I'm here to share my story of getting my ex-girlfriend back because I feel like there aren't too many of these on the internet and this was surprising to me. Also, my experience with my breakup was really REALLY hard and it was refreshing to see success stories rather than BS step-by-step websites showing you how to "win" your ex back.
To start, my girlfriend broke up with me roughly 4 months ago after 2 years of dating. We met when we were young (18 y/o) but we were much more mature than others our age. I broke up with her before college for a few months and she did the same thing to me a year later (she started college this year). Basically, I was acting like a jerk and very ungrateful even though deep in my heart I knew she was inherently special to me. In my defense I was working 2 jobs over the summer and was stressed and tired.
However, once she was gone I knew I had made a huge mistake. A veil of hopelessness came over me and I was miserable for the days, weeks, and months that followed. This was hands down the worst experience I had ever been through in my young life and it really opened my eyes to how harsh breakups are.
BEFORE YOU GET BACK WITH YOUR EX:
- Make sure you are getting back for the right reasons.
- Make sure this person is truly special to you and you can see the relationship improving in the long term.
- Make sure this is what you want! Don't just chase to capture the goal. Make sure you really want to get back with your ex.
- Evaluate the reasons why you broke up in the first place and figure out whether or not these mistakes are fixable.
Alright, so here's my story:
In the days and weeks following the breakup I was very emotional with her and was aggresively spilling my feelings to her. BAD BAD BAD idea. Very cliche in the breakup world but you reallllyyyy need to give them space as difficult as it is. You need to do this because its exactly the opposite of what your ex thinks you're going to do and makes them wonder about you. I didn't do this at first and it set me back.
You need to be indifferent. When your ex texts you (and they most likely will) be short and concise with them. I truthfully think that people can see right through the whole ignoring "no contact" thing and I think it actually hurts your cause. Don't initiate any conversations though. If your ex truly cares about you they will text you within a few weeks to a month. (Watch the seinfeld episode about indifference being attractive, funny but true).
Once my ex started texting me and I established my new plan, they started to chase me. They were wondering why I didn't seem to care about what they had to say and this made them want to know more. Give yourself a bit of mystery, this will help you out. After a week or so of concise texting on my part, we agreed to meet up. Met up with her without any expectations and this was good because I found out she basically had a friends with benefits. This pissed me off, but I kept my cool with her and remained INDIFFERENT. She wanted a reaction and I didn't give it to her. I was mysterious and this made her want to crack me. She began texting me more and more and even started snapchatting me. I remained indifferent and got more and more meetups. Kept my cool at the meetups and just did things that would make her slightly regain an emotional attachment to me. Eventually, one night we met up and went to church and came back to watch a movie at my place (all initiated by her). Then we started talking and she said her and her "almost boyfriend" stopped talking. After the movie one thing led to another and we talked about stuff and got back together.
If there is another guy involved, dont be discouraged. In my case there was another guy, keep your nose in the picture, make your ex text you and it will make the guy who thinks he knows your girl ansy and he will crack because he's most likely a scrub anyway.
When you guys get back together, things will feel weird and you will want to immediately pick up where your old relationship ended. Don't do this, start new and slow. Have a talk with your ex (new girlfriend) and create expectations, talk about how you've changed to make the relationship work this time around. Most importantly...CHANGE! Talk is cheap.
Now me and my ex are back together and are doing well. The relationship has improved, it is much more real and there is just more love being shared between us.
Overall, just be cool with whatever happens and you will find yourself making better choices with and without your ex. Once you can be indifferent you will succeed. When you feel the urge to text your ex, just remember that you are only setting yourself back...possibly for months. Chase your ex passively by making them chase you. You will never succeed if your ex doesn't have a mutual interest so don't be that mopey guy. Be a man and you will reattract your ex. I hope my post helped anyone who is in a state of confusion because I've been there and quite frankly, it sucks. Good luck all!