The Red Signs & How I Wasted 4 Years Ignoring Them!

amandaschwartz
The Red Signs & How I Wasted 4 Years Ignoring Them!

I was 24 when I met Jack during a work event. He was the same age as I, an aspiring business owner who had a great smile & filled the "tall, dark and handsome" cliche. After a few drinks, and several laughs later, he asked me for my number and I was delighted. "What a catch!" I thought to myself as I awaited our next chat. It wasn't too long after, when I received a text to hang out.

Jack and I went for coffee and talked for 3 hours! Time seemed to fly by and I was delighted to have met someone who seemed to have it together. It wasn't long before we would spend everyday together just chatting away.

5 months later, he asked me to move in with him... and call me crazy but I did! It wasn't long before our happiness turned into a horror story. A year into us living together I discovered that Jack was looking at other girls on his social media and chatting with them. I confronted him and he burst out crying saying that he is sorry and that he will delete his social media profile. Seeing as he did...... I forgave him.

A few months into that ordeal, his business was going downhill and he got himself into a slump, so I ended up paying the rent, the bills, groceries and us going on. I turned into his mom.

Soon I was the only one cooking, cleaning and doing laundry while he was just "there". He was agitated when I wouldn't give him sex and proclaimed that I was tired, but that only made him more angered at me.

Within 2 years all we did was fight. We went to see a therapist and our roller coaster only continued. I was foolish to think that Jack would change, and when things only got worse, I realized who he was.

During fights he would break dishes, punch walls, and scream at me at the top of his lungs. The next day he would apologize and promise it wouldn't happen again.

4 years in, I was fed up, but it wasn't until he put his hands on me that made me end it all. One afternoon I confronted him that I wanted to end the relationship as he makes no effort to get a job, or help support us and the house. He got defensive and blocked me from leaving by grabbing my arm. When I had asked him to stop he put his arm at my throat and proceeded to lecture me. I remember as tears were rolling down my face... WHY WHY didn't I listen to my gut? Why did I refuse to see the red signs in the beginning?

I was so lucky, but I managed to leave during the night as he was asleep. My mom came the next day to pick up my things. To this day, and a year later after we broke up he continues to message me and claim he is a changed man, but 4 years really showed me what type of person he was.

Please ladies and gentlemen, when you start seeing the first signs of something toxic, have the guts to walk away. Although I am lucky I didn't get physically hurt, 4 years of my life flew by. At 27 to start all over again truly hurts...

The Red Signs & How I Wasted 4 Years Ignoring Them!
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