This is from experience and it's so common on GAG and the Internet but I never found any solid advice..Just dribble about 'the rules of dating'. Here's really how to handle someone that goes MIA and what to do afterwards.
You meet a guy/girl and you hit it off straight away, You text each other all day and can't get enough of each other. You can't put each other down, You wait a respectable time to have sex & it's great. They meet your friends & you plan great days out together. You haven't argued & they've opened up to you a bit..Your exclusive! Even planned a weekend away together and then poof..They go MIA.
Just moving on is hard & if you can't then read on...
What did I do wrong/What happened?
Nothing, that's the problem. You were too forgiving & too caring without them giving you any reason to do so yet. A month or 2 and your giving them your heart. Would you play fight with a dog you don't know and expect to not get bitten? It's the same thing.
He/she went MIA and they came back after 'space'?
You followed the no contact 'rule' and he came back after 'space' with roses & an apology saying they want to give this a proper go.
You forgave them because you were so happy they came back/They want this too right?
Did you make them work for it or cave like a soggy gingerbread house with the sweet gestures and puppy eyes..Yes you did.
Flowers and sweet nothings..Is that all it took. Human nature is to fight for what they want, You didn't exactly make them fight very hard there.
Are they going to do it again?
Probably.. You made it so easy for them before to ignore you, make you wait around for them. Keep you guessing.
What do they have to work for now...They can wander off and you'll be there to take them back whenever they want you.. And yes this counts even if your 'friends' after the break up.
But men/women need space to figure out if they want you?
This is true, women fall in love with the time they spend with someone. Men fall in love with the time apart. But what most people don't relise is that those feelings can disappear very quickly when they relise you've been waiting for them. The other person knows they've behaved like an idiot & your understanding of this/Of their space that they need. But what are you.. A doormat?
This behaviour is not okay..Give them the space ,definitely.
But it doesn't make it okay and if you let them think it's okay..they will not respect you and you will be that fallback girl/guy.
Your saying don't give them another chance?
Not at all..Some people deserve a second chance but when they come back in contact they will push boundaries. It's human nature, they'll see how you respond to they're disappearing act and your reaction will determine the dynamc/power of that relationship.
Stop the puppy from peeing in the kitchen and it will pee somewhere else in the house and probably on all your stuff. Let the puppy pea in the kitchen and then tell him it's not acceptable and the puppy will probably never pee inside again.
Get the picture?
The jist of it:
They've let you down, They've done it to test boundaries/Find out what you'll put up with.
Your a prize to be won through dating..If he's already got the prize without any of the work then it's not a prize anymore.
This behaviour will only happen if you let them..We're human. We're alpha and want to remain alpha no matter what but will be equal or willing to try if a member of the pack puts down their position clearly.
You were on par with them before but now they're pulling the puppet strings, Take the puppet away from the puppeteer and watch the dynamics change.