She broke up with me because I was jealous and insecure, how do I get her back?

My ex broke up with me two nights ago. I couldn't see it then, but I now realize it was because of my clingyness and jealousy, all stemming from my issues of insecurity. I feel like I pushed her too far with these issues and caused her to become less attracted to me and ultimately caused her to break things off. I'm devastated, but working on improving myself to figure out how to make sure this doesn't happen again.
I really want your insight on how I can rekindle the relationship. We dated for nine months, the last six months were long distance, but these nine months were a very intense and extremely bonding time. After only two months I had met and stayed with her parents in her childhood home, and after only one month we both said I love you. She was very sad to break up with me (cried the whole time) and said that I am very special to her and she loves me. She said she still wants to be friends, but doesn't know how to not be in a relationship with me. She said she would want to contact me every once in a while, but I said I'll need time, so we decided that I would be the one who contacts her when I'm ready.
I know because our bond was so strong that she still has feelings for me, at least for now. Do I wait to tell her what I've learned, or contact her sometime in the future? My emotions are still very raw so I will definitely wait some time, but maybe this relationship is just over? please help

  • Wait for her to contact me
    Vote A
  • Contact her in a few weeks
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should contact because you're the one with the problem that made the relationship end. Tell her you're working on your jealousy and that you wanna try it again, say that what you had is really special for you and you don't wanna lose it over something like that.

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    • Thank you so much TheEmma. You really think she'll be understanding? I'm just worried that if I say I want to try again that she is in a place where I am just not that attractive to her anymore. But perhaps in acknowledging my faults and actually pursuing her she will see that as a confident move? I'm all mixed up... my head tells me one thing but my heart says another.

    • Show All
    • How soon do you think? We ended it Monday night...

    • You know her better than me so you have to take that decition but if I were you, I'd call today.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Talk to her and continue to be there when she needs you. However, your main focus should be getting help for the issues you've had and making yourself a better person for you. Once, you've received help and know that you no longer have the same issues then you can talk about where to go from there. If you act like nothing happened and go back to how things were then you risk getting the same results. So, if you still have doubts then you should continue to get help and take things slowly with her while letting her know what steps you are taking to take care of the issues you're dealing with.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Contact her now. The fuck are you doing waiting two weeks for?
    If that was the problem and she loves you as you say, why not get back together right away?

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  • The worst thing you could do right now is get back at her. It will just prove her point as of why she didn't want to be with you in the first place. You will just be wasting your time and for what?

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  • Ah dude! you screwed that up. Do not expect her to contact you when you are at fault. Accept your mistake. If you're lucky, she'll forgive you.

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  • No I chose the wrong one. You contact her. But not in a few weeks. Now

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What Guys Said 8

  • It's ldr man Im not sure it's a good idea. If you're going to be living closer and STAYING that way within a year maybe try it again, but ldrs don't go well, this is a great example why. How are you not supposed to be a bit insecure when you're xxxx miles away and have no idea what she's doing.

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  • If she wants to walk away on something as little as that is she really worth the trouble and how will she be in the future

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    • Well, I guess I didn't say that we had issues with my jealousy and her having lots of guy friends in the past, but after revisiting these issues a few times I think she just got fed up with trying to satisfy my insecurities. Needless to say she isn't attracted to me as a boyfriend anymore, but still thinks I'm a fantastic person...

    • I have gone through the same thing you did, I fought so hard to keep her and spent so much money on her and taking her all over the world in the end I got her as my girl and she moved in with me but I had to break my ass to keeping it going and fight for her she came around but at a pretty price never again will I break my back for any woman and I dont want to see you do it either. She was always so confused and kept changing her mind about everything. I pushed so hard for her and I finally got what I wanted.

  • That was not right of her she should't dump you just cause of that.

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  • She broke up with you. Why would you WANT her back? You can't have her anyway so move on. She said no. Accept it.

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  • i went threw the same with my girl.. dont waste time... u_u someone else might get her

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  • what caused you to insecure?

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  • Neither. Forget her.
    Find somebody else.

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  • What are you a woman?

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