Why is he so distant after we got back together?

Hello guys,

Here's the story. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. It was his first serious relationship and he panicked when we reached a year, and broke up. We talked about it a few times, and spent some time together and decided to get back together. He even told me how to behave in case his panic thing happened again so we wouldn't have to go through this again.

But here's the thing. We've been back for a week now, and he's been VERY cold with me. He's doing everything very correctly. He calls me a few times a day, texts good morning and good night, takes me out with his friends, goes out with my friends and me...
But he never calls me "baby" or "my love" like he used to (even if I do, once in a while, he always replies by calling me by my name...). He never says I love you either. He doesn't send me funny texts or romantic ones.

He does kiss me and hug me when we're together, but I feel like he does it very automatically, without really meaning it. Physical contact is always very brief, and mechanical.

I'm VERY confused. I tried to tell him he's being kinda cold and he only denied it.

I don't get it, if he doesn't want to be with me, no one forced him to. He just has to say so.

What do you think, mostly guys? I don't know what to think anymore?

Is he playing with me? Did his feelings disappear? Or is it normal?

I feel like I only got back with his shadow, not with the actual him. He used to be very affectionate and thoughtful. He used to always tell me sweet things.

Help :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he's just trying to deal with his tendency to panic, in his own way. By not being as affectionate, he's tricking himself into thinking that it's not as serious a relationship as it actually is, and that way he won't panic when you hit the two year mark, or the 18 month mark.

    • That sounds very logical, thank you! What do you suggest I should do? Let him be?

    • Yeah.

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