I can't get my ex off my mind - I love her and want her back please help me?

i love her more then anything else we have been broken up for a little over a month we are still great friends and I see her each day but the more I'm with her the more I regret losing her I would do anything to have her back to be able to hold her and kiss her again I just don't know how so please help I truly do love her I know its vague but any advice would help, she says the only thing keeping us apart is her love for her girlfriend shelbe and that she wishes her girlfriend was more like me


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hm...

    Chemistry dies out like a fire if you don’t stoke it once in awhile.

    Humans have needs – both emotional and physical. They need to be caressed, held, hugged, kissed, listened to, flirted with, and desired.

    Your relationship routine might have made your ex feel starved for whatever it was they didn’t get anymore – that very stuff that made your stomachs and hearts flutter when you first started dating. If he or she was starving, then chances are you weren’t getting everything out of the pairing that you wanted as well.

    What were you lacking in the relationship? What was missing?

    Most relationships don’t crumble because of one single issue. When one thing comes in between two people, they usually recognize it and work things out amicably – unless it’s a deal breaker like, “she wants kids and I don’t.”

    You might even see the breakup as a result from one of the above issues while your ex would pinpoint something totally different. Maybe you thought it was the fact that you spent no time together, but he thought it was the nagging you did.

    If you want to get your ex back, don’t do these things::

    - Texting your ex will push her away – fast;

    - Calling your ex multiple times a day shows neediness;

    - Telling her to get back with you telegraphs insecurity;

    - Writing letters to try to make her understand how you feel is


    -Phoning her parents and try to convince them to talk

    sense into her is a sure way to get ignored;

    -Calling the new guy in her life and telling him to leave her

    alone will instantly turn her against you

    How to get her back?

    Maybe this few tips will help you:

    - Never look desperate – work on your self, you need to shine if you want to attract her back

    - Start seeing other girls. That will wake uh her curiosity and insecurity (is possible that he has already move on!?)

    - Go out together, do stuff together, but don’t ask her to get back, just have great time together, let she see how good it was in relationship

    Hope this help. For some more advanced tips, check out link , it may be useful...

    All the best and good luck!

    • I really disagree with just seeing other people. Showing her that you can move on easily makes it seems like she wasn't important to you. Also.. writing letters can certainly help. Typing up a long e-mail or text that really describes how you feel can have a very strong impact - you can convey the entire message, all the love that is bottled up in your heart, without having to get nervous trying to tell her things face to face, or having her interrupt or criticize you before you can finish.

    • Show All
    • Thank you for the help I really do appreciate it all

    • No problem, good luck ;)

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Tell her how you feel, and that you want to be more then friends. She'll most likely understand and then just take things from there.

    I hope everything works out for you guys


What Guys Said 3

  • Hey buddy, I'm sorry to hear that, it really sucks.

    I've been broken up with my girlfriend for little over a month too and I completely understand your feelings and I feel everything that you have written (I mean, I want to marry my ex, I feel she is so perfect for me).

    The only difference however, is that I, for my own sanity and recovery have cut myself off from my ex to allow me to heal.

    I haven't spoken to her, and have removed her from Facebook etc.

    It is the hardest thing in the world to make yourself do I know, but it is the only thing that has allowed me to get on with my life without thinking that it can never be complete without her.

    I have occasionally checked out her Twitter, and then immediately regretted it because it takes me back a few steps and I feel awful. I spoke to her on the phone the other day, and all that has done is make me think about her all day again and how much I want her back, just when I was doing so well!

    But THIS IS IMPORTANT, if you are going to stop contact with her, don't just do it suddenly because it'll get awkward and you'll look a bit immature. Just explain to her how you feel, and that you need time to recover and build your life up again, and that being around is painful at the moment. Let her know that it's not any reflection on her, it's just something that you need to do for yourself. If she is a good person, she will understand and respect your wishes.

    It is particularly hard that your ex is with someone else, but you should see that as a way to move on yourself. If you truly love your ex, and she is really happy with this other girl then you should be happy for her and not try to stop that for your own wants. You're probably thinking 'yeah it's easy to say that', but the thing is I know it's hard, I think my ex is with someone else now and that thought is very painful for me, but it gives me peace to think that she is happy and that I should be too.

    I have to admit, it is not fair of her to be saying things like 'she wishes her girlfriend was more like you'. If she knows that you care about her so, then she wouldn't be saying things like that, and it could be that if she is being that thoughtless, then the split is for the best (something you'll struggle to see at this point in time, but will in time).

    Have a read through some other answers to 'how to get over my ex' questions on here and take some of the advice on board. The key thing is to find yourself again, and reset your mind from thinking that you require your ex to be happy. Find things you enjoy doing, meet new and old friends, learn a new skill or hobby, learn how to be a good person. Building yourself and your happiness up so that you are happy and independent is the best thing for you, and is also a very attractive thing to girls.

    I wish you the best in this bud, I genuinely know how hard it is, just be strong and good things will happen.

    • O know where you coming from and I'm doing all that now but I want her back

  • I understand where you're coming from. Try writing all your anger out, that will definitely help. I know these situations and your girl will be contacting you in a couple of months. I think she'll realized that she made a mistake letting you go..

    My buddy used this and it helped him out==> link

  • Listen to a guy. ME! I had the same thing happen, then later she ended up wanting me back, but I didn't want her anymore. I need more info, Why did the relationship end? Depending how it ended you may still have a chance. Stop seeing her everyday. How can she ever miss you when she is seeing you everyday. Don't be on her ass 24/7. Go out, do other things that make her realize that you have other options, live your life. Man, you sound like me when I was all up on my ex. I hope you do get her back, but who knows maybe even you won't want her anymore.


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