Help! "Dumpee" needs help understanding behavior of the "Dumper"?

I dated a guy for almost 8 months, it seemed to be going great over all (just a few minor hiccups here and there like most couples getting to know one another) but he broke up with me a little over a week ago out of the blue. He bawled when he did it, saying he had wanted it to work out between us but he didn't see it going anywhere.. He told me he loves me and it wasn't anything I'd done, etc. (I was shocked -We spent time with other's families, he spent a lot of time with my daughter, he even went on vacation with us over the 4th of July!) He asked to hug before I left & he held onto me for a few minutes, crying. This was confusing to me (Why is he weeping?) but I didn't think about it too long, because I had my own crying to do. I rallied my friends & have been relying on them to get through this. I was really in love.

The very next day after he broke up with me, I found he unfollowed me on Instagram.

Two days later, he changed his profile picture on Facebook (it had been a picture of us together). At this point, the hurt and anger started to kick in for me that he broke up with me, so I unfriended him on Facebook and unfollowed him on Instagram. I also just couldn't take seeing his news feed updates, etc.

The next day after that, he deleted all of the pictures of him and me on his Facebook. This is really hurtful as he still has a pic of him and his ex before me on his FB!

Now, a little over a week later, I found out he actually blocked me on Facebook & I cannot for the life of me figure out why!

Our breakup was his choice, and I have not tried to contact him in any way since the breakup.

I just don't understand how in a little over one week, he's gone from "loving me" to completely blocking me out of his life, and I'm hoping someone with a similar experience or some insight can help, especially the guys. Thanks!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright well... I am guessing from the responses below you kinda have an idea why he broke up with you, so ill answer the second half, why he blocked you out... its a mixture of guilt, ego and borderline sociopath behavior. You see men, even after breaking up, want a girl to chase them, so when he "unfollowed" you on instagram, he was expecting you to come crawling on your knees and begging him back, you didn't, so he made the next bold move, then you retaliated and so on... he didn't get his way and he just acted like a even bigger dick HOPING he will get the victory tear from you... you are doing the right thing, don't give into his madness... don't contact him, he will make contact... watch the magic happen :)

    And a side note/advice- To all the 30+ people, cut the shit with instagrams and fb etc. be more mature, please grow up and end your life on the freakin' internet for the love of god! Those things are for kids! We are grown up enough to hold on to our social circle through personal interaction and a phone. We don't HAVE to post social updates of our daily activity every freakin 5 seconds. What a turn off to see that.

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    • Thanks so much for your response, MrHitch! I didn't respond or ask him why or anything because truth is, though he broke up with me, it is the right thing. I don't want him back as a boyfriend and the way I am, I don't go back. If a relationship ends, that's it for me - I move on. You really helped with your answer to give me a bit on insight as to why he would behave like that though it ended quite "amicably" for all intents and purposes. Take care!

    • Oh you're welcome darlin'... I like your attitude... keep trekkin' forward!

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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, it's Weird But Over Time He Either Lost Interest In You Or He May Of Had His Eyes On Another Girl, Either Way Just Move & Accept His Decision. It Will Be Hard But Over Time You Will Feel Better, Trust Me...

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    • I understand that and have accepted it. As I said, I have had no contact whatsoever. I just don't understand why the blocking a week after he broke things off occurred. I'm thinking he may have another girl already and just doesn't even want me to be able to see anything, but my brother and best friend are still on his friends list, so they would see anything anyway.

    • thats not love if he lost interest that fast and u love him and he just wanted in your pants until he got bored with it

  • For someone who is the 'dumper' the relationship is over in their hearts way before they actually say the words. That's why it seems "out of the blue" for you.

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    • I understand that and have accepted it. As I said, I have had no contact whatsoever. I just don't understand why the blocking a week after he broke things off occurred. I'm thinking he may have another girl already and just doesn't even want me to be able to see anything, but my brother and best friend are still on his friends list, so they would see anything anyway.

  • i was with my wife for year but she didn't say a thing to me except i was undesirerable and thats not love at lest you got a hug i haven't heard from her in 3 months a yet i haven't got no papers and her dad is a lawyer so mine lied about loving me and maybe still thinkn she did or not so i have to say they dont know what love is and both have issues more them than use

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    • I'm sorry you're going through this, and I wish you the best!!

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