my boyfriend broke up with his ex who she has a daughter. my boyfriend got really attached to the little girl. and when ever he cans he wants to babysit her. 2me this just sends wrong signals to his ex. there's no reason for him to babysit a baby who is not his. there's dads out there who don't care about their children and he wants to take care of a baby its not his? I try for it not to bother me so much since its only a little girl. but his w me now and by him doing that shows he hasn't moved on. plus his ex its not over him she's dating someone else and still calls my boyfriend for w.e help she needs like money, and helping her move to her new place and he was going 2help her but didn't cause I told him how the idea bothered me so much. conclusion what should I do about this situation with him wanting to babysit his ex daughter.
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You do not say how old this child was when they got together and how long they were together. Overall, I would say that he should not be doing this unless he was clearly taking the full role of dad to this little girl since she was very, very young. If her dad has completely stepped out of the picture and he sees himself as her dad (and the mom does too), that is a tough one. However, it doesn't really sound like that. It's not like you mention him having regular custody of her, he's just helping out with babysitting.
I think it is very kind and thoughtful of him to offer this but I would also feel strange and uncomfortable if my boyfriend was doing something like this, not just babysitting, but also helping her with money and other matters. It would clearly feel like he still had ties to his ex. If I thought how it would feel if a guy revealed to me on our first date that he still liked to babysit his ex's child and help his ex out, well I would not go on a second date. I would prefer he take the time he needed to really sever ties with his ex before I would date him again.
Since you are already in a relationship with him, if all else is good with him, then just be honest with him about your feelings while not being pushy or naggy. The reality is, he is not the father and over time when his ex finds a new boyfriend, well I doubt her new boyfriend will be cool with this arrangement and things will naturally fall into place.0