Taking a trip with someone who's "just a friend"?

Question

Ok, here's the situation. Met this really great guy a week ago and we've become really close. We like each other a lot, but he's been dating this other girl for a few weeks and he kinda wants to see where it goes with her. However, he is taking a trip in a few weeks and has asked me to go with him. Granted I have a more flexible work schedule than this other girl does, but isn't a trip like that something you do if you're boyfriend/girlfriend? On top of that he hasn't seen the other girl all week, but we've hung out everyday since we met. I like being around him and I want to go, but I'm not sure I should. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. If you need/want more details let me know.

ladykay · Accepted Answer

BEWARE.

I would not touch that with a 10 foot pole. This guy does not know what he wants. If he was really into his current relationship, he would not risk hurting her by taking a trip with a girl he barely just met and is becoming "really close to".

And if he was into you, he should bite the bullet and break it off with his current girlfriend.

It's really that simple. One girl for every guy. Mix that up and it just causes too much drama.

Let me ask you - What are your real intentions on this trip? To make him fall for you? Do yourself a favor and let him make that decision on his own. He is not worth it if he continues to dance around and tell you that he "kinda wants to see where it is going with her" while you wait at the sidelines. He will not respect you for waiting around for him while he has the position of power and chooses which girl is best. Don't let him disrespect you and her.

One last thing, does she know about you? Does she know that he invited you? Would you feel comfortable standing in front of her if he asked you to go on the trip instead of her? Those feelings surrounding these answers should give you a sign whether or not this is right and if you feel the least bit guilty, then you need to walk away.

Good luck.

when-the-rain-fall · Accepted Answer

He should be dating one girl at a time. At least, that's in my opinion. Either way if you guys go as friends or not, put yourself in her shoes. I would definitely stop seeing a guy if he took another girl with him on his vacation. Do you like this guy? If so, are you okay with the fact that he's seeing another girl at the same time?

drstms · Accepted Answer

Not a good idea.  If he is willing to do this now, what would happen in the future, especially if he doesn't see a problem with it.  Trips are for people who are more than friends, either associates in business, who stay in separate rooms, or significant others who stay in the same room.  It may be he is really not sure about how he feels, but I wouldn't go with him when you've only known him a week, and he claims to want to see how it works out with someone else.  He is shooting himself in the foot, just by asking.  His integrity and credibility are both in question now.