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52Opinion
He really needs to talk to his kids at some point however, this could also be a tatic to get you to come back to him too... So it's hard to know what the best move is...
I think he will talk to them and say sine dumb stuff framing me as the abandoner. The kids know who has their back.
I am cordial and kind because I'm in a vulnerable position. He knows I don't want him.
Hopefully it will be good for kids for him to talk to them
The kids are the important ones here, not your husband's ego,
Without a doubt!
Why do you expect him to announce something that you want and he doesn't?
Did you want him to file the divorce? You can't force people to do what you want to make it easier for you.
That said, he probably should, but maybe it is too hard on him. Maybe you lack empathy for him.
You dimwit. It's about the kids. I have no qualms about saying it alone.
He is the one who lacks empathy clearly since he can't even see past his own butthurtness for his kids. He has no empathy that's why we're divorcing.
I obviously can't force him and Injave idea what abiut my post implied I was going to do such.
He doesn’t have to do shit with you anymore since it is a divorce. That starts immediately.
He will have his own relationship with the kids going forward, starting now. You are no longer a pair.
Actually we still are at the moment. We haven't actually divorced yet. But thanks for the bitterness.
@Jersey2 ever heard of coparenting? They still need to work together for the kids.
@loves2learn there are a lot of parents that have ended divorces on such bad terms they do what is called “parallel parenting” which would be better than having to constantly meet each other and be in a toxic environment. To each their own. Every situation is different. No judgement.
@lexiflexs never heard of that. Thanks for sharing.
No problem. It’s when a third party is used to communicate things.
Sorry to hear that. People always change over the years. When you first met someone then its lots and lots of sex then after 10 or more year then you'll soon realize you want to jumping on new color bones when you start drifting apart. I have lots of reasons not to get married. Who knows you might run into a old sweetheart to start over either its friendship, friends with benefits or a romantic relationship. Single moms always find a relationship rather she's looking or not. My ex friends with benefits told me she's never gonna date again until she ran into her childhood sweetheart and they reconciled their relationship on Easter 🤷🏻♂️
Siiiigggh I have three kids to raise. New color bones are it the priority.
I don't believe because you have been married gor 10+ years, things can't be fresh and exciting. They absolutely can! Sexual intimacy is the easiest thing to fix but not when there is emotional and mental abuse.
*not
My best friend around my age 36 was married for 11 until his now ex wife 36 got married again but with a 21M guy with more stamina and faster recharges in bed. She wanted someone with more intense sexual chemistries with a younger man in bed. Example she won't let my best friend to have butt sex with her but she'll have butt sex with her new 21 stud husband. Yes there also trying to have a baby 🤷🏻♂️. It's sucks but welcome to Indiana
I am very happy for your friend. However, this isn't a sexuality post.
It's still a divorce topic because I'm telling you the outcome. Like it or not
No matter how you do it, the kids are going to HATE one, or BOTH of you!! He's a douchbag, making you do it, but it won't change anything! You are both just FUCKING UP YOUR KIDS!! Good Work, as parents!!
Don't give me any bullshit excuses! I lived it, and my parents did that, and FUCK THEM for being so screwed up, and they NEVER should have had kids!!
I wish you healing. Thanks for answering.
@coulis I'm fine, and don't need 'healing' but thanks for trying. What's happening with you, and yours?
@jacksmy Should have never had kids? We dont get to pick our parents, only our decisions. The world is screwed up, decide on how to cope with it. So angry
@Mofunfour20 Sorry, but you don't know me, and with this little text, you think you can say, and post things, assuming that I am angry, when I am not? FUCK YOU!! Who are you to judge, not knowing anything about me?
Then dont post anything and people won't judge. If you're prepared to give criticism its important to be able to take it back. Im gonna say a little prayer for you, have a great weekend. @jacksmy
It's best I think to do it as a unit, together, but he doesn't sound like the greatest guy in general if he was abusive, so not surprised he doesn't want to.
He is ill.
I won't be ungrateful and discount his good. But the harms are more.
One more way he has decided to bitch out. In my opinion.
I mean you wanted it, you should be prepared to do everything that comes with it.
You broke the family, you're abandoning him, he owes you nothing more, so you deal with it.
It's not that you're doing anything wrong or being unreasonable. It may be for the best. It's just that he no longer needs to deal with it. So he isn't.
Yes, I did break the family by bending over backwards cooking separte meals every night because of all his food quirks that would change monthly only to be questioned about every ingredient that was put in the meal and then not believed for over a decade.
Someone who would pretend not to hear me, berate and scream at me in public, mock me in front of people who he felt were more important than me, leave bruises on my kids and deny physically abusing me and once even had prostitute in my car with a very flimsy reason why and only told me because he thought his friends might find out about it.
Then call me abusive, dissatisfied and having unreasonable standards for wanting to discuss my feelings.
You're right. He is being abandoned. You are so right anonymous poster.
Never brave enough to put your username on these idiotic posts.
Implied in my post was that I was playing devils advocate. I was expressing his possible thoughts rather than my own. I'm sorry I chose not to make that explicit.
This was not intended to make light of your difficult situation nor to suggest any blame in your direction.
I chose nowadays to post anonymously as I find typically I get a better response from others on this site, why I don't know.
Anonymous or not, I typically post much the same level of replies and believe it or not, take some time on each.
Clearly, you have taken offense at this particular post. I can see why without obvious context. But know that offense was not what I was aiming for.
Oh ok. I get you now. No you weren't clear. Excuse my knee-jerk repsonse. We cool.
I think both parents should announce the divorce tbh.
That's what I've always seen as lessening the blow.
Till death do you part, rember that? Work it out.
No I don't rember it, sorry.
Your username is such a good description of the opinions you post.
You and your new boyfriend should announce it possibly.
On anonymous no less. Hahaha. He's likely got someone lined up to be honest. I just have my kids.
I guess we just have to take your side of the story.
who rfucking cares. you wanted it so get used to doing things for yourself and tell them. stop being a whiny bitch
Whiny bitchery is most likely your specialty.
never marry another man. save you love for your fellow feminists
I'm gonna marry you.
that is not funny
💋💋💋👰🤵 <<< That's us baby 💍💍🔔🔔🔔💍
i feel sick
I'm here to take of you.
That’s sadistic bullshit.
Were you and him together for more than a decade?
Yes, we were.
When did you and him first meet?
Do you think they need to know?
They have a right. Their life as they know it will be changed for good. It's unavoidable.
Not fair.
You live in US? Is he going to be able to see kids? How old the kids are? Who kids will spend most of their time with?
We don't live in the US. There will be zero issue with him seeing the kids. He was going to move to a diff city but I'm glad he decided against it. He will move where my oldest can get herself there if need be.
Both of you should tell kids. If not together may be one at a time. Look for website they may help you break the news to kids or use therapists help if possible.
I can give you some script. We can refine script before you break the news.
Yes, I was about to ask about one at a time.
I have very important news to share with you.
How old, how many, Boys or Girls.
Last one is question for you.
9, 5, 2 two girls and a boy
Very young.
Your dad and I have to get separated and we will do our best to not our differences comes in our way in providing you all the necessities. Food, clothing, shelter education. Undevided attention and affection as long as you need. May it be 13 16 18 21 or 25. Try not to say any of these numbers.
Don't raise them out of guilt.
What numbers
Yeah I don't mess with numerology.
Try to send them to dads. After 8 or 9 full time.
For how many years you will support them those numbers.
Till what age you will support them those numbers
He said flat out he can't and won't take them full time. He only likes superficial relationships.
Ah ok. I get it. The financial isn't an issue.
How old are the kids?
Ladies always bail, they are the weaker sex