Refuse to give closure?

[Anonymous]

I dated this guy for 4 months, and it was perfect, insane chemistry, good sex life, not a single argument. Same upbringing, same morals, same life goals. He had to move to a different country because of work and broke up with me because he said he couldn't do long distance relationships, had tried and failed in the past.

Even on our last day he was telling me I was everything he ever wanted, fantasizing about us meeting again years later, how he wasn't going to date for a while. I had said the L word already but he hadn't. Queue 2 weeks and I find out he has been dating a girl local to me. I breakdown and ask questions, because it was so quick. He admits he met her when we were still together.
When I try to get some detail (as friends, a date?) He blocks me on most things. It's been 2 months and they are still together and doing long distance.

And I am nowhere near getting over this. How can someone go from you are everything I want to get out of my life in days. I recently asked for answers again so I could have closure and got blocked on that platform. No answers whatsoever, no explanation as to why we didn't work. Not even "leave me alone" or anything. The way he was when we were together, it made me feel like the most loved person in the world, despite not saying the L word.

He was not cruel or heartless, so how can he be now? I explained, I just want to know why you broke up with me, so I can end the confusion, stop the pain, close this chapter forever and move on. I tried appealing to his kind side, if he has one, but nothing. I told him, give me the answers and I promise you will never hear from me again, and still nothing. I explained how painful it was not having answers.

Why would he refuse to give me closure, knowing it's causing pain? I have flaws but I know I didn't do anything to deserve this. I feel like it's a wound that will never heal and I am scared of opening to someone again. What are your opinions as men? Why would he behave like this?

Updates

+1 y

Also, he never put things on social media with me, or mention me, or interact with me. I understood that social media is not a reflection of happiness and he told me he didn't like selfies, so I respected. I dont even know if he told his family or friends (they live far away). He's been woth this girl 2 months (1 1/2 month long distance and his profile pic is them two togetger, he comments all over her pictures with hearts and pet names. Was he ashamed of me?

Updates

+1 y

Communication is very important to me. I regularly asked how he was feeling. And he would do things like tell me I was everything he ever wanted, he would talk about the future with me in it, call me drunk to tell me how much he liked me, was very protective of me because of how exs had treated me, told me that any man who rejected me was an idiot, on and on and on. And this wasn't just in the beginning, minutes before he left my place for good.

[caring__1]

It appears this relationship was in your head, not his. He had no investment in you. Now you want closure. Maybe he felt his actions already told you he wasn't really into you, and you were just a filler till something better came along. He doesn't want to admit he was just using you, so there will be no closure. Just look at his overall choices and actions, and see that as your closure. Next time, put forth effort to discover what's going on in the other person's head rather than just focus on the fantasy in your head. You're more likely to get what you want if you're dealing with reality than fantasy. Sorry you had to have this experience, but use it as a learning experience and move forward.

[Asker]

I see what you are saying, the issue is that throughout the tine we were togetger I did that. Communication is very important to me. I regularly asked how he was feeling. And he would do things like tell me I was everything he ever wanted, he would talk about the future with me in it, call me drunk to tell me how much he liked me, was very protective of me because of how exs had treated me, told me that any man who rejected me was an idiot, on and on and on. And this wasn't just in the beginning, minutes before he left my place for good he told me I was everything he always wanted and that if he wasn't being relocated he would have stayed with me and was gutted for leaving. On our last day he was fantasizing about meeting again in the future one day. All of these things came out of his mouth, unprovoked. (Inot like when someone says, you look nice, oh you look nice too)

And now he is trying long distance with the girl he met a couple of times before leaving to go abroad. Hence my confusion and hurt.

[caring__1]

It sounds like he fed you what he believed was necessary to continue to get his needs met. To know it is real, it is important to hear the specifics of what makes you different from other girls he has known. It appears he preferred to give you vague generalities. You want to know what makes you unique and special, not just you're wonderful and beautiful and everything I've ever wanted... all of which says nothing and is up to you to interpret it anyway you wish.

[Iron_Man]

I am so confuse what do you mean the L word that’s a lesbian TV show

[Anonymous]

It hurts, but he doesn't owe you anything. That's something I learned from a very young age and though it doesn't necessarily make it feel better, it does make it easier to move on from things. You have to accept the fact that you may never get closure and you can't beg him for it. You can't just say you'll leave him alone if he gives you an answer, just leave him alone like a normal person.

[Opinion Owner]

I just saw that you dated him for only 4 months.

Girl, move on with your life.

[In_Trance]

Closure is overrated. Move on