He Says " Just Friends," but Actions Speak Louder than Words

I'm okay with not talking feelings, don't really have any of those right now. I know if I couldn't see him anymore, at least right now I'd be okay. It wouldn't kill me, wouldn't break my heart. I know he's not my boyfriend, I was okay with telling a housefull of friends that he and I were just friends, though everyone was staring in disbelief when I said it, due to the nature of our interactions, our closeness, and obvious fondness for each other's company.

Ok, so if you're ok what's the problem? I think you are in denial here. Things are ok right now. But you yourself said you could see yourself falling for this guy. If you didn't have feelings attatched you wouldn't be on here asking about your situation. So if you don't have feelings, what's the problem?

I don't think that I'm in denial, I know that I could get attached, though I can't visualize us as a couple, because it's not "in the cards" right now. I have it set in my mind that he can't give me what I want, but I don't know that I want a relationship. It just feels like whatever is going on is teetering on the edge of a blade, and its going to go one way or another sooner or later, which is an obvious fact of life... Just trying to gain some insight from outside perspectives.

What do you mean by "It's not in the cards"? I think he is getting attatched too. I just think you two need to be clear because two people not having a clue of what they want or don't want can spell disaster especially if there is a little boy involved. If he's a cautious dad then this is a big step for the relationship. I think you two need to talk again.

"not in the cards" - hasn't been discussed, though it is in the Cards, if you are into that kind of thing. Thing about the son: at first the guy was trying to not have me over while the son was there, but he seems to have thrown caution to the wind. I would wait till the son was in bed to come over, and leave before he got up, now I just leave before he gets up... but he's a smart kid and I know he can hear my car outside. I do think we need to talk again, but I'm not going to push anything.

Um, I gotta be honest here. I've been reading the conversation above and it's just all very contradicting. If you don't have feelings why would you want a commitment (even if it's in the back of your mind)? You are resistant one moment and then the next you pretend as if everything is ok. You are confusing which in turn, makes it hard to help you out seeing as you can't seem to get things straight in your head. I'm not trying to be mean. I just think you yourself are a bit confused.

I think you're right. I know I'm confused, at least in the front of my mind I don't know what I want. At the back of my mind are the subconscious hopes and wishes that are pretty normal when you realize that you really like someone. That's the thing though, I really like him, but I feel confident that I could just walk away. I just don't know if I should, because of the confusion, and I'd hate to look back and wonder, "What if."

I'm sure you would wonder what if. It's a double edged sword. Yes now you can walk away a lot easier than down the road. After a while your feelings will develop more and more for him. Down the road it won't be easy to walk away. This is why I say it's important that you two talk about it. Communication is important in any kind of relationship (friends, family, significant others). Etc.

Wow..i didn't have to ask the question..but that's the best answer I've seen..and it is perfectly related to me and my fwb..he wants all the perks and I'm attached but he isnt...says he doesn't know if he will ever want anything serious again...this sucks so bad..but we are like everything to each other without the strings..hes free to be with whoever he wants..yet he doesnt!