I feel like a bad person for leaving my relationship for another man, am I?

I was with my first boyfriend from 17-21 years old. He was 20-24. He is a wonderful man and I love him still to this day. I want to dive into why I felt the way I felt with him but I dont have enough time. Let’s just say he was very sweet but I felt very under appreciated and as his Buisness grew I felt as if I was left in the dust, even though I helped him so much I abandoned my own life trying to be there for his any time he needed. He would bring his friends along with him as I would just be there sitting around even though I showed him time and time again we can be a team and I was very capable of it. I delt with a lot of anxiety and he talked me into getting medication. One day he told me he wanted a break for the whole summer, I was devastated. I was so hurt and lost I had a major panic attack and was hospitalized, he never came to see me. I begged and begged for him to talk to me and he would ignore me. Then he finally came back. After that I thought, I already don’t like how I felt in the relationship and then this, is he even the one. Months later we went back to normal but I started feeling like I wanted to start dating. I met a guy and before I started dating him I told my ex I wanted to take a break as he did to me. I started dating him and I fell in love. He told me things like I didn’t need the medication as he seen what it did to me, he made me feel like I wasn’t my anxiety and talked about how he would like someone to grow with. Everything I felt I was missing. I was young, Vulnerable, and gullible. My ex found out and I tried to hide it, which was horrible of me. I finally came clean and he was devastated. He asked for me back but I denied but we spoke after all the smoked cleared and we ended properly. I hated myself the whole time. I dated the new guy for 3 years and he was VERY abusive. Now we are friends again, I repented but I feel he is over me. he invited me over but I felt he wouldn’t want someone like me, I said I’m ok w being friends
I feel like a bad person for leaving my relationship for another man, am I?
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