My Success Story About Getting Back With My Ex-Girlfriend

Hello,

I'm here to share my story of getting my ex-girlfriend back because I feel like there aren't too many of these on the internet and this was surprising to me. Also, my experience with my breakup was really REALLY hard and it was refreshing to see success stories rather than BS step-by-step websites showing you how to "win" your ex back.

To start, my girlfriend broke up with me roughly 4 months ago after 2 years of dating. We met when we were young (18 y/o) but we were much more mature than others our age. I broke up with her before college for a few months and she did the same thing to me a year later (she started college this year). Basically, I was acting like a jerk and very ungrateful even though deep in my heart I knew she was inherently special to me. In my defense I was working 2 jobs over the summer and was stressed and tired.

However, once she was gone I knew I had made a huge mistake. A veil of hopelessness came over me and I was miserable for the days, weeks, and months that followed. This was hands down the worst experience I had ever been through in my young life and it really opened my eyes to how harsh breakups are.

BEFORE YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX:

- Make sure you are getting back for the right reasons.

- Make sure this person is truly special to you and you can see the relationship improving in the long term.

- Make sure this is what you want! Don't just chase to capture the goal. Make sure you really want to get back with your ex.

- Evaluate the reasons why you broke up in the first place and figure out whether or not these mistakes are fixable.

Alright, so here's my story:

In the days and weeks following the breakup I was very emotional with her and was aggresively spilling my feelings to her. BAD BAD BAD idea. Very cliche in the breakup world but you reallllyyyy need to give them space as difficult as it is. You need to do this because its exactly the opposite of what your ex thinks you're going to do and makes them wonder about you. I didn't do this at first and it set me back.

You need to be indifferent. When your ex texts you (and they most likely will) be short and concise with them. I truthfully think that people can see right through the whole ignoring "no contact" thing and I think it actually hurts your cause. Don't initiate any conversations though. If your ex truly cares about you they will text you within a few weeks to a month. (Watch the seinfeld episode about indifference being attractive, funny but true).

Once my ex started texting me and I established my new plan, they started to chase me. They were wondering why I didn't seem to care about what they had to say and this made them want to know more. Give yourself a bit of mystery, this will help you out. After a week or so of concise texting on my part, we agreed to meet up. Met up with her without any expectations and this was good because I found out she basically had a friends with benefits. This pissed me off, but I kept my cool with her and remained INDIFFERENT. She wanted a reaction and I didn't give it to her. I was mysterious and this made her want to crack me. She began texting me more and more and even started snapchatting me. I remained indifferent and got more and more meetups. Kept my cool at the meetups and just did things that would make her slightly regain an emotional attachment to me. Eventually, one night we met up and went to church and came back to watch a movie at my place (all initiated by her). Then we started talking and she said her and her "almost boyfriend" stopped talking. After the movie one thing led to another and we talked about stuff and got back together.

If there is another guy involved, dont be discouraged. In my case there was another guy, keep your nose in the picture, make your ex text you and it will make the guy who thinks he knows your girl ansy and he will crack because he's most likely a scrub anyway.

When you guys get back together, things will feel weird and you will want to immediately pick up where your old relationship ended. Don't do this, start new and slow. Have a talk with your ex (new girlfriend) and create expectations, talk about how you've changed to make the relationship work this time around. Most importantly...CHANGE! Talk is cheap.

Now me and my ex are back together and are doing well. The relationship has improved, it is much more real and there is just more love being shared between us.

Overall, just be cool with whatever happens and you will find yourself making better choices with and without your ex. Once you can be indifferent you will succeed. When you feel the urge to text your ex, just remember that you are only setting yourself back...possibly for months. Chase your ex passively by making them chase you. You will never succeed if your ex doesn't have a mutual interest so don't be that mopey guy. Be a man and you will reattract your ex. I hope my post helped anyone who is in a state of confusion because I've been there and quite frankly, it sucks. Good luck all!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't agree with this. But neither do I agree with NOT getting back together. This is pure example of manipulation. Love is not build on it. My ex dumped me almost a year ago and for a long time I wanted to get back together. But I didn't pretend or act the certain way just to get his attention, I kept being me, the same person I was for 4 years. It's not me who ended it and who needs a change, it's him. I was the best version of me throughout our whole relationship, I did nothing wrong, and he knows this. It's him who lost a way and got a bit crazy. But I still cared about him and wanted him in my life, even though it might be naive and stupid giving that I still want someone who dumped me for stupid reasons. But hey, it's how I feel, and it doesn't matter if it's stupid or not, the point is that it's real. I didn't pretend to be indifferent or cold, I was acting the way I felt and I will never regret that. Sometimes I missed him, so I call him. Sometimes I want to ask him something, so I ask him. Sometimes I'm not in the mood for him, and so I tell him. It's how I feel and I guess that's a part of the process of healing. But whatever it is, I just want to stay real. Ultimately, it's up to him to decide if he wants me back or not. And I came to the point where I'm fine either way. I NATURALLY became a bit indifferent, didn't have to act or pretend to get there. But what I know for sure is that, if we do get back together one day, it's not gonna be because I "played the game" or manipulated him, it's gonna be because I stayed real, and that's what he's gonna get if being with me. Relationships shouldn't be like a marketing products; you make it look so awesome on a commercial and then when someone buys it it's not really like that isn't it? Well people should know what they are getting in a relationship, especially when getting back with an ex. If I manipulated him and he got back because of that, how am I supposed to act when really getting back together? Can't really manipulate anymore, can't I? The mask is gonna drop down and he will know it was just an act, and ultimately he might dump me again. And if that happens, and if I ignore him, he will know/think that if I'm ignoring him that I'm just playing the game again. I think that dumpees should either disappear completely after the breakup, or stay the same. The point is to stay real and do what you feel like you need to do.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Very very helpful. I kept wanting to talk to my ex just after the breakup for a couple weeks to try and understand a truth behind the breakup. I eventually told her to block me on facebook and haven't heard from her since. she might unblock me eventually, but yeah, I'll try and keep my cool. the advice helped bro. :)

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Join the discussion

What Girls Said 5

  • "I broke up with her before college for a few months and she did the same thing to me a year later (she started college this year)."

    By definition you are EXACTLY like every other 18 year old and their stupid "on and off" relationships.

    Then you proceeded to write up a text wall of game playing to get your way.

    You and maturity aren't even looking in the same direction, kid.😐

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  • I wish that was easy for me. I'm having s hard time with the break up thing cuz I'm in love with my boyfriend and we just broke up yesterday.

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    • Believe me, It wasn't easy for me. I made mistakes at first too. I'm just telling you that you will be get better results by being indifferent regardless of how easy or hard it is. It's a sacrifice you will eventually have to make so its better to start now instead of down the road. My advice to you is to not come off desperate. As a guy who has broken up with a girl this was the most unattractive thing. Be mysterious like I said and your guy will come back in due time. From there its up to you to play your cards right to get him back. Don't tell him how much you miss him either! Just go with the flow and be indifferent. Sorry to hear about your situation, I know its hard but stay strong, you only get so many days on this earth, don't waste them being miserable! Best of luck to you!

    • My dad made it pretty clear that he is the last guy I will ever date. I won't be allowed to date anyone ever again 😒

  • I mean, I guess it's good for you that you got what you wanted but do you realize all of what you wrote is like a form of manipulation?

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  • Tldr
    But I highly advise against people going back to their ex. You are just an exception to the rule. It's also important to love yourself first above anything https://i.imgur.com/HVNBWD5.gif?noredirect

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  • It's been 2 months since my ex of 9 months dumped me and he hasn't contacted me at all except to ask for a shirt back. Then when I drove the half an hour to his house to drop it off he didn't really say anything to me and sent me on my way. We were so madly in love it's crazy that things are like this now. I'm praying that I can just become a better person and a more attractive girl and then he'll want to be with me again in the future :( I was his first love and first time plus longest relationship he's ever had.

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    • Well, I hope you have tried to improve yourself and learned to live without him. Once I got to that point things got better for me and it didn't matter whether or not my ex contacted me. If she did, she did, and if she didn't, well that was okay too. Sometimes its best to focus on YOU and let everything else fall into place.

    • Omg we're in the same scenario! Except mine was 11months tgt. N its been 3months.

What Guys Said 4

  • The power of not caring! Relationships are too counterintuitive and illogical for me. To me, being indifferent would mean not knowing how to respond to her chasing. If you really didn't care, you probably wouldn't have gotten back together. There should probably be a myTake on how to feign indifference effectively, with real-life examples.

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  • Good for you man. I'd dare call you an exception. Your girl too. However, most of us are barely fortunate enough to say a proper goodbye to an ex or obtaining closure. However you got her back. I hope you keep her and keep her happy. Not many get to love the same person twice.

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  • I don't know how you do it I was so mad at my LDR that she treated me like a friend being a friend it mean I don't have to deserve her like a boyfriend again as she don't have feeling for me. I was so mad that she send me message like after so many days I never give her space and time. really she left me that was my first relationship.. Its been 4 month from now that I found her on Okcupid. ahh I can't do anything for her to get her back nothing. life is long I have to know that what to do with my real life. I never deserve for her. I HAVE to learn how to live withoout her

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  • Getting back with an ex is stupid. Scarcity thinking. You're an idiot, and so is she.

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    • Not always a bad thing, depends on the people. We were young and needed time to grow while being apart and we gravitated back toward each other. So calling us idiots is a bit immature if you ask me. It's people on your level who can't make things work with an ex.

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