Ex broke up but he's mad?

[Anonymous]

It seems that way. He's been cold and irritable.. going out of his way to hurt me and make me jealous and say stupid things to hurt me more... We are/were LDR. I haven't seen anyone else since him. He contacts me mostly indirectly now and then, sometimes directly. I haven't responded. Why is he resenting me so much? I'm the one hurt, and didn't want to break up. I even tried to ask him to work things out and he got more angry. He's been also a terrible friend. I tried it his way but he just does crazy things that are so hurtful. Now my friends and family not only think he's a jerk but a loony. And I know it's only because of the breakup. What could be going on with him?

Updates

+1 y

Does he resent me and blame me for the breakup? That we couldn't work the LDR out (or he decided against it, rather)... When he was the one to pull the plug?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he is taking out whatever his problem is on you. It is not your fault the way things turned out. If he is being irritable and cold, there are reasons, and if he is not communicating to you, it would be impossible to know what is going on. Closing doors without giving a chance to save the relationship only serves to say, he wanted out and was going to any lengths to make sure that it went that way. If he loved you, and there were issues, he would have wanted to work on it, but he didn't and doesnt.

He wants to blame someone other than himself, so he passed the buck, so to speak, as he is not man enough to own up.

You do deserve better than this kind of treatment. I know its hard especially when there are feelings involved. There is no overnight miracle cure, only time, love and care of family and friends, keeping yourself busy and enjoying new things in life.

[Asker]

Well said, thank you. I do think something is up, and he's unhappy. so he's diverting blame on me. but I didn't want it to end. and he gives me no opportunity to say my side. so I've given up.. yet he still is around somehow to make a small appearance.. and I'm sad to say he's not much of a friend (what he wanted) as well. he doesn't seem to own up to much. and for some reason I still love him, go figure. thanks.

[Laurence]

He sounds as though he has been overcoming by emotions, and is now working without rational thought. It is not unusual. I would suggest when he broke up with you, he did so as a punishment and it was at this time he felt he controlled the situation. Now that you have broken up, he is likely missing you and he hates that now he no longer controls the situation, he is being equally if not more hurt by a punishment he intended for you. He will eventually cool down, but it will take time. He is not mentally unwell, just overly emotional, and I think he is converting his feelings of sadness into hate. I would not suggest you get back together. Just leave him to deal with his problems but understand what is driving his behaviour.

[Anonymous]

He could be a creeper, weird etc, if he breaks up with you and then contacts you its not normal maybe he is seeing someone else...

[Asker]

He is still contacting me. today I got a bunch of things about stuff we worked on or future work. he's using any tactic to suddenly contact me. and I don't know what to do about it. I haven't responded. my/our work was important to me but not sure it's even worth it now.