Breaking up with a girlfriend will 80% of times bring her to tears and she will likely cry and be in pain. Most of the times no normal man is ever proud of it but only misogynists and sadists. Making girls cry is really no laughing matter, we don't like doing that and it's best avoided.
So you want to break up with your girlfriend but you don't want to be the one doing the break up? I have some very useful tips for you and she'll be gone without you hurting her at all!
Cry when she is around and at your place
Say you are depressed, distressed, whatever. I am sure you have reasons to be sad just like everybody else, so it's not hard to find one. Crying will make her dump you because you're a man and women want the heroic and strong men. She once saw you as one but you can always "prove her wrong" :)
Crying men are just as attractive to women as very fat women are attractive to us. Makes sense? I thought so!
Stop spending money and gifts on her
Women measure our love by how much time we spend with them AND more importantly they ESPECIALLY measure how much we love them by how much money we spend on them. Simply stop doing that. She'll be gone.
Start drinking lots of strong alcohol
Drink the strong alcohol whenever she is near you. Be drunk if you have to be BUT NEVER HURT HER regardless. She may even try to take away your bottle and that's fine. You'll drink again next time whenever you can.
Blame it on depression, tough life, temporary overwhelming hardships...
The internet is for p o r n! Grab your D and double click: P o r n, p o r n, pooorn!
Always have p o r n videos and p o r n sites open on your devices. Literally surf through the p o r n sites like it's 14. February. Show no shame in it and be proud of it. Fill your browsing history up completely (in case she snoops you). Save a ton of p o r n videos and p o r n pictures. If that isn't enough, then start talking about sex as much as those blue anons asking whether X inches is big enough. Make all your conversations about sex, sex, sex, sex, sex...
Simply overdose on p o r n and sex topics! You pig! :)
Stay at home and don't go out or anywhere
Blame it on depression. You not going out with her will make her detached from you. Refuse any help from therapists.
Declare yourself being childfree and/or anti marriage
Tell her you made up your mind. Too many examples of failed marriages (especially those horror divorce stories) as well as overpopulation and the economy not improving. You will never marry. You will never have kids. Tell her you're saving up for vasectomy.
Stay stubborn about it!
Join the military (and stay there)
Very easy! Nearly no woman in history waited for their boyfriend to come back - especially if he's deployed somewhere like the overseas. At least you'll work on your future rather than sitting in depression.
However if you're into money, there should be better alternatives available, that will drain your time. Consider working overtime on a weekly basis or even 2 jobs. Be home only and only to eat, shower and sleep.
And what after the break up?
You return back to your normal self. She has seen the dead end of you but that doesn't mean you should stay this way. Cover yourself up like you have successfully recovered from depression. Some things you did are reversible.