Save yourself from the stress of over-thinking and Heartbreak

I have been terrible with the opposite sex. I would have such a huge crush that i did not know how to behave around the guy, I didn't want to do anything that would make him not like me so I tried so hard to always make a good impression. I tried so hard to be a step ahead, by trying to figure out what was in his head so that i could not mess up.

Now, my best friend has been telling me that I over-think things, but I just could not understand. I just could not tell if i was over-thinking while it was happening. I could not figure out how to prevent myself from over thinking things either, until recently. I received a huge slap in my face and now I can clearly see where I went wrong with things.

After going 6 whole months with a crush on a guy, trying to figure out if he is into me, if he feels the same way I do, I found myself being a heartbroken idiot, who tried to turn nothing into something and while losing a very good friend in the process.

Here is how to prevent yourself from over thinking, and to recognize when you are overthinking.

1) Know what you want from a potential partner!!
If you are looking for a relationship, make a list of all the qualities that you want in your partner. For example:
- Has to be reliable and supportive
- Has to be able to accept my passion for sports
- Has to want a family someday...
Do not give your heart to someone who is not what you want! If you are just looking for someone you can hangout with, just friends nothing as serious as a long-term relationship, sex can be involved too. Make sure you know if that is what you want too!! Never settle for anything other than what you want! save yourself the stress

2) If you are the slightest bit interested in someone, go talk to them!
Do not make any judgement until you do. Learn something about them directly from their mouth that way you can decide if you should continue your interest in that person.

For example: you see this cute girl around campus. You see her walking with friends often, so you assume she must be popular. You think she is cute, so you assume she has alot of guys interested in her. You see a guy walk by her and say HEY! so you assume he must be after her. For all you know, that girl could be a total weirdo. Those girls she is walking with are not her friends, she is actually just using them as servants because she is blackmailing them. Guys don't like her because she is a extremely loud, obnoxious, and bitchy and that guy that just waved at her is gay. Learn about the person before you decide if you want to invest your thoughts in them!!!

3) Do not try to interpret someone's words to work in your favor!!
Take them for what they really are!! The more you hope that things are going to work out, the more you keep yourself from recognizing the reality of the whole situation. Hoping leads to over thinking.

For example: There is a guy that I really want to get to know from my class. I want him to like me back so bad. I go try to talk to him and as the conversation is ending he says "See you around!", Because I want him to like me so bad I am now wondering, does "See You around!" mean that he likes me to and that he wants to go out sometime? No it does not!! He never said that he likes you and he never asked you out. You are just interpreting "See you around" to mean those things because that is what you are hoping it to mean, when the reality is just that, a simple "See you around".

"If you are looking for a relationship, make a list of all the qualities that you want in your partner."

Just think about this logically for a second. How many times have you told someone "See you around!"? You just told your professor "See you around". You just told your roommate "See you later". You just told a girl in your study group who you are not the least bit attracted to "See you around".. Now in all of those times, were you signaling to these people that you really liked them and want to ask them out?? NO!! you just meant exactly what you said "SEE YOU AROUND!"

4) If reading a persons signals feels complicated, then do not think about them anymore!!
Stop stressing your brain and your heart out!! Mutual interest is not complicated. You already made it clear to a person that you are interested in them, there is nothing left for you to do. You have just put the ball in their court. Either they are going to say "Yes i will go out with you" or they wont. If the response is anything other than a simple "Yes i will go out with you" then that is what the reality is.

If someone really likes you back, but they are pretending that they do not, then they are being very immature and you should not want to deal with immature people who cant make up their minds on whether they want something/someone or not.

5.) Be patient and have a life!!
Do not make one person your everything too early on. If you are expecting someone to be head over heels for you when you just got there phone number yesterday and they don't even know you yet, then you are either very desperate or very cocky.

The whole point in getting the girls number should be just to see where it goes and see if you could get a chance to learn more about her. Once you talk to the girl, you might decide that she is not your type.

Right now you should have a mind set like this: Your own life should matter way more to you than this girl you hardly know, but you WANT to make time for her. Once you get her number, ask her when would be a good time to call? Even though you have a lot of important things going on in your life, you decided to take some time out to call this girl. If she doens't asnwer the phone, then leave a cool charming funny voice mail message asking her to call you back. If she never calls you back, you should be able to naturally forget her anyway because you actually really do have other things happening in your life.

If you are thinking to your self right now "okay, so i have to wait a few days and then call her", or "oooh! I have to pretend that I don't care". NO!! That is over-thinking and you still have it wrong!! A man or woman of any substance has no time to stress about crushes and dating, they are truly focused people who MAKE TIME for dating.

6.) Be a person of substance.
Be a person who enjoys life. Be a person who knows how to enjoy the moment. Do not let unnecessary things stress you out! If meditating helps you to get your thoughts in order, then try that but you have to be happy with yourself before you can love someone or else you will end up in an unhealthy situation.