I'm 14, and dating a 20 year old man who may leave me for someone else?

I'm probably going to get angry comments.
I'll try to make this as short as possible. I've been in a few relationships, serious, even. But I genuinely love this man. And he claims to genuinely love me too. We kept the relationship secret. The farthest we went were blowjobs. He never pressured this, I just assumed he'd want to stay with me if I sexually pleasured him. Sometimes in the relationship, I'd get paranoid. I often tried my hardest to be good enough for him, and I apologized over small things. If I felt like I made a mistake, I'd cut. I sound like a typical stupid teenage girl, don't I? We even talked about our future together, and how he wanted to have kids and stuff. But recently, he texted me there's an old friend of his that he's in love with. That's it. Last night, we discussed this on the phone, and he says he still loves me and that we still have a chance of being together, but he admitted he'd probably be happier with the other girl. He tried his best not to hurt me. He never tried to hurt me.
I want him to be happy. I really do. But my entire life revolved around him, being depressed before meeting him. I don't know if I can handle it. I want to keep him all to myself and for him to love me and only me.
I fear that if they get together, I'll end up making his life a living hell with constant guilt trips and such. So lately, I've been considering suicide. Once again, I sound like the stupid typical teenage girl. I don't want to get in the way of their love, but I just don't know if I can handle it. I can't even go 5 minutes without thinking of him.
But he said he doesn't want me to commit suicide and if he goes with the other girl he still wants to remain friends.
I don't know how to cope. My best friend would also commit suicide himself if I did it.
Can someone please give me advice? Thank you...
And I don't know if this is of relevance or not, but perhaps I should include this. He leaves for the military sometime in January.

Updates:
I apologize to everyone for sounding like a mopey attention whoring teenager. As much as it appears like this, I'm just really desperate for advice, and I want to find a better way to deal with issues like this instead of doing self destructive things. Thank you everyone who gave actual advice (And for those who simply wrote rude things, that's understandable), and I shall take most things into consideration.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your best friend sounds like he's in love with you.

    I'm sorry that you may lose someone you love. It won't be the last time. But it ought to tell you something. You yourself are very loveable. Maybe it feels like he's the only one on the planet for you. That's how love feels. It's magical. But the truth is, he's -not- the only one on the planet for you. You've barely met any men in your life. Masses of them could fall for you, want you, want to marry you, raise kids with you. Yes, it sucks that almost nobody meets that right person immediately. Being a teenager would be the most fun in your life if you had it all under control, but 95% don't. If I was a teenager again, I'd have an amazing time. But as a teen? It SUCKED. Because you don't know how to be a grown up, and you're trying to figure it out, and don't know what's normal and what isn't.

    You are loveable. You will be loved again. (And like I said, your male friend who says he'll commit suicide if you do? I'd bet $1000 he has stronger feelings than friendship. Maybe you don't feel that way about him, but this ought to tell you, again, you're going to have options out there).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was also "in love" with some guy that was 3 years older than me this past summer. But after the summer ended he decided to find someone his own age. Before i meant him i was very depressed in middle school but never cut or attempted suicide. But after him i didn't know what to do with my life and couldn't stop thinking about him. When i went into high school i realized there are so many people my age that can relate to me way better than him. And now i found a new person to crush on and think about all the time instead of some guy that just wanted nudes of me (which i was smart enough i never sent any) You have to think about the good things in life, like you can find someone else that is not going to randomly tell you when you are dating "i found someone new and i am in love with them now". Don't let that get to you, maybe you just were not meant to be together forever. Dating just a few people is not always going to be it, you might have to date 100 different people before you find "the one", I hope this helps you :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • no offense but d00d you're 14, you're like incapable of even knowing/feeling what love is. the cake is a lie bruh. in other words, infatuated as shit.

    and you blew him? lol.

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  • i think u should call the military and ask them for advice and be sure to tell them that you are 14 and he had you give him a blowjob
    trust me they will give you the best advice possible

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  • You should meet lot's of other people in the future so don't do the unthinkable because the fact is that your current SO is replacable butyour life is not replacable. That being said, you should also think about others and how you will ruin your mothers life and probably lifes of everyone around you who geuninely care for you
    don't be so self centered and try to be alive on this world for more than just one decade (a decade lasts for 10 years), so you can get some insight about this world... I just figured some things after I had lot's of problems and in my 30's

    wish You best of luck young lady!!!

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  • I am searching for a girlfriend 12-16 that likes guys in they're 20's I will treat you right

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  • I was interested in giving you advice until I read the part about you being a "cutter" then I relized that you were just a childish attention starved idiot. I have no time for cutters... when I meet girls or see girls online and I see cutter scars... I instantly lose interest. No matter how pretty she is.

    You need to grow the F up, get over your daddy issues, and start dating people your own age.

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  • How long has this been going on? Your relationship?

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think it would be for the best to date someone closer in your age range because you're a minor. I know it is very appealing for a guy to have a job, a car, and an apartment but your time will come! I would make the MOST of your young teenage years. It's really not all that great growing up.

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  • Don't date a 20 year old. Date a guy your age. A 20 year old is just using you and doesn't appreciate you or love you.

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  • I'd kill myself too, for the guy I thought loved me

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