Got the ex, I think, a present before splitting up.. Should I still gift it?

[Anonymous]

I mean.. I'm assuming we've broken up because he refuses to speak to me and has for almost 2 weeks now. Even when I asked if this was a break up he ignored it. He's stubborn and proud... Anyway... A few days before what would have been our anniversary we got into a bad fight and he decided to end it. We haven't spoken since. He's the one who isn't talking and I stopped contacting him after a week.

We are long distance due to work right now. But I got him a present for our anniversary and now I don't know whether to send it to him or not.

It's not something overly sentimental - references to internal jokes mostly. Under normal circumstances they'd make him smile or laugh.

I've accepted that it's over. And he doesn't want to speak to me right now. But the gift was bought for him and can't be returned. So what do I do?

So, like I said, it's been almost 2 weeks, and it takes about that for it to arrive where he is right now.

[rmgnow]

I don't agree that you've accepted that it's already over. You are still trying to hold on. I bet the devil is in the details as to why he stopped talking to you. Just leave him alone and move on.

[Asker]

What does it mean the devil is in the detail? Well, this is what he does when he gets mad. He stops talking to people. He can be a bit of a jerk.. But you know, he was my jerk. Plus, He's never done it this long or this severely before. No I have accepted it, but I still have hope! It is still pretty fresh too.

[rmgnow]

I said you haven't accepted it. And you say no, then you PROVED that you haven't accepted it in your next sentence. Just be honest with yourself. The devil in the details is what you did to make him stop talking to you.

[Asker]

We had an argument... That's it. He reacts like this to arguments. It's not about what I did or didn't do. It's a Standard reaction when he gets mad. Why is this time different? Because I said id give it one more chance at reaching him before assuming it's over. He ignored the message hence over. It had already been a week.

And no, I do accept it. I don't fantasise about getting back together. I don't assume we will. I'm not trying to get him back. You can still be hurt and have hope even though you accept its over.

If he was to come back it would be with the caveat that he seeks help for his anger issues.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sending the gift is a way of reaching out, offering an olive branch, and saying that you hope he will return to you. Is that the message you want to send?

[Asker]

Hmm.. I do want us back together, but I don't want it to be seen as desperate or pleading. I won't beg! We were best friends before being together..