Any tips to stop thinking about my ex?

[LonewolfMeme]

I've tried everything I could think of with no luck and it's getting to the point of feeling sick. Every time I start to get distracted and think I'm over him I end up thinking about him. The days seem to be so long now and I can't bring myself to eat like I need to (I'm eatting but late at night and in little portions).

Also rebounding for some reason has me feeling like something bad will happen. It doesn't feel wrong but it leaves that impending sense of something going to backfire.

[_food_lover234]

I know exactly what your going through, because i've just gone through that.

My ex devastated me.

I caught feelings for him and we had SO MUCH in common. we both like the same sports and i could really relate to him on a personal level. we had so many 3 am calls, and we would jsut talk and talk.

I fell so hard for this person and what left me devastated was, he was a player- a smooth talker. he said things that I wanted to hear and half the things he said, he only said to get in my pants. the majority wasn't even true. He was also 19( Im under 18, so It felt cool that someone older had interest in me)
but my ex is besides the point, i felt sad. I didn't see why I bothered waking up. sleeping was the only time were i could have peace, and forget about him until i woke up.

Constantly I was thinking about him. I could be at a dinner table with my family, trying to enjoy the company- and then my mind would just immediatly start to think about him. Every single time I thought about him I was sad.

I only once had a dream with him ( it was horrible) were I ended up waking up crying.

For me, Im the opposite of you, I started eating more- for me, Im under 18, so It didn't affect my weight to much, because I could work it off easier. (also Im a very active person, but during this time I had an injury, so I couldn't. If you can work out- it will release endorphins and will make u happier)

countless times, my dad would walk in, seeing me crying and we would talk about it.

Now Im sure what you really want to know is how to solve the problem:

short answer- time.
long answer: each time I was sad, I talked to my dad and it always made me feel better.
it never stopped the pain but I felt like after talking and getting his advice, A part of me got some sense back into me.

second thing- time. honestly, I know you've heard the cliche" time heals everything" and its true. Im not fully healed, but Im doing so much better.
give yourself some alone time to really feel out your emotions. don't try to reject or ignore them, then spend time with others. realize that when you spend time with other's -and thoughts of him come up- tell them it isn't the time to think of him and you'll think about it later- because my regret, was spending time with family who live far away, but not valuing the time because I would constantly think of him. don't do that, you will regret it.

three- know there is a time and place for emotions. feel your emotions, don't reject them. cry, cry it all outI ( thats what I had to do, crying can be a way for your body to release stress) make sure you cry it all out.. ALL OF IT.
make sure you feel every single emotion, even the painful ones. then after that, make sure after crying it all out, you never cry for the same reason again.
feel your emotions but also know, " ok, Im feeling sad or Im feeling bad, but its time to move forward, I have things to do." I know it sucks, but it forces you to move on and know that you have things to get done.
these main things were the most helpful to me. always surround yourself with those who love you, AND DO NOT get interested in anyone else for some time. learn to love yourself, and it will take some time, Im still doing that as i write this. (also I made the mistake of reading sad quotes, and sad songs, don't do that, it will only make it worse)
I wish you luck and if you need anymore advice, feel free to message me. YOU GOT THIS GIRL!!!
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!

[LonewolfMeme]

Thanks and yea. I stopped myself from listening to music... my relationship was different in a sense tho as my ex wasn't a player, he wasn't a smooth talker by any means. He couldn't understand emotions due to past traumas so I never expected him to understand though I tried to help him understand. My exes before him were controlling so I was still healing from them but as I healed I couldn't stand certain things like pranks which cause me to black out and go cold.

[_food_lover234]

I'm so sorry
I think I kind of know what you mean because this is going to sound weird, I know.

But me and my ex- he was my first real love and we both are lifeguards and very into aquatic activities.
so even the smell of chlorine-almost always would trigger these past memories of him, so for a while, I just couldn't deal with the smell of chlorine.
So I think I understand the prank situation.
But I want you to take time for yourself- at least 6 months ( By the way this is all your decision, just giving my opinion)
put yourself first- do what's best for you. try to keep yourswelf busy.
if you don't have many people to hang around with ( A lot of my friends are long-distance because of the school I do) head to the mall or public places. I found just being around some kind of social aspect helped me a little ( By the way I'm a total extrovert)
also sports- they really help you change your focus onto that one sport and take e your mind off that person.
I think it hurts so bad is because you were never able to express your emotions in the past relationships- so free them now.
this is going to sound bad- but sometimes, make friends with someone just so you can vent to them. I've done this once and lucky, the girl was ok with it because she would vent back to me, kinda like venting partners. make sure you know this person somewhat because you don't want to give your life story to someone you don't really know.

[LonewolfMeme]

True and I've over my past relationships just that I've never been the open type of person when it comes to thinking. None of my exes knew what I was thinking or feeling so I feel bad that it was hard for them. I fully trusted my ex but when anxiety was bad I couldn't talk to him about it bc of a different anxiety. It doesn't hurt but now I just want an explanation.

[_food_lover234]

ah, I see.
I understand your anxiety sometimes made it hard for you to talk to your ex. that's something that not easy, and I totally get it. But the good things is, you can learn and move forward.
I can understand why you want an explanation because your curious you want some closure- I'm guessing.
and here's the sad truth, sometimes your not going to get closure. sorry to keep harping on my ex, I never got closure as to why he played me.. never.. I was left to feel like I did something wrong.

I came to realize sometimes, you won't get closure and its gonna suck, but you just gotta realize what happened and move forward. besides.. sometimes it's better not to have an explanation, even thought ti would be nice.
and to help give you some peace- know that when you look back, this guy will be just a quick thought that happened. lifes to short for him and you've got so much looking forward for you.

[Ciarle]

I've been there.

What I did was:
- I had a list on my phone called DO NOT FORGET, with reasons of why he is an EX. Whenever I felt sad, I re-read that list and reminded myself that he is an EX for a reason, and if it wasn't meant to be / he didn't want it to happen, it was better that way. It said something like "it's called break up because it's broken", "he never considered you, he is not the one, he never was", "somebody else (Better) is out there. if people were abandoned on their wedding day, and found a better person, i ain't gonna be an exception", "he gets angry" "he has cheated",
- I created rules for myself: I deleted his phone number, forbid myself from re-reading conversations. Got rid of some clothes I had of him. I did not allow myself to check his social media.
- Get busy. Meet your friends often. Organise fun trips. I went to an amusement park, went shopping often with my friends.
- I decided I'd say yes to everything. Invited to a party I was not really feeling like going? I'd go. Somehow I ended up with four guys flirting with me and asking me out. They were not the love of my life but they did help me move on.

Only when I was able to set the distance I needed, I was able to start forgetting.
Also, it took me months. But it will come. Everybody has been through this, we all survive. I used to think I was the only one who wouldn't survive, oh man, how wrong I was! I'm with the best person now, but I do remember I used to think I could not live without my ex.

[LonewolfMeme]

Yea. I don't think that but certain things were left unsaid so that's the problem. I've never been able to move on unless everything was clear

[rjroy3]

Don't fight the thoughts. Let them play out, without interacting with them.

It might sound on, but your thoughts are not you. Your mind is a machine that is firing thoughts, which you view and make decisions with. But the thoughts themselves are not you. So when your mind fires off thoughts about your ex, just let them come, let them be, then let them move on past you.

The obsessive thoughts only happen because you're fighting them. It's like getting into a fight with a ball, throwing it at the wall in anger, then responding to the ball bouncing back at you as if the ball "attacked" you. The ball isn't coming for you. Your mind isn't coming for you. It's just doing what it does, but you're choosing to interact with it.

Just let it do what it's going to do. It doesn't need you for that.

[LonewolfMeme]

Yea but honestly. I've noticed that my body is reacting negatively to forgetting him as I've been feeling sick, not eatting, not taking needed meds or even feeling strong senses of something going to backfire when flirting with any guy or any.

[rjroy3]

That's just self inflicted from repressing the emotions. It's the same thing. Just different symptoms

[coachTanthony]

------------I used to tell clients who were going through this to wake up in the morning or whenever it is you feel really sad and just go all out. Grab a pillow and scream into it... cry hysterically.... mourn the break up.

Do this for no more than 30 minutes and I mean go all out... get it out! Then promise yourself for the rest of the day it will be about you and positive things in your life.

You see it's okay to mourn a break up... it's not okay to give that break up all your time and energy.

[LonewolfMeme]

It hasn't. I've stopped crying but it's just the happy mushy thoughts that are left.

[1stranger]

Why was he ex?
Think of why he calls it ex now.

If the decision to leave is taken,
There must be something that shouldn't be in a relationship.
(lies, infidelity, deceit, cheat, .. etc..)

As a result, passion finished, excitement finished, love finished,
the value you give each other is finished. You're starting to hurt each other.
Everything that should be done in the relationship is over and you're slowly starting to end.

Why do you keep loving someone who doesn't give you value and hurt you?
Aren't you valuable?
Without her love, you're precious.
You shouldn't think of someone who hurts your heart and someone who doesn't give you value.

(Or shortly... Like this... Your car is out of fuel and the engine started to smoke but you are still trying to go on a journey. You must apply the brake pedal and you must stop.
There are other cars you will drive
and other wonderful journeys.
But you want to think about your old and broken and burnt car and fuel.
Don't forget, you're the driver. Without you, the car won't go.)

[LonewolfMeme]

Yea. I get this strong feeling that this isn't over. It's like anytime I start to get distracted my body is warning me about being distracted.

[dhanyashree]

I would say befriend ur ex but not try to patch up again. I was struggling to forget my ex too. It was so difficult for me so I finally ended up talking to him as a friend. I was all the time worried how he took the break up and if he is doing well and breaking up immediately only caused depression. You need to calm down ur system and find peace. Untill then you won't be able to take any good decision. It really worked for me. I didn't really talked much with him after that but I was so happy and felt peaceful when I came to know that he has moved on... I feel ur case is as mine.. if he was the one who broke up then u don't even have to worry actually. He doesn't know the value of you and broke up things... If that's the case it would be much more easier than the former. You don't have to wait for him. U deserve urself.. you just have to thank God that this all ended I mean a bad person who doesn't love you is out of your life. My ex was sucking my energies and never ever told me that he wanted to break up. I would say that's worse than a guy leaving. Break ups are good. You can realise what you can handle and what you can't. Hope you can find any insight out of it.

[LonewolfMeme]

My ex wasn't like that tho. He pushed me to be positive and we've argrued over me not being happy. He was right that I have control over it tho I'd never admit that to anyone knowing that won't change.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Think of it this way and see if it works. Imagine like myself
my late Maternal Grandparents bought a expensive class-ring
of Class of 86 , like a dumb ass i let my ex-girlfriend wear it
what happened? She lost the class-ring and guess what
i will never be able to get it back and another thing the money
they want for them now days , i most likely will never be able
to afford to buy one to replace it. So what happens if your ex
lost something expensive of yours that your Grandparents
gave you or maybe a Great Aunt , yes my life is sad and i learned
my lesson?

[Jwags]

It's normal grieving. For me, I always had to break off all contact with the ex. If I didn't, it would just make it stretch out and hurt even longer. Get out and spend time around your close friends and family. Keep yourself busy! Time will heal all wounds!

[Adi95]

Time, friends, sport, hobby, work, education...
Stay busy...
Look 3 years after I still think about her... But I so not want her anymore

[COMMODOREII]

I've been there. It sucks. I hated the dreams of my ex. 😢

[LonewolfMeme]

yea. pm me

[COMMODOREII]

I just pm you

[kh391]

You need to find someone else to take your mind off your ex and worse if you broke up for a good reason

[LonewolfMeme]

Tried that and it hasn't helped

[Anonymous]

think about yourself, you are young and you will find many

[LonewolfMeme]

Yea yea.

[farhaan7]

Set a goal think of it more than Ur ex make that goal bigger obsession than Ur ex.

[rockrewls]

Give it time go out with friends, focus on you, not on him it will get better with time.

[WhiteShoulder]

Rebounding often does backfire

[some101]

Any tips? This is a mindfuck.

[LonewolfMeme]

@some101 wut

[Agem123]

Have u tried fucking someone else?

[LonewolfMeme]

Yea.

[Agem123]

I would say allow yourself to feel bad, cry or whatever. It may sound so cliche, but it will go away.

[pleasestopthis]

Try to distract yourself with activities you like.

[manpower61]

Surround yourself with people, indulge into work.

[LonewolfMeme]

On break and people give me a headache

[manpower61]

Im sure there are some people that can lift up your mood? That's not even necessary. Being in their presence is enough.

[LonewolfMeme]

There are and they do but I don't talk to them often

[yaboyj1]

Think about someone else that you like

[LonewolfMeme]

I don't like anyone else

[Gatman34]

Listen to 50 cent

[LonewolfMeme]

to what

[Gatman34]

It’s music

[LonewolfMeme]

... what type

[Gatman34]

Gangster rap it will put you in a mood get your mind of boys and on to better things

[LonewolfMeme]

i don't like

[Anonymous]

Eat some chocolate

[LonewolfMeme]

did that hasn't helped

[manpower61]

Will that help?

[Opinion Owner]

@manpower61 I don't know try

[manpower61]

Alright