My boyfriend and I were playing card games and he lost a few times. He jokingly said that we should break up. It made me upset that he would joke about something like that (he repeatedly told me he was just joking) but I feel like that's something you wouldn't joke about with someone you really loved. Is my boyfriend less into me than I think he is?
Most Helpful Guy
I have dated a few women like you and broke up with all of them. I did not break up with them because I thought that my relationship with them was unimportant. I broke up with them because they have no sense of humor and they turned most of my little stupid ass jokes into huge arguments and ordeals. These women started out desirable and systematically made themselves extremely undesirable.
Look, some people find humor in absurdities and this leads them to conjuring up absurdities for the sake of humor. It's kind of like slapstick comedy. When your boyfriend joked about breaking up with you because he lost a few card games, he was not devaluing the relationship. He was doing the opposite. It was because he values the relationship that he was able to magnify the importance of the losses to a degree that seemed utterly absurd to him and it was this absurdity that seemed humorous to him. If he didn't value the relationship, then the importance of the losses wouldn't have been magnified much at all, which takes away all the humor from the joke. The joke was humorous precisely because he values the relationship.
You would do well to develop an appreciation for absurdities as sources of humor. If you do not do this, then you will inevitably create stupid arguments and drama with one man after the next and they will all dump you. People want to be able to express their sense of humor. If you turn these expressions into landmines that blow up in their face, then they will learn that their lives are better to just steer clear of the source of the landmines: you.1