I have been dating my boyfriend for 10 months. My apartment lease is ending soon and my room mates have decided to move elsewhere, so I'm having to find a new place to live. I live in a very expensive city so It has been a challenge finding a 1 bedroom. I had a few options, including a room mate, but the best deal was actually an apartment in my boyfriend's apartment complex.
I told him about my options and when I told him about his complex he got really quiet. He said he didn't think it was a good idea. He said "at this point in our relationship, I think our perception of the distance needed is different". It was really hurtful to me because he isn't taking into account why I'm moving there. He also said "I think if you move over here we'll practically be living together". I understand that we'll be really close, but we both have responsibilities (work, grad school, hobbies) that will keep us apart.
My boyfriend doesn't have a car, so I always have to drive to him. Living closer, would just be nice and obviously the same complex is really convenient. I also want to save as much as possible. I am not moving there to just be with him, I have a lot on my plate.
How should I talk to him about this? He shuts down and I just don't know how to explain my decision and how to explain how hurt I am. This just put up HUGE red flags for me and I've been really down since we spoke about it. I don't want to break up, but I must admit that I'm thinking about it.
Most Helpful Girl
I can't fathom why a boy, who has a girlfriend he's been dating for nearly a year and drives him around, wouldn't want her around. You'd think that nearly living together would be a positive. The only way I could see him not liking it is because he knows/doesn't want the relationship to last and see you around after the fact.
While you're mulling over your choices (which to me, seems to say, take some space) don't drive him anywhere. If he comes running back to you because of that, you know he's just using you because it's easier than breaking up.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE