Why are girls so into you one minute then the next avoid you like you're the plague?

I mean I know inside girls go crazy emotionally... is it to try show they are strong? Don't they know a guy has feelings, too?


How can a girl go from being so into you, to just pretending you don't exist? How does a guy deal with this?

Updates:
Lets see... when you feel like someone is tailing you like a cop... you catch them looking and they immediately turn away or scratch their face and look in the opposite direction. Always near you. I tried speaking to her but got a cold response.
Classic signs of a girl with a crush. I think because I made a move I shocked her and now she avoids me?
To the guys responding... I'm not friends with this girl. In fact, I don't even know her. She basically followed me around like a puppy dog, and would "happen" to show in spots I was in... stare at me... etc... she was trying to be coy but wasn't.
I tried to talk to her and she was quick to get out of the conversation and get away from me. Since then she's not near me anymore and I see her less frequently. Maybe she wanted attention or maybe she is incredibly shy?
It comes down to either tigerlily19 is right or shes-a-lady is right.
What I would like to know from the girls - would you tell a guy you had a boyfriend, even if you didn't, but still liked him? What scenario's would apply to this? Would mine?
I know when a girl lies about having a boyfriend she does this to be somewhat polite in rejecting a guy... but I get a sense this girl lied to me for a different reason.
Since some LOSER who I private messaged in confidence decided to post details under an anonymous user - such a loser - mightr as well tell everyone... Gold's Gym in Peoria. Thanks Anonymous User. Whay don't you log in and post under your username next tim
Saw her in recent weeks and she has been up to her old habits staring, glaring with no smile and popping up in areas I would generally be in. She would look at me then turn around and walk away like she was trying to avoid me. Ladies: any ideas on this?
I did try to say something to her and this has gotten a bit ridiculous. She abruptly walked away when I approached her. This a game? She behaving like this just to get a rise out of me? She into me this badly? Its getting annoying.
 

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What Girls Said 61

What Guys Said 30

  • Selected as most helpful

    i do that all the time. as soon as he shows interest I ignore him :-/

    fear of rejection & commitment, it's pretty simple.


    if you want her to open up again, you have to make clear that you like her and that you're totally serious.


    she might also doubt how serious you are, so she pretends you don't exist and waits to see how much effort you put in getting back to her.


    either way, what I mentioned above will work out :)


    • Are you serious? I've been trying to figure that one out on my own for some time now. That happens to me. I show interest, she shows interest (everything is going great), and then she ignores me.


      I have a question. If a really good looking male came up to you and showed interest would you make it harder for him to get you if he was serious about liking you? I find it that girls can't trust me because I'm a very hansom guy...i guess they know I will always get attention from other girls?

    • their will always be 2 people in a relationship, the reacher and the settler...dont be the reacher...never works out well

    • True true. the best players I've met were the nicest and sweetest guys ever. they really knew how to talk to a girl...and I'm definitely not an easy case lol



      but there are "amateur players", they are quite direct and have no clue how to treat girls. but they think they're "the man".you could also call them creeps or easy jerks, doesn't really matter ...they're no good anyways.


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  • Well god know if you got your answer. But what I would say is that I do similar things with a guy I really like and I do it because I'm sure he does not like me and so staying away makes it easier to not be so into the guy. The difference being I am sure he doesn't like me. Yet you say you know her so maybe she assumes you can't like her. And then of course maybe she is playing a "game" like she is always there and then she's gone you'd notice her and think about her which is exactly what your doing.

  • She likes you

  • If I were you, I'd wait for someone worth waiting for, as in someone who will not play head games ike many people have already mentioned, someone who will tell you straight up how she feels, although that can be difficult

  • Hi, you're 30-35. You have no time for these childish games...or do you?

    Ignore this idiot. She's just annoying. She sounds like a weirdo...be careful, she might just be a vampire and try to suck your blood!

    • AMEN on that lol I hate head games. Games just waste time and energy lol

    • +1

    • I thought about the vampire... but she looks more like a witch. As for games, I think none of us at any age has time for them.

  • Ignore her and forget about her. She sounds like a migraine.

    • +1 again!

    • Yes. Big headache. Wish she would act like a woman and not like a little girl.

  • We Actually feel the same way sometimes ... so maybe that could be the reason!

    • Exactly. Forget about hefr, she's not worh it :D.

    • If she didn't slam the door in my face with the boyfriend line I would approach her again. I understand why she did it (Best Answer Above) but its gotten to the point where too much time has passed and I don't see it going anywhere.

    • I could totally relate ...

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  • Well some of us are emotional roller coasters and we go through ups and downs but on the fllp side we play hard to keep you interested. Its about the chase, I know I start fights (small ones) just to see if my guy is still interested and will put an effort into making sure I'm happy. Its just a test...dont worry...we don't mean too (smirk)

    • Are men lab rats to you women? Tests? Hard to get can only go on for so long before you turn the guy completely away.

  • maybe they found something out that they didn't like. or was offended in some way. yes we girls over analyze everything!

  • Dont let it bother you, she's probably way into you she just doesn't want to be rejected. sometimes or they're trying to play hard to get

    • You're probably right.

  • welll maybe she's intimidated? Are you popular and constantly surrounded by friends and are you overly confident? that's the reason why I aviod my crush even thoughh I really really would lovee to talk to him, I'm waiting for him to approach me.

    • I'm usually alone doing my thing but I do socialize with other people. Recently, she has been checking me out. One person told me they saw her, and I caught her myself. One day it seems she's interested, then other days she just ignores me like I'm the plague. Can't figure her out.

  • You said she has a boyfriend? She probably really does. I bet she's interested in you, and that's why you picked up those signals like her blushing, etc. However, the fact is she isn't ready to part with her boyfriend (and if you ask me, you should respect that, unless for example, he's a total abusive turd), and you being persistent scared her away. She's basically afraid of falling for you and ruining her current relationship, so she's avoiding you. She doesn't want to be MEAN because she does like you, but she won't be nice either because that will encourage you. She probably just wishes that you would avoid her too, so she can forget about you and get on with her life.

    • Wow!

  • If a girl suddenly starts avoiding you, its likely that you have done something to scare her away. You should probably just talk to her and ask her why she's ignoring you or just move on if she obviously isn't interested any more.

  • maybe you should switch to guys... DUH. faghet.

    • anonymous she-male

    • Lmao runs on batteries.. I have a feeling this chick doesn't get out much

    • Lol, nice one about the battery operated boyfriend, totally over her head.

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  • well girls can say the same thing about guys that is happening to me right now... it just depends on how the person is and if your really into them and them not being into you as much as you are to them ... maybe you liked her way to much and she didn't like it or something

  • So it seems like a lot of people gave you opinions can you please choose a best answer?

    i just wanna see how you'll do that! :)

    • I'd say shes-a-lady wins... with tigerlily19 second and honorable mentions to other girls who suggest it was a lie to play it safe.

  • maybe she got mad at something you did? I always ignore guys when I get mad at them.

  • You know what!


    Sometimes its the guy that gives off the wrong signals! I know I do it because guys make me feel like an idiot so to avoid looking like one I just avoid them :)

    • I'm guilty of this. I can look p*ssed off sometimes, so she could take it as I don't like her.

  • We girl's have... a really good imagination, and we always make the end of the world out of something really small, unlike you. Or sometimes trying to play hard-to-get, without a good effect though. But trust me - we always end up as the ones that cries their heart out at the end - sometimes without any good reason in fact. It's strange - the way we are so complicated while you boys attend to keep it so simple - irony x)

    Reply on the "What I would like to know from girls" - I did that couple of times when I didn't like the guy, but didn't want to hurt him or anything, but never when I actually liked the guy - that is more the hard-to-get game that I find really boring.

    My tip - try to win the girl - that is the thing that she really want's - someone to fight for her!

    • Well, you could always try finding out that by saying hi I guess :)

    • Right now, it's kinda like hide-and-go-seek. I go do my thing and she does hers but then I catch her looking at me with a stern look on her face. Not sure if its wishes of death or wanting me to say hi.

    • Hmm... maybe the girl is changing her mind or something... you have to impress her I guess... somehow - show her that you care (if you do, or if you want her to think that you do :P)

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  • You really don't want to think too much into this.


    It's the basic fact that girls are... undecisive.

  • if you did something wrong to her, to make her all of a sudden hate you, her reaction would be to get revenge. she'd try to get you jealous and make you feel like you did the wrong thing, and regret what you did to her. she'd want an apology. but in some cases deep down inside her heart she still likes you. to get a guy jealous or to stop liking me, I'd say I already have a boyfriend. some girls just say yes then like break up a few hours later just so tht she wouldn't have to say no to your face.


    or maybe she wants you to come to her. I normally like it when boys make the first move. but this may sometimes offend a girl.


    and try to gett to know her more. gett her to open up to you. and by the way, do leave the conversation hanging. always have a topic. otherwise it'll be very awkward.


    and if all els fails, just ask her. why would she hate you? if you're too scared/embarrassed then ask her bestfriend, she'd more then likely tell her everything.

    • I didn't do anything wrong other than try to be nice, which probably came off as way too strong and direct as some girls here have pointed out.

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  • That's a good question man.I started dating a girl and she acted so into me,wanted to text and email and talk on the phone everyday.Told me we would talk everyday and get to know each other.told me I wasa great guy.then she stands me up on a hike date.no call or anything.even ignored me when I text her to ask what was wrong.then sends me a 2 sentence email saying.sorry for everything but my ex boyfriend wants to work things out.,said she was so confused.I just asked her why she didn't call me and explain and cancel,and she said I guess you want pity now,well here it is.what did I do to deserve that.said I didn't do anything wrong but she completely ignores me now

  • uhhhh...


    first off, how can you be 30-35 and you don't already know that all women are freaking crazy? Like, almost certifiable? practically normal...


    my old lady (20+ years now...) kind of "stalked me".


    found out later, she was SO shy and inexperienced, she clammed up and didn't know what to say...

  • Maybe she heard a bad rumor about you.

  • BC they're women and that's what they do to guys that let them get away with it. Find a new one.

  • Great question! I'd give you my opinion, but you've clearly gotten plenty of good answers... and not so great answers. I think ultimately it comes down to how interested someone is in someone that runs like that, either hoit pursuit and come off like an obssesive prick and or end up with her through sheer determination, or try to put her out of sight and out of mind. At least those are the two things I usually end up doing until something happens, I usually end up going with the second choice, I'm not into those games, if someone's into you they should at some point show it, especially if you've been blunt and or very apparent/upfront about your/my interest in someone, at least that's how I see it.



    Anyways, best of luck to you and hope everything works out.

  • I can you simple advice. DELETE HER FROM YOUR EYES. This means, IGNORE HER!. This girl disrespected your ego of manly. She arogantly started, walked, and stalked you but refused to accept your polite aproach to even get know each other. In otherwords, becareful because she might be spying you for somethings you don't remember now. Did you have friends you fought with, maybe she is a hired hatewomen who wishes not be seen talking to each other but studying you? maybe she is suffering from common autism sydrome? Or maybe she is suffering from isolation and wishes to have friends or even boyfriend but due to circumstances she is unable to socialize? Be polite but also ignore her as she is not there. if she becomes more interesting in you and stars at you. Than look around, sit in front of her and say, "hey, I think you are hatewomen and you want to kill me! Is why you are staring at me?! Her anwer shouuld be answer of her life. Because she would either protest and say, NO, I don't to kill or and you initiate the conversation from that. Otherwise, ignore women who ignore you presence because it is very disrespectful and humaliating act and behavior.

    • Girls should delete guys who play with their emotions and with their heads. don't introduce yourself as the wolf in sheeps clothing then lead her on. then make out with her/f*** her then slowly pull away. then call her for some booty but pretends to be missing her before the deed. then disappears for sometime. you know that hurts us girls you know. we are sweethearts when you show us how much you like us but then you started being a d*** then yea you pretty much get the bitch out.

  • If no alcohol was envolved in either case..

    Then in most cases the guy became too clingy...


    Or sometimes she met someone else.. but most cases the guy became too clingy...

  • It's because you probably flirted with her one day and then didn't f*** her, then the next day she thinks "oh f*** I shouldnt have been so horny with him, what a slut I am, next time I'm putting my guards up." In the mood the moment its okay, but when she's you didn't f*** her, she thinks it was all her fault for acting so sexy with u, ya know. She thinks you don't like her. But if ya f***ed her, then its a whole different story, where she will fall in love with you haha!

    • Next time I see her, I will bang her. Thanks!

  • you goota keep them girls interested by playing games with them .. just work on flirting and keeping girl interested. link

    • I'm not that type of person. Either you're interested or you're not. I think she's come to the conclusion I'm not the type of guy who will chase her. Her loss.

  • Its called "cat string theory."


    If you wave a piece of string in front of yoru cats face then pull it away, your cat is mesmerized by it. However, if you actually give the cat the string, she sniffs it once then looks away.


    Humans are like the cat, we like the shiny thing that is just out of our reach, we like to pursue, we are tantalized by what retreats from us when we reach for it.


    In this case, you are the string, the girl is the cat. Next time, maybe let her enjoy chasing you, let her wonder, unsure if she can get you or not for a little while.


    Just a thought.


    And byw, it does not sound like things went very far between you 2, so I would not say there is much lost in this case, just move on to another girl, then you'll forget all about miss "she stood too close to me, then she didn't stand close to me anymore."


    Thats my 2 cents.

  • There are only two options:


    1) You was in a good mood and this became contagious to her, once your mood changed, hers changed too.


    2) She is trying to see if you are for real and can take a little social pressure without pussying out.

    • Maybe you're right.

    • Based on your answer is definitely number one because you are thinking too much about her, that means you already scared her away.. Your insecurity reflects in she rejecting you.

    • 1) Doesn't apply to my situation.

      2) Maybe...real vs. player I can see that argument. Now she told me she's got a guy, so all I can do is back off, so not sure where being a p**** fits in here...

  • Hello,


    I tend to not get involved with girls like this.. if she's gets scared and runs off then she's frankly crazy.. I have no time to spend trying to "convince" a girl I'm interested in them.. I've done it too many times in the past and there were always 2 outcomes..


    1: She gets bored with you and finds another guy.. (its a mirical I know all a sudden she's not scared of getting hurt)


    2: She comes back to you before getting scared again and running off, and the whole cycle repeats itself


    In both case the women cares nothing for your feelings in the matter.. after all if a women really liked you why would she do somthing that hurt you?.. the answer is she wouldnt.. she would get over her fears..


    But the big question si WHY would you want to convince a women like that.. after all dating a women is all about finding the one girl.. if she runs in the early stanges what's she going to be like if you ever get marrid or have kids? will she run EVERY time life gets hard.. could you trust a women like that to pull her weight in the relationship.. I would say no you cant



    Leave her alone for another guy to deal with


    Good Luck


    -Chris

  • I read all the comments and there was a wealth of wisdom here. Unfortunately you are way in your head. That's why she is avoiding you. You need to stop thinking what people think of you and live your life the way you want to and not how people are going to respond to it.

    • Well if you got anything right out of this, its is called experience. Awesome attitude! Cheers!

    • I agree. My curiosity got the best of me here. I think everyone here could be right one way or another. I pretty much got what I needed - lots of opinions. Enough to tell me I was wrong in how I approached her and waiting much too long to say something. I'm happy I went out of my way to say something, but left feeling like something isn't right... regardless, time to move on!

  • They are called cock-teasers bro. You think you were the only one they were giving all that attention to? You think you were the only one they were "crazy" about?


    Reality is that most girls do this kind of thing until their late 30's, when they no longer look good enough to cock-tease.


    And rest assured, while a good guy like you is left wondering wtf just happened, she is surely doing nasty dirty things with the bad-boy tatoo'd motorcyclist down the road. Put your money on it. That's the dating game today. That's how it works. As a decent guy you have NO chips at the poker table, you are up the creek without a paddle.

    • I hear you. Point taken.

  • They're girls. They're weird like that. BAM BEST ANSWER!

  • Its quite simple. Women act on their emotions. And by acting on your emotions, which change all the time, you can't make sound decisions. For this reason, women don't know what they want and constantly change their minds.

  • or she might be an attention whore I'm not sure but I might have to see how she is in real life to really determine but other then that let laugh for a sec check out this link rolfmao link

  • One of two things...


    - She either lost interest in you because you are "too nice" (nice guys finish last, overly sensitive ones don't place at all), or she's playing hard to get. I'm willing to go for the first one. I stopped giving a **** about what women thought, and that landed me a girlfriend after two dates.


    I was in your position. To be successful, you need to be..


    a.) Funny


    b.) Cocky


    c.) Independent


    If you have all of these three traits and know how to use them in unison with one another, then you're golden. It's like the quote goes, "If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything". To keep a girl interested, you need to stop being at her every beck and call, stop following her and chasing her (make her chase you), have a life, be funny, be charming, and for God's sake, be confident.


    How would I deal with it? I WOULD MOVE ON, because there are MANY pebbles on the beach. That's the type of attitude you have. I have told my current girlfriend many times, "if you don't like me or the person that I am, there's the door.." and I would point to the door. That type of confidence landed me four rounds of you-know-what. Take my advice.

    • This is ridiculous!

      Your girlfriend is a desperate fool!

      Any man who treats me like the way you decribed would be out the door faster than you can say "Bo!".

      Yes I like a confident, funny and independent man, but I also like a doting, kind and caring man. I don't chase men and I don't expect him to chase me either. If I like him and he likes me, we meet half way.Do me a favour and stop passing this bullsh*t information around to young and impressionable men. How old are you?!!!

    • Uhm, just my though: there are many girls out there. if ur an awesome guy, there will be plenty of girls waiting to get you. so don't waste your time on someone who isn't sure what she wants. if she wants u, she would have made it known... right? if she wants you but doesn't want to work for it... then she isn't worth ur time.


      maybe ignore her for abit and see her reaction. then move from there.


      then again, if you aren't awesome, get awesome. don't settle.


      i personally think cdeyoung's quite right :/

    • Don't get upset. From what you wrote it came off like you're the type of guy who gets certain kinds of girls - submissive. I think this girl likes me but not overwhelmingly enough to do what you say. I've ignored her since the day I approached her. Its just weird to see her as most times when things like this don't go your way you never see the person ever again. This is an odd situation I've never dealt with before.

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  • Younger girls are immature, no matter what, deal with it or live with it, or kick their butts away.

  • Probably because they found a deal breaker that is unique to them. I wouldn't worry about it. If one girl looses interest, then on to the next one.

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