How many of us have a difficult time reflecting on our actions; knowing that we could have done so much better in our past relationship? Perhaps, if we looked at ourselves sooner the outcome would have been different; maybe you would still be with your significant other.
Below are two polar opposite personality traits possessive and neglectful that can cause a potentially great relationship to come to an end.
Below are very detailed descriptions of how these types of people may operate:
1. You Are Possessive
Controlling in many different ways
A. You call or text non-stop throughout the day.
Sure, it's sweet to touch bases with your loved one; to let them know that you miss them. However, you find yourself racking up a numerous amount of outgoing phone calls and texts to your love; without yet having received a response.
This type of behavior is smothering.
Sure, your love could be doing a lot of things and didn't get an opportunity to look at their phone. But how would you know the truth of the matter? Your constant text messages and phone calls were enough to scare this person away
B. You tell your significant other what they can or cannot wear.
I understand that you don't like the person you care about to receive certain types of attention. But, one important thing that you must remember is that they are their own person. They will wear what they want to wear.
Your significant other receiving attention from the opposite sex should be the least of your concerns. You might not like the reaction they get from people of your gender but you must trust them enough to go in public settings and turn down advances.
Your trust factor shouldn't lie in the fact of whether they choose to wear some thing revealing or not that day. Where is your self esteem?
C. You get highly upset when your significant other is in the company of others.
Your significant other deserves a life outside of you. If you truly care for them, you will encourage their development and growth. How can they have that, if they are always under your shadow?
Don't guilt trip your significant other because they chose to be with their friends .
If your concern is controlling them so they don't cheat on you, then you have to ask yourself "Can I really stop them from cheating?" If a person wants to cheat they will find a way to do so , no matter what you do!
Trying to control them in this aspect will only waste your time and energy.
D. You will not feel contented until you know where your significant other is at all times.
This goes right along with (C). You are once again trying to have the power to dictate how your significant other lives their life. You won't feel okay until you feel in total control. You demand your significant other to constantly text or call you when they get from point (A) to (B). They have to send texts of their movements through out the day. If they miss one of their routine texts, you will grow livid! In your mind something so small is very huge. How could they have forgotten to text you? Perhaps, it is because they were too busy cheating!
Eventually your own insecurities grow louder than any voice, and causes an end to your relationship.
E. You have stalked your significant other.
Something seems funny about the last message they sent you. Matter of fact, you haven't really heard from them today. Something must be going on...and whatever it is you're going to find out!
Lets just hope they don't see you....
F. You have immediate access to their phone/ social media.
If they refuse to give you access to their social media or phone then it is clear that they have something to hide. If someone is loyal then they would allow you to see all of their text messages, phone calls, and activities on social media (these are the unreasonable thoughts that flow inside of your mind). You pick a fight with your significant other about this. They stand their ground, and still refuse to let you see their phone and social media. When the opportunity presents itself, you snoop through their phones and messages.
G. You are upset because your significant other has friends of the opposite gender
Your significant other has friends of the opposite gender, this makes you unhappy. You find yourself growing even more jealous, the more attractive their friends are. You tell your significant other that they should drop all of their opposite sex friends to be with you. If they refuse, you grow angry and disappointed.
So, I've spent a significant amount of time speaking about the type of person that is possessive. Of course someone that is, doesn't have to do all of the things on the list. If someone's actions scream insecurity even if they are only doing just one of the above mentioned actions, it's enough to scare any one away. My advice is, work on yourself before you enter into a relationship. If you enter into a relationship wounded from a previous one, then you will only create conflict.
You can never give someone a whole of yourself, if you are entering into a relationship incomplete.
I will now speak about a different type of person that has the ability to end a relationship. This type of person is completely opposite from the possessive type. Perhaps, they care too little and only about themselves.
2. You Are Neglectful
You operate as if you do not care.
A. You barely ever call or text your significant other.
You usually have your significant other take the initiative when it comes to contact. If they spend days not texting you first, you'll let it continue until they message or call you. Your significant other feels as if you have no interest in them because contact always has to come from them.
Sometimes, you'll take many hours or days to get back to them.
They feel as if they are on the back burner.
B. You make no time to be with your significant other.
You're always "too busy" to ever have time for them. Your significant other is beginning to feel as if every one/ every thing comes before them. This leads them to feeling isolated in their own relationship.
C. Your sex life is failing due to lack of effort.
You make no effort in the bedroom. Every thing is predictable. In fact, most of the time you tend to turn your significant other down because you're not in the mood. Just how long do you think your significant other will cling on before they call it quits?
D. You no longer compliment them.
As small as this seems, to your significant other this is huge. They change their hair/clothes and you never seem to notice. This makes them feel undesired. They get immediately happy when they notice those from the opposite gender taking notice in their appearance. This is the attention they want from you. This leads them to realizing that they deserve better.
E. You have cheated on them.
Whether you did so emotionally or physically, the impact was the same. You gave all of this attention to someone other than the one you said you'd "commit" yourself to.
You came up with one hundred reasons to validate your cheating but wrong is wrong. You destroyed the trust aspect of your relationship. Even if your significant other doesn't walk away immediately, the fact that they can never trust you again is enough to make your relationship crumble or never be the same.
F. You grew a part
Unlike the other reasons this isn't anyone's fault. This is a relationship just taking its natural course. You both have been together for some time but seemed to become very different people over the past few years. You know longer have much in common anymore. If you were to stay with your significant other you'd be "settling" and this is not what you want.
The key to any successful relationship is a healthy balance. Show that you care but at the same time give room to the person you love to let them grow. Acknowledge your significant other's wants and needs, they should do the same in return. Listen to each other, and communicate well. If they give you no reason to distrust them, then your insecurities are speaking. Enter into a relationship with trust, and the desire to work towards happiness and success towards a happy future together.