Girls vs guys after a breakup? Why does it seem like guys move on really fast after a breakup and girls take a lot longer to heal and move on?

Question

Why does it seem like guys move on really fast after a breakup and girls take a lot longer to heal and move on? Do guys still think about girls after they break up with them ever? It just always seems like guys do fine after a breakup and aren’t affected or missing the girl while girls are more heartbroken. Is thus generally the case or is it just me?

DonRomeo · Accepted Answer

This assumption is wrong enough to make me suspect that you're just baiting us to correct you for attention. I'll bite:

Studies have actually been done on this phenomenon, and in general men experience grief for far longer than women. Even for life, whereas women tend to get over breakups, on average, something like less than 3 months.

Its actually pretty insulting to assume that males dont feel significant pain after a breakup. And the studies accord with my experience too. If you are genuinely asking though, avergaes allow for exceptions, and this may be the case with you. However, that still depends on that you know what he is feeling, and what his coping strategy is. Maybe you are more expressive and he is being more tactical, but you are both still grieving.

In another study, something fascinating has been found, and I believe is a strong indication as to which gender really weilds the power over the other in society. It is simply this: girls dump guys significantly more than guys dump girls. Not massively more often, but enough to mean something. Consider from that which is worse: dumping someone, or being dumped. Therefor, again, males are more likely to be grieving harder and for longer. I just thought I'd include that for the purposes of correcting misperceptions.

As for you: hopefully people learn that the apparent time it takes to get over someone is not proportionate to their value, or even the value that their ex-partner held them at.

Remember also that bridges can be burnt after a breakup by coming across as desperate and in a weak position - whereas even a feigned coolness and pragmatism can keep the door open for a future reunion.

Don Romeo

David_Kek · Accepted Answer

The key word there is "seem".
From the studies I've read, not only men on average fall in love faster than women, but they take longer to get over heartbreak too.

The reason for that perception, is the fact that men simply aren't allowed to express their feelings or sorrow.
It doesn't matter what women say about wanting guys to open up with their feelings. For a man to open up his feelings to a woman in any other context than in bed after she's spent months gentling trying to prise it out of him, is to tell that women that he is undesirable.

So of course men seem to move on faster, because if they're dying on the inside, why would they show you? Unlike you, a mans tears won't get him anything.

mindNsoul · Accepted Answer

From my experience this is not true actually. Whoever fell in love the strongest will suffer the most. Men have hearts too and experience pain and disappointment same as women. The reality is that we are made different and deal with things differently and society expect us to react differently to different situations. But at the end of the day we are all humans!

Rapidash · Accepted Answer

I think girls are more prone to showing their emotions. Then cry it out and move on. Guys from my experience say they are okay but aren’t actually and struggle through it without admitting that they are upset. BUT this isn’t universal and depends on the relationship and personality (as well as experience) of the people in the relationship.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Usually whoever is less invested in the relationship moves on faster, regardless of who did the dumping. You can dump someone you are still madly in love with because they are unwilling to make the same sacrifices you are making to keep the thing alive. You can also be dumped and be secretly relieved because for months you were faking it wishing they'd do it for you. Some people also have different "moving on" styles. The get under someone else to get over an ex is pretty common. Men will hunt to boost self esteem and women in this time will also do so.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Who said so? It depends on the person, if i'm in love and something happens which makes us break up, i'll become broken, sad and powerless...

Depressed and won't be able to even get out of my house or see anyone because when i love, i give everything that i have and i build dreams and a future with this person, it ain't easy to just have all these done and in the end i go back to the start point, ZERO!

I search for love and not for sex, cause i can have sex when i'm in love and after marriage, i don't want sex without love cause it's meaningless to me and makes me feel like an animal...

Don't generalize things and say ALL MEN are like that cause you will be oppressing some men who aren't like that, even if they are rare but they do exists!

Blueeyes81 · Answer

By and large that is true to an extent. Its largely based on ones social circles. Male friends typically encourage their newly single friend to move on. We aren't the greatest at offering emotional support so we try to keep them distracted until they find someone else. But often times that backfires. The newly single male relishes his new found freedom until he doesn't. It's then a month, two months , three months down the road that we begin to mourn. We realize we miss the little things, the subtle things. While women typically receive emotional support from their female friends and thus end up moving on quicker in the long run.

David92506 · Answer

I don't believe it's easier for men to move on after a break-up as it is for a woman. It seems to me it's equal.

After we broke up my ex-girlfriend found someone within 2-weeks because she went on Match. com and POF. She got 100's of men wanting to meet her. It took me 2-years to find someone.

It's different for different people.

perfectchaos · Answer

I can't speak for all guys but it is a coping mechanism for me because the longer I have from the initial breakup the more depressed I get. It's been two years since the girl I truly loved broke up with me and Everyday she creeps in my mind more and more just bringing feelings of sadness and loneliness. If you asked me a month after I would say I have high Hope's. Now I have none at all.

tryingtolearn87 · Answer

I think it depends. Sometimes the person who does the dumping moved on a long time ago. And think about all the texts you get from your ex 5 months later. There had been breakups that I could not get over and some I cried for a week and that was it. So it depends on the person and the emotional investment

WhistleForTheChoir · Answer

Studies actually show that men fall in love faster and take longer to fall out of love. We just aren't allowed to show emotion, so it actually takes us MUCH longer to get over it. But there is the fact that women also select for Dark Triad personality traits, and as a result they might have more exposure to men who just don't feel much of anything at all.

apple24 · Answer

I cried a little brought him soup when he was sick after the break up. That was the last time I saw him. It hurt but it had to be done because I wasn't in love with him but I still cared. I stop talking to him and block him. He called me a year later and it was stupid. Nothing happen. So, after a break-up I just pretend they died. I then move on and wish them the best.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t, I fall for girls way too quick, get hurt, then sulk about it for longer than the relationship lasted. I’ve come to avoid relationships entirely because of it. It’s probably one of those things I should talk to a therapist about but can’t really afford to.

Anonymous · Answer

That's a myth. One of my oldest friends broke up with his girl because after years of arguments he realized it would be a mistake to marry her. But five months later, he was still crying over her even though he "accepted" the break up was the right thing to do and was dating other people. After about 8 months of being semi-apart (they kept slipping up in between time...), they're finally got back together. So yeah... clearly never got over it, lol.

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Because social conditioning teaches girls to be whiney bitchy little attention whores, flaunting their problems everywhere for fake cheap complements. On the other hand, it teaches guys that any emotion is a sign of weakness and reason for humiliation. So no, we don't just move on fast, we simply deal with our shit.

Anonymous · Answer

Well of course it varies with everyone, guy or girl and depends on the specific relationship and his feelings for you, but we don't. It seems that way because we hide it a lot better than women do. Guys will do everything not to show it, where girls will show it and talk about it (which guys should do, but we don't lol).

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz when a girl gets into a
Relationship she goes
For
The emotional part about it where a guy pretty much goes for
The physical part about it , so a guy can move on faster cuz it was more
Physical then emotional

MDollarBill · Answer

Guys don't generally wallow in their emotions, or do endless replays and second-guessing. They also don't endlessly whine to all of their friends about it. In fact we hardly mention it. We're trained from very early in life to "Dust yourself off and get back in the saddle."

Mystic_Nova · Answer

Guys dont like to openly show their feelings. They might seem "fine" but they might be hurting inside.  You when girls say they're fine when they aren't? Same concept, but 24/7

cute_short_nerd · Answer

Some guys go and mess with a ton of ladies to get that one off their mind. Don’t come at me I am a child and I don't know what I’m talking about😭

Moimaris · Answer

Guys have no feelings. They just go to the nearest girl who offers sex and that is priority for most men

the3ghzpc · Answer

That's a load of fake news. Some guys simply just rebound after a relationship. I however don't. I think about it for a long time and wonder what happened. Then I remember that I just am not cut out for love.

120120 · Answer

They don‘t move on they miss the relationship and gets hurt but later after months of the breakup they missed the person that is if he wasn‘t some kind of player I guess.

0112358 · Answer

Guys don’t wait to heal. They move on and let their feelings catch up later.

Anonymous · Answer

It affects guys over a longer period of time, that’s why. So really the truth is the opposite of what you think but when you look at it on the surface it looks back to front when not considering the whole picture.

blutwolfe · Answer

I noticed the exact opposite in my experience, all girls move on without batting an eyelash and every guy just seems destroyed and turns player

archiz · Answer

Not true They might act like it But trust me they are feeling it, it's all bottled inside which is worse really.

datgirl · Answer

I dont think guys just get over stuff like that. They just don't like to show they're hurting and they keep their minds occupied with other things so that they don't ever have to get sad.

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

Depends on the individual and how attached they were to their partner.

trickycrossiant · Answer

They mask it off easier since they mask everything off more.

razzmatazz110 · Answer

It's probably just your perspective. A woman can break up with a man, then the same day walk outside and get a new one.

Space_Radio · Answer

1. Its a different curve guys go through greif  2. They do think but it an attempt to understand what went wrong 3. Guys pretending to be ok doesn't mean they are ok

jamesgoldman · Answer

Guys aren't allowed to show emotions... luckily for me I don't have any

Anonymous · Answer

Because girls get very emotionally attached whereas guys don't. It's biological.

DaddyRollingStone · Answer

In my observation it's been the opposite. Men just conceal their emotions.

Gvardiecky · Answer

Cause we for more often friendzoned, breakups etc girls dont have as much expirience as we do

AshleyMariaWinter · Answer

Not true! Guys just pretend to be macho as if it didn't hurt them as well.

xiuxie · Answer

really it depends on how much he or she loves their partner... the person who loves more has likely to take longer time to move on

Anonymous · Answer

Where did you learn that bullshit? Women have usually moved on before they even end the first relationship!

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

Oh trust me, the opposite can often be the case.

Fares_Abd · Answer

We do care, and we do think we just dont show it.

Aislin9 · Answer

Cold hearts.

leahzrc · Answer

speak for yourself

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Totally true

Smirnoff23 · Answer

Not always

Anonymous · Answer

That's a myth

Girls vs guys after a breakup? Why does it seem like guys move on really fast after a breakup and girls take a lot longer to heal and move on?

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