Why is he doing this?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I of 6 months broke up the other day over something stupid. He said he needed space and that we should hang out on Saturday. I gave him his space and ignored most of his calls and texts saying he misses me but still needs space. He told me he wasn’t going to see anyone while we are distancing, but then my friend calls me last night and said she saw him on tinder. I’m completely done with his a$$ but genuinely want to know why he thinks taking a break and hook up with other people is okay... I haven’t called him out because I’m not wasting my time. But Is he hooking up with other people because he is trying to move on? Or make him realize that a girlfriend is not what he wants? I’m just angry and confused.

[Anonymous]

Put bluntly — he does this because you allow it, and you really shouldn’t. In this situation I feel like he’s trying to keep one foot in the door and one foot out. In other words, see what’s out there but not ruin things with you. If things were as simple as him just needing some space then he would’ve asked for only that, not break up entirely. But clearly he thinks he can either do better and is actively seeking that (hence the Tinder). If I were you, I’d have to be strong asf and not talk to him for a long time. He shouldn’t get to call the shots and you should show him the results of a breakup. That means not having so much access to you, being able to hang out with you still and basically lead you on. Put your foot down, and hold him accountable. Like if he wants to have tinder and seek other women then cool, but you won’t be the last resort if he doesn’t successfully find another woman and you won’t be there for him to just hop back into a relationship with just bc the grass wasn’t greener on the other side like he hoped.

[On_cloud_wine]

Maybe he picked a fight with you—a dumb fight at that—on purpose because he wanted to end it because he didn’t know how to tell you he wanted to end it. And some guys who target the one-man-woman-type, know what they need to do to get what they want, then call it quits.

[DumBear]

Sounds like he is being immature and selfish. Like he is keeping you on the side while he browses what else is out there. I would tell him what youve been shown and that you two are done. If he actually cared he wouldn't have ended things then actively looked around for new booty.
He is most likely messaging you cause he's lonely seekung validation.