypocritical if you loathe Valentine's Day for not finding love (in romantic expression) but celebrate the holiday for the exact, same reason (love in platonic expression) with your family and friends?

Now isn't the time to bring couples down.

Do not feel bitter for others' happiness. You can loathe all you can but make it sure that you do not harm others in the process.

Do not drag others down to appease complicated feelings. It's blatant, not right, and unjust.


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What Guys Said 23

  • I don't feel its right to bash couples on v day, but sometimes bitter feelings just happen even if one isn't a bitter person overall. I don't know what your relationship status is, but if you are with someone it is probably really easy for you to say don't be bitter. However, for someone like me its not that easy. I used to be indifferent on v day, couples could do their thing and it didn't bother me. I was always single, so in a way I didn't even really know what I was missing. This year was different though. Over the past year I had my first romantic relationship and also in the past year the girl I was with left me and broke my heart. Getting over her has been hard enough, but all the v day hype just brings back all these feelings. Everytime I see a v day ad it makes me think back to being with her and how much I miss her, so the weeks before v day are just full of being sad and lonely. Though you are right that v day can be celebrating love of friends and family as well, advertisements and the media almost entirely focus on romantic relationships. So much focus is placed on the romance part of v day that it makes people like me who are hurt and/or are longing to find that special person feel like we are less than people who are in a relationship and that just increases the hurt even more. (Sorry for typing so much, just wanted to make the point that there are different angles at which you can look at this. Good my take!)

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  • I understand your point, however most people like myself only feel down on ourselves on this holiday, 21 rotations out of 21 alone? Yeah that's depressing considering I've made a move on pretty much every girl I've been interested in and all have said no (well over 10) without much hesitation. So I admit I do get sad and bitter today however I never have really tried to talk down people who do have someone they are attracted too. (Except for a couple guys who really don't care about their girls) most are like me; sad lonely but not actually hostile to couples, maybe some are but nowhere near all the lonely people today.

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    • I see, I see. Your opinion has gotten me more insight. It's sad :(

    • I admit I have high standards on a girls body and mind that I'll never settle on. I know that makes it harder but I only want one in the end.

  • Nice mytake. I don't judge or bash. It's good people are out their with love ones and having fun on Valentine's day. Single people can have fun to.

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  • As for the movie bit, that may be due to a shift in demographics. I know that here in the good old US of A (MER'KA, FUCK YEAH), there was a huge deal made about there being more single people than married people for the first time in the country's recorded history. This could simply be an economic cash in on the larger numbers of single people. I don't know if there has been a similar shift in your country.

    As for being indifferent, that would be me. I don't see the point in talking shit to a couple, even if they're unhappy. They chose to be together, that's on them. This Valentine' Day, I had a Cheshire Cat grin when I managed to buy myself a P90, like the one in Goldeneye (anyone remember the N64?) and some incendiary rounds. Happy Valentine's to me!

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  • Bashing couples on or around Valentines Day is downright wrong and it is perfectly human. It's called egoistic association and it refers to our tendency to associate the credibility or viability of something based on how it affects us personally. This is akin to someone criticizing a process because the outcome of the process did not work in their favor. When someone belittles, criticizes or speaks ill of couples on Valentines Day, it is because they are single and thus Valentines Day has a negative connotation for them personally. I do not condone it, obviously, I just wanted to frame the causation from a relationship coaching lens.

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  • Nothing last forever you'll break up anyway LOL Too Funny.. nice TAKE!

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  • Great Take! But I'm shocked -- Filipinos cynical about love? I was in the country long time ago and it seemed like they'd be the last people on Earth to start doubting love and marriage. Wtf happened since then? I thought they were mostly Catholic, with really traditional views, who would die for love. Is that not true anymore?

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    • I have seen this cynical behavior mostly from the millennials themselves. I could still vividly remember that the "Walang Forever" mentality sprouted in early 2014 when I was 15 years old. This was when my peers used to join the commotion by ranting their rejection and breakup stories and making an engagement out of them. Trends that highlight this cynicism have really skyrocketed because of the exposure (novels about heartbreak and being a hopeless romantic, etc.) people are immersed in.

      Yes, most remain to be overly traditional but the population may be possibly affected by exposure to media (social media, to be precise) to lean for the idea of deviating from traditions. I guess, it may be interpreted that the inclination is slowly dissipating.

  • i agree. if people choose not to celebrate it then they shouldn't celebrate it. if people choose to celebrate it they should. and as one person's celebration of the day or another's non-celebration of the day doesn't really impact the other it shouldn't be of any issue to the other.

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  • Most people don't like the hallmark, in your face crap that comes from valentines day than the prior who celebrate it. Commercials don't need to remind me every 5 minutes that I'm single. Sometimes, I may wish I had a girlfriend, but they don't need to tell me that if I spend an arbitrary day that's been hallmarked literally for companies to make money and rip people off that I'm a sad loser. That's the shit people get sick of

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  • I don't see why people should be bashing on others in general

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  • Let couples enjoy valentines day. Who are we to let our jealousy fuel us to make people feel bad. It's a day for them.

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  • This is the second time I'm confessing. :P
    http://i.imgur.com/bE9hxSo.png

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  • Single or not who cares about Valentine's Day

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  • I've never bashed couples but was always disappointed that i have yet to be part of one

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  • YeAH. easy for women to say. Any woman who is single can just stick her thumb out and guys line up regardless on how she looks or who she is. And she'll still reject them.

    Men have to be in the best shape and build the best personality traits and still be told their is something wrong with them.

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  • Lmao is that my English teacher picture 7 xD?

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  • Its just people mad that they don't have anyone
    i've never had a valentine either but i don't take it out on anyone or anything

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  • Couple feel bitter for this single person's happiness.

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  • Good take. I agree. Although I'm single, I don't bash couples because everyone should be happy

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  • I just see it as another day. I'm seeing someone but am not in a relationship. Even if I was, this day wouldn't have any positive or negative impact on me. There's lots of people who are single today and it's not like people who are taken are giving shit to single people or bragging about how they're in a relationship.

    It is what it is.

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What Girls Said 12

  • I've gotten so used to it but this year I decided to be different.

    I didn't want to get him the obligatory teddy and chocolates. I decided to show a bit more of my personality.

    I kept asking him what he wanted and he said "nothing". So, I was at a car store picking up stuff for my dad. I bought a cheap shitty car air freshener. I'm going to slot it into the car and say happy Valentine's Day/anniversary! (We do months, we're sad. 2 years 9 months tomorrow)

    He'll hate me.
    I'll then say don't worry I got you a present! And give him the cheap silly 50 shades of grey inspired leather whip (99p in the card store so you know it's a gimmick). When he is like oh god what else, I'll give him his real present. It's a love heart cushion with "love" and a little bag of chocolate love hearts.

    They are all small cheap gifts but I want him to giggle tomorrow and if he wants to give me a cheeky whip to tell me off for being silly, I'm game 😜

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  • Super thoughtful and indepth as always! 😘😘 I agree 176%!!! (That's a weird number I know ahaha!) but again, your MyTakes never leave me unimpressed! Great work Gala-Bae! I'm actually really glad that I'm not the only one who thinks those things either haha πŸ˜‚

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  • I've never understood people who can't feel happy about other people being together (and if not happy, at least neutral/indifferent). I understand that people get lonely, but they shouldn't take it out on others.
    Then again, neither do I really understand couples who feel the need to constantly showcase their "love" everywhere, be it by spamming pictures of themselves on social media or by eating each others' faces off in public.

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  • I agree. They found their happiness, people should be happy for them. No wonder they're single with all that bitterness. In my nursing class, there's a boyfriend and girlfriend that both work at starbucks and they are getting the entire class hot chocolate and coffee for Valentines Day. They are so sweet and are an adorable couple. I'm taking myself on a date on Valentines Day. Or the day after because chocolate becomes ridiculously cheap as stores try to get rid of it. I'm going to wear my favorite outfit, go to the state library, buy some chocolate and fattening foods for myself, come home and then watch movies and tv shows.

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  • People are really this bitter? lol, no wonder they're still single.

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  • Why does anyone care enough to bash? I almost forgot today was the V day lol

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  • Great MyTake sweetheart <3

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    • Thank you very much! Your myTakes are great and I hope you do get the Editor status! <3

    • Awww, thanks sweety, i just enjoy writing in general :D <3 thanks i love yours too

  • I agree with what you said indeed. I honestly find it childish if someone walks up to a couple and be like "you'll break up anyways" just coz they are single... grow up... just coz you are single doesn't mean everyone else has to be the same. And vice versa.

    If you didn't find your love yet then you'll find it soon, no need to bash couples for it xD

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  • Man that's so sad! People feel threatened when they're unhappy and others are. My boyfriend is Filipino. I'll have to ask him about this!

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    • Please go ask him about it. I bet he'll be infuriated with this one as well!

  • I literally have never heard or seen anyone bash someone for participating in Valentine's Day.

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  • good

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  • I stopped at "ugly truth".

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