Do you check on your EX on social media?

[mozay]

[NyceGuyFinishingLast]

First off I don't have any social media accounts. This app would be the closest thing I have. I had Facebook at one time but it was a life force sucking entity that really provided no enjoyment in my life. It got to the point where I wasn't even logging in anymore. I deleted and good riddance. I digress.

No one should stalk their ex's life on social media. If you aren't with them then move on. Why are you letting them live rent free inside your head? More than likely they may have moved on and here you are keeping up with everything they do instead of living your life. Can't let people move in if you don't let the old move out, of your mentality of course not physically speaking.

This question reminds me of that show You on Netflix. The guy was a psychopath and created his own hell because he was so busy keeping up with his prey's life that he really wasn't living his own.

Are you aware of how much power you give your ex by checking on what's going on in your life? I know it feels like you have to know or it feels better knowing but it really doesn't. Letting go and moving on are the best options to being happy. Trust me, nothing made my life better until after I deleted my account for Facebook and then waited the 14 days to have it permanently deleted.

Move on, stop being a creeper, stalker. So many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years you have wasted looking at someone's life that you currently have no impact on anymore.

[dudeinohio]

I do not

[Anonymous]

I did. And that's how I moved on from him. After we split up, I was heartbroken for three years. I held onto the hope we'd get back together one day. I often wondered if he ever thought about me and missed me. Stupidity, I told myself he did. One day, I decided to check to see if he was on Facebook (he wasn't when I was with him) I I found him on FB and he'd been in a relationship with another woman for two years. My heart sank and it felt like it broke into a million pieces when I saw photos of them happy happ. He tagged her in photos and said how much he loved her and how she'll always be the only woman for him. He never once talked like that to me. It was so clear and obvious that he loved her. In that moment, I realized he'd never loved me or cared about me. I was delusional in thinking he missed me and thought about me. Knowing he'd let go of me long ago and his heart belonged to another woman helped me to finally let go of him. It was hope and wishful thinking that kept me holding on for three years. .

[Opinion Owner]

Thabk you for the MHO

[Opinion Owner]

thank*

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I'm still friends with one, so we are friends on social media. I don't go out of my way to check his page, but see stuff from him in my feed sometimes.

I haven't checked up on the other one in ages. I just don't have any desire to. Even when people try to "fill me in" on his life, I just don't care enough to listen, lol. It's been nearly 5 years, I've moved on. I didn't really go through a phase of checking on what he was doing though, I was so done with the relationship I didn't care. Friends sent me screen shots of him passive-aggressively trashing me as well as things he knew I liked, but I just laughed and thought of it as childish, lol.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Nope, I have no reason to- and I made sure to block him as well so he cannot reach out to me or check on me at all.
As soon as we broke up, I made sure to delete and block him so he couldn't communicate or try to get back in contact with me, and because I wanted to move on with my life and get over him.

My life is much happier that way :)

[ArrowheadSW]

He must've been a real jerk?

[bluetoblack99]

If he do something fundamentally wrong (cheating, lying about big things, physical abuse, one sided verbal abuse, etc) then what you did is appropriate.

But if you two just grew apart, you just lost attraction towards him, relationship ran it’s course, etc. then what you did was very cruel.

I say this because I had an ex do something similar to me and I didn’t do anything fundamentally wrong. Not to say I was in the wrong on some things, I definitely was. I actually wanted her to break up with me. But I thought we would have a mutual respect for each other afterwards. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@ArrowheadSW @bluetoblack99 He cheated on me with a woman twice my age- yet blamed me for him cheating saying I wasn't "emotionally mature" enough for him.
Yet he wanted to stay friends with me after the breakup, and made several attempts to contact and check up on me.

Trust me when I say blocking and getting rid of him was best for my mental and emotional health.

[bluetoblack99]

He banged a 70 yr old grandma? Gross.

You absolutely did the right thing. What a moron that he tried to gaslight you. Proud of you blocking his ass.

I think one of the reasons I had a ex block me is because she fucking cheated. I never found out the truth but I’m suspicious it happens a week or two before we split. She started a new and that’s when she started acting weird. I think she found some guy there she liked. Since her and I were having problems she went to him. Lying whore.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@bluetoblack99 Haha! No no, this happened years ago! When I was 22, 23? He was 28, and the woman he cheated on me with was in her 40s!

Ugh, sorry your ex might have cheated on you as well. I swear I really hate cheaters!!! If they are unhappy with us, just tell us, don't go behind our backs or make it seem like the relationship ending is our fault.

[bluetoblack99]

Weird. Well you did the right thing.

Yeah the more I thought about the more it seemed like my ex cheated. When we broke up I thought we would have mutual respect. But instead she treated me like absolute shit. Very callous.

People handle guilt differently. Some people gaslight and double down to make themselves feel better. She was a cunt.

[Belgie]

Depends on the ex.
Some of them I'm still really good friends with.
The ones I'm not friends with, I wouldn't. I'm not the stalker type.

[ObscuredBeyond]

1 from grade school? No contact. 1st from high school? No. Screw her. 2nd? She died years ago. Korean from 2006? Not often. She went home, and got married. Blonde from 2006? Hell no! She belongs on every man's do-not-date list. Evil thot. The Slovakian? No. She's way too dangerous. Blonde from 2009? Died earlier this year. The Pinays? Not often. They're both happy with their new boy toys. No point inserting myself. The treasure from China? We got cockblocked by the CCP. I talk to her... if they allow it.

Haven't had much luck with women since then.

[TruthBringer]

I used to. I believe anyone who cared enough about the relationship has stalked their ex at some point. Now that I don’t care at all, I don’t see the point for me stalking my exes who had brought nothing but misery (a racist family was 1 of em) and headaches to my life. Especially since I was the one who initiated the break ups and never regretted doing so. Being in a loving and stress-free relationship now, I see even less reason to give a damn about them. I'm too busy living a better life 😂.

[Mollynotgemma]

Yes and it’s not just one ex. It’s all of them. And I feel sad that I’m not with them but it’s because I’m obviously not happy that I let them go and see them married with children etc. it’s like a sick addiction. If they wanted me back I wouldn’t want them. But because they don’t I crave it! I wonder if they look at my posts

[GlitterFairy16]

I used too till he went crazy and deleted everything. Due to him not always being in the right mind i used to check his fb and insta just to see how he was doing. He may have been terrible to me but i can't help but still care a little and want to help.

[DaisyAimi]

At first i do, but then i just tell myself that i have to delete/block him to move on. It feels refreshing to look at your social media without checking up on him or seeing his messages/posts. A new chapter begins!

[roody]

I check my first boyfriend’s instagram like once every year and a half out of curiosity.
he fucked me up bad, I didn’t trust any men for like 4 years since he cheated on me when I was 16 so he deserves to get insta-stalked a bit

[bluetoblack99]

It hurts you more than it hurts him to stalk his social media.

But I know there is some sort a psychological quirk people have to ruminate on a ex that fucked them over. It’s this bittersweet love hate thing.

[ArrowheadSW]

I have looked up ex's on social media, just to see what they might be up to. One I found out became a lesbian! She had photos of herself with her "wife" and adopted child... Needless to say I was completely speechless... I didn't see THAT coming! LOL

[FlutteringFeelings]

I don't have any Ex's but I do have people I was "seeing" attempting to get to know them and not at all. I'm usually the one that walks away so for that reason I'll view but eventually see no point in it and stop checking.

[Anonymous]

Tbh i know my ex does because he always finds my social media accounts and blocks them but we broke up years ago. Things like viewing stories and blocking shows your ex still checks up on you from time to time.
It is better just not to even search for their social media and pretend they don’t exist. I myself struggle with this with one ex but otherwise I don’t check up on any other exes

[MindYourEyes]

Nope. Why poison myself when i can easily safe myself by not looking?
Plus, not my cup of tea. I got my own shit to worry about XD

[SaraSmithishere]

I have one ex that was a really talented musician and filmmaker and I'll occasionally (once a year or so) look at his IMDB page to see what he's working on. But no, I don't look at anyone's social media page who I've dated.

[Jazzersmomma]

He has me blocked on fb. We follow each other on insta. I'm friends with his mom on fb still and then his new girlfriend sent me a request on FB. I deleted it lol

[Lyndsielee666]

Nah. I have him as a friend and don’t even remember half the time. Lmfao
I hope he’s not abusive to his girlfriend but that’s not on me

[RenWalker101]

I don't anymore.
They've moved on and I don't want to see their relationships.
I have other women to talk to and life goes on.

[Darcia]

I think he looks at mines. I posted a picture on Instagram and next day I log on see a like from my ex.

[Cherokeehp]

Nope I’m pretty sure he’s in jail now so I doubt his social media has been updated.

[talulahbee]

I used to, then realised why? Lol. What is going to come from it? Now I'm not allowed on social media but tbh I don't think I would be checking anyway.

[93_n_on]

No and it's good this is brought up at a time when not only they lying about dating me but about me stalking them. I'm not stalking anyone. Nobody is special like that but they want to feel that way.