If you haven't seen the first one, please click the link HERE to see Part 1.
After the love of my life passed away, it took more than a year before I dated again. I went back online and promptly had several rejections and remembered why I hated online dating. The majority of them, at least 50% of ALL rejections, came from the fact that I was too short for women online (being only 181 cm waking up and all; 180 at the end of the day). I came across Maggie at the end of January 2014, after almost a month of being back online. She was initially anyone I'd consider physically attractive or beautiful or anything. But she did have a gentle charm about her. And like the last lady in my life, she wrote to me first. I didn't fit what she physically described she wanted in a man though, as she was taller than me. After 50 rejections a day over the course of 28 days, my self-esteem was pretty shot and I was feeling very low about my looks, and even worse about my inadequate height.
Maggie was 6'1" (184 cm) with light brown hair and hazel eyes. She was a medium build with a pear-shaped body and smallish boobs; a 34C. She quickly took an interest to me, even though I didn't try very much with her. In all honesty, I was a defeatist at this time. I lost the true love of my life, and had hundreds of women sh*t on me for being too short, and so, I wasn't expecting much with Maggie. Maggie was intelligent and could hold interesting conversations better than most women. She worked at a movie theater, and I guess, was used to pretty basic and dumb people in her life. Which is why, it's implied, she took a liking to me. She also considered me to be physically attractive, something else 99% of women also would feel the complete opposite of.
I wouldn't agree with anything Maggie said about me, though. I had arguments similar to this with Kaitlyn, but Kaitlyn had a gentleness about her, which made her sound sincere and authentic. Like, I knew she wasn't lying. But Maggie was a more blunt, direct, and stern-voiced person, which made it harder for me to agree with her. Maggie was also suffering with medical bills from a broken leg from a car accident caused by the other party, and these bills, combined with her underpaying job as a theater manager, made her life already pretty stressful.
Although I didn't know it at the time, Maggie saw me as a stress-reliever. Or at least, a potential one. That's what she wanted me to be. In both personality and sex (neither of which I realized until much much later). But she was growing disappointed that I was not taking away some of her stress, but adding to it. And two stressed out people aren't a good mix. Maggie felt this especially because she kept saying all these "nice" things about me that I took as backhanded compliments or outright lies. Like "your height is tall enough for me," which I would take as offensive because she said "tall enough" and not "good" or "attractive." Everything she said I would take offense to because I had become even more insecure due to several women before Maggie.
At one point, in late April, we were playing Bioshock Infinite, and Maggie had "the talk" with me, stating that her medical bills, and life, was too stressful at the moment, and that we weren't working out. I felt disappointed, but not surprised. Maggie stated she dearly wanted to stay friends after that, and hoped that maybe our spark would reignite once again. She didn't return my texts though and essentially ghosted me.
Maggie taught me that women value "confidence" in a man above all else, and that many women just want a guy to make her feel good. Whether or not women should be relying on men for their own emotions is a different conversation altogether but that's what a lot of 'em want. And I wasn't in the mental state to be that man, especially with me being shorter and not the type of man she physically stated wanting in her online profile.
After Maggie, several months had passed and I still kept getting the same online treatment from women. Told I was too short 50% of the time, or told they either didn't date dark-skinned men, didn't date outside their race, or didn't date nonwhites 25% of the time, or told I was ugly to them the other 24% of the time, with 1% being the "other" category.
January 2nd 2015, about eight months since talking to Maggie, was when I came across Emma. I her met her through Reddit, of all places, and not another dating site. I posted in the /r/R4R subreddit about a month or two prior to her contacting me. I stated exactly what I wanted in a partner, suspecting no one out there would be able to match Kaitlyn. But she stepped up to the plate and certainly tried. Or so she thought. I had said in that post that I especially loved redheads and posted that affinity for red hair in my post's title. She responded to it about a month and a half after I made the post.
Emma was 20 at the time, while I was 28, which made her the second youngest person I had dated. Twenty was the very lowest I was willing to date in a girl at the time (I've since expanded to an 11 year age gap, rather than just 8), and there was a reason for this. Young women are typically... Well, dumb. She was nerdy and came off cute and kind, at first. She had a feminine dress style and loved to wear dresses and other girly clothes. Her face was very cute and she was a quintessential ginger with green eyes and looked quite Irish. She even had braces. I was surprised by her size, though. Emma's face would suggest she was no more than 5'6" and 135 lbs. But in reality, she was 6'5" and 350 lbs. She had VERY wide hips, and VERY thick thighs! Her body was a personal 9 out of 10, for me. Her ONLY negative and physical flaw was that she had tiny breasts; a C cup (which on a woman her size, was nearly flat-chested, comparatively).
The sex with her was outstanding. Second best I had in my life, topped only by Kaitlyn, of course. But as far as doing it with someone I didn't love, Emma was the best in that regard. However, what she had in looks and sex appeal she lacked elsewhere. Emma was young, and so in this transitional phase girls seem to go through nowadays where they like boys and are generally romantic and sweet as teenagers, but then become more cynical and nasty as they reach early adulthood or live through it. Emma was one of these types, and was right in the middle of her transitioning into becoming a Karen.
There were two really bad things I found out about her and honestly, it'd be hard to tell which is worse. The first one is, I found out from her Facebook post of her Halloween costume as Rosie the Riveter doing the "We can do it" pose, that I was accidentally dating a feminist. Ugh... Now, had she been older, like 24 or 25, it would have been apparent how disgusting, negative, nasty, rude, vile, and misandrist she was, as she would've gone Fully Woke by then. Maybe she was one of those "I don't hate men" egalitarian feminists that claim to exist, I figured. This was 2015 after all and she had clearly been brainwashed into this very early on in college. But me as one short guy couldn't break a mindset her toxic university third-wave feminist professors and new female friends on campus was feeding her, every day.
I talked to her and had a long conversation with her about her "feminism." Once I brought up the topic, she already knew it was controversial and that some guys wouldn't like that about her. She was prepared to talk about it. She started off by assuring me that she doesn't hate men. That's what she SAID, of course. But she's a feminist. As we talked more, her sentiment was more of condescension, like "I don't hate men; they just don't know any better. That's why we have to teach them how to behave, such as teaching them how not-to-rape, and ridding them of their toxic masculinity." She talked about men as one would a disobedient dog.
Although many people don't remember it, 2015 was also the first time Cancel Culture became a big thing, although it was unnamed at the time. There was "Shirtgate," where a NASA scientist was shamed and bullied online for wearing a shirt depicting sexy comic book women on it. There was an incident were two tech men were having a conversation at a tech seminar to themselves and made a joke about "dongles" and this Karen cunt overheard them, publicly shamed them, and got them fired from their jobs. 2015 was the start of Jordan Peterson's post-university career after they got him "canceled." This was also the year ANTIFA made their big comeback in the 21st century. 2015 was the start of when SJW's really started ruining society. Even I was the victim of this, being accused at "looking at a girl wrongfully", which later lead to a wrongful expulsion from my university and me retaliating in a three year long lawsuit. Needless to say, things were batsh*t insane back then, and haven't ever really gotten better; we're just used to it now. And the girl I was now having amazing sex with, was complicit with all of this and found this acceptable.
Emma being only 20 at the time, and stupid, regardless of her age, couldn't give good excuses to any of these issues I brought up. It was all just the same "That's not real feminism" or "Toxic masculinity deserves such punishment" talking points all feminists seem to do, nowadays. Rightfully, I discovered she was a terrible human being. Probably only recently so, as she seemed like she at least probably used to be a good human being before feminists made her justify hurting men and destroying their lives because "patriarchy."
Before breaking all contact with her following this conversation, I asked her how, after all the things she's said, how she could NOT hate men. She said she didn't get what the big deal was; her boyfriend back home in Idaho was a feminist. That's right; she had a boyfriend. That's the OTHER dealbreaker in her. I was confused and asked her about it. She whipped out her phone and showed me a picture of her standing next to this guy who had to be no taller than 5'8", if that, who looked like an overweight, pre-maturely balding Elijah Wood with a five o'clock shadow, wearing a white t-shirt too small for him, so his belly was sticking out. Not to be rude or mean, but if you ever had to picture what a cuck or a soy boy looked like, he was it. He was shorter than even me, even less good looking than me, and just as overweight but looked sloppier. He had this constipated looking smile, like he was dead inside, but had to give a fake smile for the selfie with Emma and had forgotten how to smile in the first place.
Like I said, he was the most stereotypical looking "beta male" one could imagine. And besides being insulted that Emma was the "open relationship" type and had hid this from me the entire time, I was doubly insulted in the implication that THAT was how she saw me, and that her "type" seems to be cuckold-looking men. For as insecure and depressed as I've been in my life, I've NEVER a sniveling, cowardly, pathetic cuck or simp. I was rightfully upset at her and asked her why she never said any of this before. She gave me the "Current Year" excuse, basically saying how in 2015, open relationships should be the norm by now and didn't think it was any kind of big deal, especially since the guy was back home in Idaho. I could've gotten angry, but I just laughed. I said how she was immature, very dumb, and very selfish, and that I should've seen the warning signs, early on. I just thought the whole thing was funny and left the library café we were talking in.
Emma taught me to vet my potential matches better and to not be fooled by a great body and a cute smile. While she was a 9 on the outside, she was a 2 on the inside, and that score, when averaged out, is not a quality partner and I deserve better. Most men do.
The day I first started talking to ''ray-na'' was May 2015. I don't even remember how we first stated talking, but I didn't find her on a dating site like so many other girls. Rana was... Different. She was a 5'11" British chick with brown eyes, wide hips, the thickest ass a Brit could ever possibly have, and huge boobs; like a 36H or something. She also dressed very femininely and had a great sense of fashion. She had contact lenses, but on rare occasions would still wear her old glasses, which made her look even sexier and I preferred those to contacts. And to top it off, Rana was a huge gamer and nerd. She even had a YouTube channel (that no one watched.)
Physically, Rana was most things I'd want in a woman. She was the stereotypical "big tiddy nerdy girlfriend" so many guys wished they could have. She wasn't goth, but she was tall, cute, and perky. While her soul wasn't as compatible with me as Kaitlyn, and her body wasn't as sexy as Emma, Rana on paper, was 2nd best in many categories. The only thing that threw me off was that Rana had purple hair the first time I met her. That was a red flag I ignored entirely. There was just one problem with Rana: She was certifiably insane.
Rana actually came from a wealthy family back home in England. She was another college student living here in America. So even though she was practically royalty back home, she was just another a University of Pennsylvania student here in the US, majoring in psychology (of all ironies). Even though she initially had purple hair with pink streaks when I first met her, lots of girls that aren't feminists had neon colored hair. I even asked her where she leaned politically, and she said she was moderately left, and confirmed she wasn't a feminist (although she didn't dislike feminism either, which would've been the ideal answer). She changed her hair color every two weeks, in fact. So far, Rana had passed all the previous red flags I was taught to look for in women. But she had new ones to teach me.
Rana talked about her ex one day. How, she almost got married to him, how he proposed to her using a capsule vending machine plastic toy ring, and how he "broke her heart." She wouldn't say how he broke her heart, though. There were a lot of small, erratic behaviors Rana displayed that are hard to put into words. But to cut to the chase, Rana had what I would later learn was called "Narcissistic Personality Disorder." This is different from Emma, who was a good girl who had become corrupted by far-left politics and turned into a dark-hearted and self-absorbed Karen. Rana was so off, that she wasn't normal. Rana took Emma's narcissism and cranked it up to eleven. She wasn't even aware of how narcissistic she was and when I tried to point it out to her, she always denied it. She thought if something didn't involve her, it was irrelevant and didn't matter to her.
Rana was crazy yes, and I can handle crazy (as most women are crazy, as is). But Rana was the kind of crazy whose ex boyfriend filed a restraining order against her. For what? I don't even know! I don't think Rana, despite her size and strength, was violent. She didn't have that kind of personality. But what else could make her so threatening if she wasn't violent? And the worst thing about Rana? She wasn't even clingy or needy! That's the kind of crazy I could not only handle, but welcome. Rana was crazy AND entitled.
It was becoming clear to me that being with Rana would be what people nowadays refer to as a "toxic" relationship. She was the type who'd be manipulative, and try to gaslight me (she didn't have the intelligence to do so, but I could tell she'd done it successfully before in the past and it probably worked for her most of the time). She's the type to feign being hurt, emotional, scared, or vulnerable, just for the attention. She was a master con-artist and manipulator. She just couldn't pull those games on me as I was too smart to fall for them. But at the same time, she was a pretty attractive woman with an irresistible sultry British accent. And as much as I can handle crazy, I could also recognize it was a relationship that was going nowhere.
By July, Rana had now dyed her hair blonde, as she was going traveling abroad for her summer vacation from university. She wanted me to write to her everyday. I sent her an email on the first day she left, breaking up with her. It wasn't the most straightforward way to handle things, but it was the "safest." Especially with her now out of the country. Luckily, she had never come back to my place before, so she didn't know where I lived. She might have sent me an email back, but I never opened it, if she did. And that was the last I spoke with Rana.
After dealing with a lesbian, a nympho, a girl not over her ex, an insecure woman, the death of my soulmate, a woman seeking Alpha Males, a cheating feminist, and a toxic relationship, you'd think 'KeerVeer' would have been the most normal out of all of them. After all, she was a 5'10", super-thick, curvy, busty Indian student getting her Masters in pharmacy. (Something like that; she wanted to be a pharmacist). And while I was attracted to her, seeing her throughout campus at my time attending Temple, the reality is, I doubt Keerthi was ever truly attracted to me.
I first saw her in the hallways of my university in January 2016, waiting for the always-crowded elevators (they only had three elevators for roughly 900 students in that 12-floor building). I talked to her, little by little, always meeting her at the elevators before our 9am classes. She would get off on floor 8; I would get off at 11. After about the tenth time meeting by the elevators, I finally asked her for her phone number. She opted to give me her email address instead, as she didn't trust me. I took it and continued talking to her that way. Finally, after a week of talking to her both through email, and meeting her by the elevators each morning, she finally gave me her number.
Although Keerthi was raised by a traditional Indian family, she was also American born and raised, and was free to choose whoever she wanted in a boyfriend. However, she still respected her parents and her 6'6" Indian father, a doctor, had high expectations for her to be with a man who was essentially a younger, thinner version of himself. Although I had never met him, Keerthi had told me that her father wanted her to be with a different kind of man. Basically another case of a woman wanting some super-Alpha, 6'5" Chad. Only, of the Indian variety this time.
Since I'm running out of space to type this, the short version of why we didn't work was, Keerhti never saw me as "good enough." Not tall enough, not cocky enough, not rich enough, etc. It was almost like she was "pity dating" me. And it's not like she was that great in personality, either, Keerthi was vapid, vain, and obsessed with herself. She also may have been a gold-digger, or at least, wouldn't mind being one, although I never simped to her. Keerthi just wasn't a good woman. At least, not to me. Despite her killer body, she wasn't very nice and didn't treat me like a partner should have. I eventually realized this, and she decided to end things there, with very little care or shock. Ol' KeerVeer, a few years later, later lost a ton of weight, like 100+ pounds, and got skinny, but that made her only more vain, shallow, and self-absorbed.
So that was the last partner I was wit, almost five years ago, as of the time I'm writing this. I've slept with other women (*escorts), but I haven't dated another woman since. Kinda wished my last one was someone better, but it is what it is. I've learned that women are often more trouble than they're worth. And have learned to do better with myself.
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