IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME EFFING JELOUS THROUGH SNAPCHAT?

[Anonymous]

Dating for a month and had really good dates and chemistry. At the beginning we agreed on fun because I travel a lot for my job. In the end I told him I had feelings and he went cold a bit, he was still lovely but said a relationship wouldn't work because we would hardly see each other which I understood. We then haven't seen each other in a month because I'm giving it some space to hopefully stop my feelings for him.

We text often and so on. I said to him we're obviously just friends now and I agreed but he still wants to see me, tells me he misses me and so on...

I told him he's free to see other people and so on because we aren't serious or anything and I think he was a bit offended that I came off i didn't care but he asked me if i was seeing anyone and I said no because thats the truth... by the way we never had sex just hooked up because i'm a virgin and he respects me not to take it yet

Anyway, me being the idiot I am wanted to see how "much" he really misses me. While I was out with friends I uploaded pics of my good looking guy friends... not with any romantic captions just funny captions of them.. and also I got flowers from a guy and uploaded them to snap saying "so cute <3"

Now after this he's been posting snaps of him walking with this girls voice recording him, and the food he ate with a female body half in the picture... then today he posts a video of him in the car with the caption "we're off to a good start" then deleted the snap once i watched it

like wtf? please elaborate

Updates

+1 y

ALSO!!! I uploaded a selfie on snapchat and he messages me saying "i look beautiful" lol i bet that was right after he fucked that chick

[serious]

Ok, your question title begins with " Is he trying to make me jealous", however in the last two paragraphs you yourself accepted that you uploaded good looking pics of your guy friends, even though they were not romantic ones but you said you did that and then you also commented on flowers given by a guy as " SO CUTE"

Plus you also said very clearly that you were trying to see how much he misses you, right?

What does this sentence indicate? what does your actions indicate? It indicates that you were trying to test him by trying to make him jealous to see his reaction and to guage his interest levels in you. Honestly speaking you were trying to play the mind game on him and it's clear from your actions ( if you read it carefully).

Now in these situations once a guy suspects that you were trying to make him jealous in any way possible, then a guy does two things. One is he will try to give you the taste of your own medicine by trying to make you jealous in return, like he is getting back even with you.

Second is the guy will completely give up on you and won't waste his time with a woman like you. In your case this guy has opted for the first option that is he is trying to give you the taste of your own medicine.

Yes, that's right he is trying to make you jealous and that is not justified but then you also tried to make him jealous and it's possible that your action is what led to him trying the " TIT FOR TAT" tactics on you.

From your post it seems like you started it first by trying to making him jealous and now he is doing the same thing to you.

Both of you whatever you are doing is wrong. Why test each other in such an immature manner by playing mind games? . It's very unhealthy.

If you both are not interested, then just move on ( completely).

[Asker]

I agree I have been an idiot but it's out of anger because of him not wanting anything serious and I feel used a bit. Also with the snaps I uploaded, they were in a complete friendly manner, yes the intention was their to make him jelous but I have a lot of guy friends and they were just friendly snaps and told him I'm not seeing anyone so he should trust me. Also I really don't know if he's the jelous type but why would he upload shit like that when he told me 2 nights before he reassured me he wasn't seeing anyone?

[serious]

"I agree I have been an idiot but it's out of anger because of him not wanting anything serious and I feel used a bit."

Ok, now once again I have two points to make regarding this sentence of yours. First of all no matter what your reasons were I would still say that trying to make someone jealous, trying to make a guy jealous is an immature act and that's a manipulative act. I understand you had your reason for doing so but still it is morally not right to try to test a guy in this manner. Hence trying to make a guy jealous is never justified. I mean a man trying to make a woman jealous and a woman trying to make a man jealous both are equally wrong.

cont...

[serious]

Secondly you said and you seem to be sure that he doesn't want anything serious in that case why would you try to make a guy jealous on purpose, who doesn't want anything serious with you? I mean why play this mind game on such a type of guy? . I mean you already know that he doesn't want anything serious so your natural action should be forget about him and try to find a guy who would want something serious with you.

I am unable to understand the logic behind trying to make such a guy jealous who doesn't want anything serious with you?

it's also possible that your assumption that he doesn't want anything serious be wrong? I mean some guys are very nervous by nature,. they are very shy or they can be very reserved as well. It's also possible that some guys like to take things very slowly just so they are sure that's things don't go wrong later on.

However given your post I don't think he is a shy type of guy because a shy guy won't have so much of courage to make a woman jealous.

[serious]

"Also with the snaps I uploaded, they were in a complete friendly manner, yes the intention was their to make him jelous but I have a lot of guy friends and they were just friendly snaps and told him I'm not seeing anyone so he should trust me."

I would like to make a point on this sentence of yours. The point is trying to make a jealous and the effort you take in doing that also depends on the type of guy he is, means if he is a very secure person, a confident person then you will have to take more effort, waste more time and energy to make him jealous.

However if he is already of the jealous type, if he is a shy type of guy or if he is a guy who already lacks a bit of confidence and is insecure, jealous type then it will be very easy for you to make such a guy jealous.

cont...

[serious]

cont..

Hence I would say it doesn't take much to make a guy jealous, and jealousy is a basic human emotion and jealousy exists because of insecurities and everyone has insecurities and so if you target the right area to make a person jealous, or a guy jealous then they will easily get jealous.

Coming back to your situation you said you only posted friendly snaps, they were in friendly manner. However even that itself is enough to make a guy jealous, you don't have to post only romantic pictures or pictures of dating with the other guy to make your guy ( friend or whatever he means to you) jealous.

You don't have to necessarily flirt, show interest in the other guy to make your guy in question jealous. Even without flirting or showing interest in other guy you can still make your guy jealous. It's not that difficult. Moreover you never know what exactly can make a guy jealous, I mean it can be anything, even a small thing is enough to make someone jealous. Right?

cont...

[serious]

cont..

In your case even friendly pics, friendly snaps with other guys were enough to make this guy jealous.

Understanding the concept of jealousy and human psychology related to that itself is interesting so it's hard to exactly predict what can make a person jealous.

[serious]

" yes the intention was their to make him jelous but I have a lot of guy friends and they were just friendly snaps and told him I'm not seeing anyone so he should trust me."

Now once again from this sentence you said that you are not seeing anyone and you expect him to trust you, now here you are forgetting a very important fact and that is "JEALOUSY" and " TRUST" are opposites. By that sentence I mean you are trying to make him jealous by posting pictures, even if they are friendly in nature you still accept that the intention was to make him jealous and so you can't really expect him to trust you.

I mean you can't expect a person to trust you if you trying to make them jealous, you can't expect a guy to trust you if you are tying to play mind games with him by testing his reaction and interest levels towards you in immature and unhealthy ways. Hope you are understanding what I am saying.

cont...

[serious]

cont...

Hence if you want someone to trust you, if you want a guy to trust you then you will have to show the guy that you are a mature person and that your actions are trustworthy. Hence in your case you are just expecting him to trust you and your words but your action, that is after you tried to make him jealous and honestly you started it first so you can't expect this guy to trust your words because your actions don't match up to your words.

Simply put I would say once you try to test a guy by making him jealous on purpose you cannot expect that guy to trust you anymore.

cont...

[serious]

Hence the moment you try to make a guy jealous that moment, that instant you lost his trust that he has for you. That moment itself you would be breaking his trust. Now how much of a trust is broken ( in terms of percentage) that's hard to say. It's possible that you will lose 50% of his trust for you so that means he has only 50% trust on you now, that is if you are lucky enough to still have his trust at least. The point is you will lose a good percentage of his trust instantly but as far as I know there is every possibility that the guy's trust can instantly come down to 0% the moment a woman tries to make him jealous on purpose and he will immediately give up on that woman which is what most guys would do.

I mean it's possible for a guy's trust to come down to 0% outright but not necessary it will happen, but you can be assured you will lose a good amount of his trust.

Are you getting my point?

[serious]

"Also I really don't know if he's the jelous type but why would he upload shit like that when he told me 2 nights before he reassured me he wasn't seeing anyone?"

Yes, it's possible that he was already of a jealous type of guy. Yes I do agree that whatever he did was also wrong, and it's not justified at all. Hence as I said both of you were playing the mind game of jealousy on each other.

A man trying to make a woman jealous on purpose and a woman trying to make a man jealous on purpose are both equally wrong and there is no justification to that no matter what the reason may be.

[serious]

"I told him he's free to see other people and so on because we aren't serious or anything and I think he was a bit offended "

From this sentence of yours I have one question that comes to my mind. You told him that he is free to see other people, so that means you are actually giving him the freedom, you are giving him an open invitation to move on, so I don't understand after you telling him this why would you try to play mind games with him? why would try to make him jealous on purpose to test him reaction? what is your logic and reasoning behind this? I am unable to understand.

I mean honestly speaking your actions are somewhat confusing.

[serious]

Anyways lastly I would say that you need to learn from this experience, you need to learn from your mistakes. I understand that you are still young and it's fine but you need to learn from your mistakes and not repeat them in future.

Hence in future if you ever come to know that a guy is not showing interest in you, or he is not taking things forward, or if he doesn't want a serious relationship like you do then have a meeting, a discussion with him and break up with him completely and then start dating other guys, so what I am saying is move on completely.

If at all it happens that the same guy comes back to you while you are still dating other guys and he says he wants to take things forward and wants a serious relationship with you then you can decide what to do, that is if you want you can stop dating other guys and get back with the same guy that you broke up with.

If you do this then it shows you are a mature person. This would be my suggestion to you

[serious]

Summary is yes I do understand your anger is justified and you had your reasons to try to make him jealous but still just because you had your reasons to make him jealous doesn't mean that it is an automatic justification for your actions.

Having a reason for your actions is not a justification to continue your actions. Hence in future I would suggest think before you act, think 10 times before you do anything, don't be impulsive in your actions.

That's all from me. If you didn't understand anything then please ask me

[Nondecouvert]

Either that or dating him is genuinely a miserable experience because he’s so self-centered, careless, and tactless that he truly believes things like that are perfectly acceptable.

However, if you want a man, then don’t pretend you’re okay with him pursuing other women. It doesn’t make you look “cool” or “easy going”: it makes you look like a fool who’s willing to risk losing a guy you’re interested in to someone else. Set a certain standard for the way you want your connection to develop so that you can avoid messy situations like this.

[luvitall]

Why do you care didn't you state you accepted just a friendship and you uploaded photos of your guy friends and flowers so you went out of your way to start this fiasco.. you reep what you sow... he's not trying to make you jealous he is just doing him, moving on... and so should u

[Asker]

You're right, i'm literally being an idiot. The thing is this is my first relationship, i'm new to this all. I only stated we were friends but really i want more, i have feelings for him.

[Asker]

Also why is he still messaging me telling me i look beautiful, I asked him a few days if he's seeing anyone and he's like no.

[Relentless_Hippie]

Lmao dude you're the one playing games and you're mad at him for moving on? Hahahahah xD

[Asker]

I told him I liked him and would make it work if he wanted it. I asked him multiple times if he still wanted to see me and to just the bullshit and be honest and he says "he still wants to see my beatiful face" gag

[Relentless_Hippie]

You also said you're actively giving yourself space from him so that you'll lose feelings, you keep telling him that you're obviously just friends, you encouraged him to see other people, you tried to "test" him in a desperate attempt to make him jealous by making it appear you were seeing other men and you're accepting gifts (i. e. flowers) from men as well.

Everything that is going on is the result of your actions and your choice not to be genuine in your feelings. Instead you were too busy trying not to "catch feelings" and have this "I don't care" attitude that this guy decided he'd be better off perusing someone who actually makes him feel wanted. This was a bed you made for yourself.

Instead of being focused on appearing one way to him, you should've actively pursued the guy and let him know you care for him. If it's not that serious then you have no right to be mad. Even now you have no right to be mad because this is your own fault.

[Asker]

I do actively tell him i admire him and care for him in every conversation we have. It's not my snaps directly said "hey I'm seeing this dude"

[Asker]

Do you think he's trying to make me jelous? He's a private person and wouldn't just hint he's seeing someone else to all his friends and fam

[Relentless_Hippie]

You knew what you were doing when you posted those things, and now that they've blown up in your face you don't like it. If you want someone to be genuine with you, you must first be genuine with them.

If it's that serious to you tell if you're jealous, tell him you like him, tell him you were trying to make him jealous and you aren't seeing anyone, and tell him you want to be in a monogamous relationship with him.

If he doesn't want those things, just take it up as a lesson learned and move on. But if it is at that point make sure you establish there shall be no more flirting and romance between either of you if you're going to actually be friends.

[Belgie]

Of course he is- you started it though.

[Mr_Dre]

Yes he is trying to make you jealous. These are the type of games that annoy me personally! But I think you need to cut your losses here. The fact is you started off the relationship as "fun" at the start, that has complicated things.

Nowe I'm not sure if he likes you, but the fact that you said he can see other people makes him feel like you don't care. So that has hurt his ego and he has to make you hurt too. My advice to you is to let this go as he doesn't want a relationship and you are only going to end up hurt.

Cut off all conversation with him and delete him off snap and move on!

[ChocolateDiosa]

Woooow but yes he's definitely trying to make you jealous.

[Anonymous]

it sounds like he's trying to make you jealous.